The Light Within
by swonder
Summary: Following the Battle with the Red Lotus, Korra tries to recuperate from the trauma, while dealing with the demons haunting her at night and a surfacing connection with a certain Firebender. [Post Book 3]
1. I

Welcome to this Korra/Mako Story! It's my first Legend of Korra fanfiction but hopefully not the last. I was a fan of the couple since the beginning, and although I was satisfied with the show's ending, I couldn't help but long for this pairing that I've always loved.

This Story takes places when Korra left to the South Pole to heal after the fight with Zaheer.

 **ENJOY!**

 **Summary:** Following the Battle with the Red Lotus, Korra tries to recuperate from the trauma, while dealing with the demons haunting her at night and a surfacing connection with a certain Firebender.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything from the World of Avatar.

 **Rating: T** will sometimes include curse words and possibly non graphic sex scenes.

* * *

" _Even in the material world, you will find that if you look for the light, you can often find it. But if you look for the dark, that is all you will ever see."_

– _ **Iroh**_

* * *

 **I**

She woke up screaming once again. Her shaking body, covered in ice cold sweat, reacted to the danger her nightmares had engulfed her in. Every night her demons would haunt her to the point that reality became more bearable. And her reality per se was traumatic enough.

Her eyes remained closed while she took a deep breath. Korra propelled herself up with her arms with difficulty, her lower body completely immobile. She sighed with annoyance. The Avatar, powerful bender of all elements, and such a basic movement had turned into a challenge. She didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the irony of her condition.

She finally opened her eyes, adjusting her vision to the darkness around her. The only source of light came from the window opposite to her bed, the Southern Lights dancing in the sky. It was breathtaking. She wished she was as infinite as those lights, able to go on forever and feel attachment to nothing; they were life and truth. Lights were freedom itself.

With a swift movement of her hand, a small flame ignited from her finger tip. The flickering light was captivating, but it wasn't the same anymore. _She_ wasn't the same. Fire was life, yet she didn't feel any within herself. And with that, the flame was gone. Korra was also infinite at some point, she thought, she had had thousands of past lives. The Avatar legacy and wisdom had lived inside of her, and had lived for generations before her. _Her power used to be limitless._ But she looked down and saw weakness. She couldn't imagine Kyoshi or Roku as cripples.

Her friends and family kept telling her that she was strong, but she noticed the pity in their eyes, they thought she was helpless now. Korra pushed herself towards the edge of the bed and let her feet touch the ground. She could do this, she was going to prove them wrong. She was not weak. _She_ was the Avatar. Air filled her lungs as she concentrated with all her might on standing. Suddenly, pain swallowed her whole as she tried to put pressure on her limbs and her body gave up under her. She let out a scream in defeat, her cheek in contact with the cold ice beneath her, and frustration caused hot tears to stream down her face.

Rage built up inside of her as she dragged her body towards the bed. Her back leaned against the edge while she moved her hands towards her legs to massage them. A burning pain lingered on them and she took slow breaths to stabilize herself, "Fuck," she muttered. She didn't want to move a centimeter after what just happened, but she knew she was in for a lecture if anyone found her like this. She was ordered to stay in bed after all. But who gave them the authority to tell her what to do? This was her problem. It was _her_ pain, and if they couldn't help her out of it, she didn't want to hear any of them.

She reached under her bed to grab a stack of letters from her friends sent some months ago. Korra hadn't read any of them; she did not want to hear how exciting their lives were. She felt jealous of their easy lives and even resented them a bit because of it. She knew it was not their fault at all that she was in this condition, but no one wants to read about adventures when they are stuck in a wheelchair. No one understood what she was going through. She felt completely alone.

She looked through the envelopes to see which one she should read first. There were dozens of them but it was a long night and she knew she would not be able to sleep again. Her eyes scanned one by one " _Asami, Bolin, Tenzin, Jinora, Bolin, Milo, Bolin, Asami, Ikki, Bolin, Bolin, Bolin…"_ she smiled every time she came across Bolin's name. He had kept his word and had sent her countless letters. Immediately she felt a wave of remorse for ignoring his effort. He obviously cared about her, so did the rest of them, and she had been shutting them out for months.

She promised herself she would read every single letter and decided to open the first one from Asami, but as she started to rip the envelope, she spotted one letter from the corner of her eye. Her heart started to beat faster than usual and she could feel her pulse grow stronger in her temple. She did not even know why she was feeling like that but when she saw _his_ name, she froze.

She did not remember receiving this letter at all. And unlike the others, he had sent just one. She understood why; he had never been the best with words and maybe it was uncomfortable for him, and her. But after their breakup, they started to connect in other ways. She didn't need him to say anything because she knew he would always be there. She believed both of them got closure from their relationship, but sometimes it felt like there was something left. However, she did not know what that something was. She had said before that she would always love him, but in what way?

She was scared of all possibilities.

Korra opened the envelope and recognized his tidy handwriting. She felt strangely close to him for a moment, as if she was listening to his voice next to her.

" _Dear Korra,_

 _It feels like years have passed since the last time we saw each other, and I'm sorry for not contacting you before, but I didn't know what to say. I still have no idea what I should say but I want to try. You probably know what the others are up to so I'll tell you a bit about myself. Things are very calm in Republic City at the moment but I've still been busy working almost every day._

 _I also wanted to tell you that I've been having strange dream. Nightmares. Sometimes I even wake up with pain on my legs, but it only lasts for a few seconds. Then it just goes away. I don't know what to make of it, but maybe it's just because I'm under a lot of stress._

 _Your parents have kept us informed about your progress. I can't imagine what you're going through but I'm sure everyone is doing their best to help you. I hope you're holding up, and if anyone can do this, it's you. I know you will get through this._

 _I truly miss you Korra. We all do._

 _Mako."_

Korra felt something inside herself that she could not quite pinpoint. She didn't know if it was sadness or anger or happiness. There was no reason for her to feel any of those after reading the letter, but she felt like her emotions were intensifying somehow. Her body started shaking again and suddenly, weak flames appeared from her fingers, disintegrating the paper she was holding. She gasped.

"For some reason, I expected you to set that on fire." A voice said behind her and Korra did not need to turn around to know who it was. Her body tensed and she skipped a beat.

"Mako?"

* * *

Let me know what you think, it keeps the motivation going.

I promise you, there's a lot of Korra/Mako Interaction coming in the future! Thank you for reading!

Until next time!


	2. II

Welcome back! Thank you for starting this story and I hope this is as entertaining for you as it was for me to write.

 **Summary:** Following the Battle with the Red Lotus, Korra tries to recuperate from the trauma, while dealing with the demons haunting her at night and a surfacing connection with a certain Firebender.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything from the World of Avatar.

 **Rating: T** will sometimes include curse words and possibly non graphic sex scenes.

* * *

" _You have indeed felt a great loss. But love is a form of energy, and it swirls all around us."_

– _ **Guru Phatik**_

* * *

 **II**

There had been many things that Korra had never expected in her short life. And she most certainly did not expect _him_. Any other person could have walked into her room in the middle of the night and she would have shrugged it off, because she could come up with fifteen names of people who had more reason to do so than he did. But the one standing on the door wasn't any of those fifteen, it was him.

Her heart was racing but it was not fear she felt. Or maybe it was. She was never good at identifying her own emotions, and she was particularly bad at acting on them. Korra turned her head to the left and there he was. Mako looked the same as always and it gave her a sense of homesickness that she forgot even existed, because it did not mean she missed a specific place or people. She was theoretically home. It meant she ached for the easiness of a different time period in her life and even for what he once made her feel.

After things burn out, just like a flame, there's a remaining warmth for a while. The body does not forget the heat of that fire. Especially during cold nights, when there is nothing else to protect you from the frozen air. Both of them were fire at some point. But they were also emotionally immature and did not know how to handle the pressure of their lives. It was not their time. They had to learn and grow in order for them to become who they were meant to be. Their fire turned angry and uncontrollable, and eventually, it extinguished. She understood why. However, that did not mean she forgot how alive and bright it was. And in her loneliest nights, it was his warmth that she missed, even if she would never admit it to herself.

Korra must have been starring for a while as his cheeks unintentionally started to turn red, "Isn't it too late for visits?" she asked. A part of her wanted to get closer to him but she remained still. As if she could do otherwise though.

"I didn't think you would pay that much attention to rules anyways," he gave her a small smile but she knew he felt uncomfortable. He had always had trouble emotion-wise, and honestly, he was also slightly awkward. "What are you doing on the floor?"

She opened her mouth, "I was– " but closed it immediately after failing to come up with a quick lie. She smile sheepishly, "Stretching?" Korra didn't mean for it to come out as a question, and if what she said was not a dead giveaway, her tone totally was.

He relaxed at her smile, "Stretching, huh?" His tall figure started to move towards the bed and stopped before he was too close. Korra patted the ground next to her and he followed as he lowered himself to the floor. He was not close enough for them to touch, but enough for her to see every detail of his golden eyes. She had always been intrigued by them and how they looked like fire themselves when he was bending. Mako seemed equally interested in her. She then saw his eyes soften, "How are you, Korra?"

"I'm fine," she assured with a smile. He gave her that look that meant he knew pretty well that she was lying. He was about to speak when she stopped him with her hand against his mouth, "Mako. I'm fine." Korra knew he would not believe that so she tried to change the subject, "What about you? How is the job going?"

"It's been going great, honestly. Every day Republic City feels somewhat safer. But since everyone is doing their own thing, sometimes it feels kind of lonely."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Lonely? She had to stay in bed most of the day and do absolutely nothing, while everyone she knew was _doing great_ and _doing their own thing_. "I can only imagine," Korra replied. But there was a hint of bitterness that she knew he would pick up. She knew she should not feel like that, he was just being honest after all, so she swallowed her annoyance. Her tone changed to a more empathetic one, "What about Bolin? Or Asami? I'm sure they would always make time for you."

"Bolin is in the Earth Kingdom at the moment, they have been trying to stabilize the situation over there. And Asami… Well, you know, Future Industries. She's making a name for herself." He explained. There was no jealousy or resentment in his voice and she wished she could genuinely feel as excited for them as he did. "Don't get me wrong. I've been extremely busy myself. It's not just them."

She nodded and then asked the question that had been burning in her mind for a while, "If you're so busy… Then why are you here?"

He looked at her and she saw something familiar in his eyes, something she knew he would not tell. "I am not sure." Mako tried his best to hide his nervousness.

Korra snorted, "You came all the way to the Southern Water Tribe and you don't have a reason?" She was tired, but not stupid. She knew he was hiding something. "So Beifong just let you have a vacation because you're such an amazing worker. Sure." She laughed sarcastically and she could tell she was getting under his skin already.

He took a deep breath, "We can talk about that another day. You should go to sleep."

"No!" She raised her voice even though he was next to her, "You will tell me. Now."

"Korra." he whispered loudly as he was starting to get annoyed. No one knew he was there yet, and he did not feel like alerting the White Lotus guards who were walking around sometimes. He was not going to get in trouble, but he preferred avoiding that situation if he could. "Could you please be quiet?"

"I can speak as loud as I want," she crossed her arms over her chest but was hard to look intimidating when her legs were extended on the floor. "You can't come into my room and then tell me what to do."

He ignored her comment. Mako knew she was only angry because she hadn't been able to sleep at all lately. Yes, he knew about that. However, he was not going to listen to her exponentially angrier self. He stood up and took her hand, "I'll help you into bed."

She let go of his hand quickly. Korra was perfectly aware of how his touch felt and this was not the best time to think of how their hands molded against one another. She was irritated with him and this room and this bed and this ceiling. Everything. A part of her did know that it was her lack of sleep that was making her act this way, but she did not care. "I don't need your help," she spat.

"Oh really? I would like to see you try on your own!" He crossed his arms, challenging her. Mako did not mean to sound so angry, he was truly worried about her. He knew what she was going through. He _knew_ every detail. As calm and collected as he wanted to be, he was also exhausted. But she did not know that yet.

She shot daggers at him with her eyes, "I don't need to prove anything to _you_ ," there was condescension in her words and even though she did not mean it, she did not take it back either. He noticed that too,

"Says the person who can't even stand!" he yelled at her and as soon as he said it, he regretted it. Immediately afterwards, he saw the hurt and embarrassment in her eyes. He kneeled next to her and started gently, "That came out wrong! I'm so sorr–"

"Leave" she interrupted him while turning her head away. He was just like everyone else, she thought. He saw her as a weak and useless damsel in distress. For some reason, it hurt more that it came from him than it would have if it was someone else.

"Korra–"

"Leave!" and so he did.

* * *

I hope that you guys understand that Mako and Korra are not this angry all the time. I'm sure all of us have said/done stupid things when incredibly tired, so I wanted to show that here.

Anyways, feel free to ask questions, comment or as you wish. I would truly appreciate it.

Thank you again for reading!


	3. III

Hello again!

I wanted to mention that even though this is a Makorra story, it will also focus a lot on Korra's struggle during her recovery. Those flashbacks at the beginning of Book 4 were some of my top favorite scenes from the whole show and I always thought it was very inspirational and real how Korra dealt with a Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.

 **But without further ado, Enjoy!**

 **Summary:** Following the Battle with the Red Lotus, Korra tries to recuperate from the trauma, while dealing with the demons haunting her at night and a surfacing connection with a certain Firebender.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything from the World of Avatar.

 **Rating: T** will sometimes include curse words and possibly non graphic sex scenes.

* * *

" _Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame."_

– _ **Iroh**_

* * *

 **III**

"It's so wonderful to see you again!" the dark skinned woman said with glee as Mako pulled a chair to join the Southern Water Tribe Chief and his family for breakfast. Tonraq sat at the end of the long white table with his wife to the left and Korra closely next to her. The Firebender decided to sit opposite from her, to minimize the tension that he knew would rise between them. After last night, he did not expect any differently. He knew he hurt her and he felt awfully guilty for it but sometimes he could not control his temper. She excelled at getting under his skin, something he had always loved and hated.

A polite smile was directed at the Avatar's mother, "Likewise, Senna." Mako wondered from time to time where Korra got her personality from. Her mother was the most caring person he had ever encountered. She was loving, supportive and patient. She had to be. She raised the Avatar, after all, and not just any Avatar. _Korra._ It's not that she did not share all of those qualities with her mother, Korra had the best characteristics from both her mother and her father. And then there was that goddamn temper that drove him insane.

She was impatient and hot headed and had that act-now-think-next-year attitude, yet he had never met someone more amazing. He could have never imagined someone could be as strong and selfless as she was. She truly inspired him. Sometimes he could not even believe she was real.

Senna's voice snapped him back from his daydreaming moments. _Daydreaming about Korra!_ He thought while scolding himself internally. "Is your brother coming too?" the older Waterbender inquired with genuine curiosity, as her eyebrows raised slightly.

"Hopefully soon."

"Let him know he's welcome here anytime. All of your friends." Senna turned towards her husband, "Isn't that right, Tonraq?"

"Of course." The head of the family nodded his head in Mako's direction before continuing with his meal.

"Thank you, Sir."

"Just remember, you can stay as long as you want." The woman smiled wholeheartedly and placed her hand on top of his for a couple of seconds, to show him that she meant it. Mako believed her completely. Every time he visited, she treated him and their friends as if they were part of her family. She was just that good of person. "I'm sure Korra is very happy that you're here."

Korra scoffed at her mother's words, but he knew that anger was addressed to him only. "Yes," the corners of her mouth moved tightly upwards and the sarcasm was so obvious it was almost palpable "So happy…" she narrowed her eyes while he looked back at her. She was still angry, obviously, but at least she was not hurt anymore. Otherwise, she wouldn't have even met his eyes. He released a breath he did not know he was holding and got back to his food. He would talk to her later.

The family meal continued uneventfully with the parents talking among themselves and every now and then asking Mako questions about his everyday life and Republic City. He appreciated the small talk as he did not think he could sit quietly the whole time with Korra staring daggers at him. He had no idea how the parents did not notice the tension between them. Mako felt as if even he could airbend the hell out of it.

Unknown to him, Korra was enjoying the whole thing. She had a lot of time the night before to think about their outburst and concluded that since they had to live "together" for an indefinite amount of time, it was better if she put that behind. She was furious during that particular moment, just not exactly at him. Okay, yes, she got mad at him, but mostly at herself. She had spent enough time with him to know that he would never intentionally hurt her. Korra was not the most easy-going person either, so she kind of understood where he was coming from. He was just worried about her. And even though she did not need anyone's help, she was glad that it was him who offered it.

After Mako's level of discomfort reached its highest point with her nonstop staring, he had to run away from it, "If I may excuse myself." He faced the parents at the end of the table with an apologetic look, "I'd like to go contact Bolin. He'll be delighted to hear about the invitation." He heard a small chuckle coming from Korra and he immediately squinted his eyes at her. _She was doing this on purpose!_ Korra stuck her tongue out at Mako.

"Baby," he whispered angrily and she laughed. He felt a smile forming on his lips as well, not caring to stop it.

"What was that, dear?" Senna asked.

"Nothing!" he tried to disregard it but his blush gave him away and that arrogant smirk appeared on Korra's face again. "I just need to go, if that's okay."

"Do you know where to go?" the blue-eyed woman in front of him asked with concern, "We'll find a room for you, Mako. I know you both had some catching up to do yesterday but last night's little disturbance–"

Tonraq's spoke up from his seat as he looked at the dark-haired Firebender, "Last night?" They all sensed the suspicion in his tone, "I thought you arrived this morning!"

"How do you know about that?!" Korra whispered loudly at her mother. This could be a dangerous territory. Even if she was nineteen years old, she did not think her father would easily approve of a man being in her room _at night._ Not that that hadn't happened before, but Tonraq did not need to know those. Unless Mako wanted to be in a wheelchair too, that is.

"Know about what?" he demanded louder this time.

"You were not exactly quiet," Senna added sheepishly. The Chief, Mako and Korra choked on their own saliva at the comment. It was a very ambiguous message.

"Mom!" Korra yelled as her face turned red. Mako's porcelain white face, on the other hand, looked like it firebent itself on the inside.

"It's alright honey, I understand. You're going through an emotional time and–"

"I'm not going through an emotional time!" Korra raised her voice in disbelief, her blush deepening. This was probably one of the most awkward situations that she'd had involving her parents.

"I can't listen to this," Tonraq raised his hands in defeat and left the room in a heartbeat.

"Yeah, uhm, I…" Mako stood up from his chair while stumbling all over himself. If she did not feel so embarrassed, she would have actually laughed. Korra had to remember that for later. "I'll find my way around."

"What happened?" Senna blinked a few times in confusion, "They sure got upset about the fighting."

If her legs were working, she would have earthbent a hole right under her and disappeared. "Fighting… Of course," Korra laughed nervously and started to head towards the door. "I'll go meet Katara now."

* * *

"Another small step," encouraged the elder next to the bars.

Korra inhaled deeply and focused on her limbs. She had always thought of herself as strong, she carried her own weight, she could fight her own battles. Now she depended on everyone around her to do the simplest things for her. There is not one thing she enjoyed from it.

Shaking legs would have dragged her to the ground if not for her arms, which pushed her up against gravity. Sweat trailed down her forehead as only source of support gave in to exhaustion. "I can't."

"You can do this," Katara's gentle eyes were full with hope and encouragement. Looking at this woman made Korra feel like she could do anything. Katara had lost so much in her life, yet she was the pure definition of love. It was fascinating. The young Avatar could only hope she was half as happy as her healer when she turned older. "Try to relax."

"How can I relax?!" she cried in exasperation. She let herself fall and soon after, she drove her fists to the ground with such force, she wouldn't have been surprised if her hands couldn't move afterwards. But reason and rationality went out of the window when anger took over. "I can't do anything!" she hit the ground again, "I hate it!" and again, "And I especially hate–" she rapidly pulled her arm back and with the momentum, released a blast of air from her fist, which sent the wheelchair flying until it collapsed against the opposite wall, "–that fucking chair!"

"I know you must feel frustrated–"

"Of course I'm frustrated!" Her eyes started to burn but she refused to let anything come out of them. She was holding her ground today, well, figuratively. "I've been trying for months and all I can do is take a few steps!"

"And your recovery has been going marvelously," Katara kneeled next to the younger bender as the more experienced, loving hands lifted Korra's hopeless face. The old Waterbender stroked her cheek, "You went through a lot, dear. Your body needs time to fully recover."

"The world is moving on without me! I'm supposed to be out there," her hands covered her face in shame. She did not want anyone to see her crying, "I'm the Avatar..."

"Korra, you have become a selfless and strong young woman and also, a great Avatar," she assured with honesty, "You have done some great deeds for this world already, and it will wait for you, because it will always need you. You deserve this time for yourself."

"You're right." But she did not believe it. And she knew Katara was aware of it as well.

"The things that have happened to you, most people could not even imagine. And you have overcome them all. This is another challenge for you. You don't need to prove you're strong enough. All of us already know," her smile extended from her lips to her eyes.

"Thank you, Katara."

"Now, would you like to try again?"

* * *

"I'm sorry about the mess, by the way," Korra rubbed the back of her neck as she looked at the other woman apologetically.

Katara squeezed her hand, "You did well today."

She felt embarrassed to ask but she knew she had to, "Should we call one of the guards to… You know…?" her eyes traveled down her body. She was obviously not going to be able to go anywhere on her own thanks to the wheelchair incident.

"That won't be necessary," the woman stood on the doorway as her eyes twinkled. Korra did not understand why until a familiar face walked in. She could have recognized him from a mile away.

He moved in her direction and held out his hand. Korra could tell he felt hesitant to do so but she reached for him without a thought and he proceeded to lift her body effortlessly. Mako headed outside and she couldn't help but notice how his black hair shone in the sun, or how his Adam's apple nervously moved when golden eyes met blue, or how safe she felt in his arms.

He opened his mouth a few times before actually making a sound, "About yesterday…"

"We're good," she promised as she leaned her head against his chest. "Mako?"

"Yes?"

"How many times did you trip on the way out from the dining room?" She did not turn to see him, but she knew red filled his cheeks again. He did not say anything back, but she could feel his chest vibrating from the laugh he wanted to contain.

And in the middle of the frozen South Pole, Korra thought she felt a distant fire.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this one.

Please leave a review to share thoughts/ideas/opinions/you name it! I would love to hear what you have to say about this chapter.

 **Thanks for reading!**


	4. IV

" _The mind can be a powerful ally, or your greatest enemy_ _._ _"_

– _ **Katara**_

* * *

 **IV**

In her prosperous long life, the aged Waterbender had had the opportunity to experience and witness more than the average person could have ever hoped to achieve. Countless enthralling cities, new people and different cultures were a mere fraction of the adventure that she had engaged with since she was a teenager. Despite the horrors and hardships that had surrounded her during her childhood years, she was able to overcome them and was rewarded with the life that she was always meant to have. Katara had been blessed with a wonderful family and friends, who had made every second in this world worthwhile.

She had also had the honor of meeting, and training, two Avatars in her lifetime.

Aang and Korra, she pondered, were two completely different individuals who had been chosen to follow the same destiny. The reasons behind this selection were indubitable. There was no other person walking on this Earth, who she could have deemed to have a better heart and spirit than those of the two, whom Katara had been lucky to train.

Both had lost and suffered greatly, enduring even the most inconceivable forms of pain. Yet they had never allowed it to break their spirit completely. It was beyond her, how someone could ever possess the inner strength to battle the adversities and tragedies they had encountered and seemed to find ceaselessly.

Said Avatars were indeed different. When Katara met Aang, he was just a child, confused and scared of the unknown world he had just woken up in. The young Airbender had struggled with the physical side of bending; he needed time to master the elements other than his own, and no matter what, he always preferred Airbending. However, he was able to be in contact with his spiritual self, and in the end, he proved how _unbendable_ his spirit was. As he was raised as a Monk, this was not a surprise, but the pureness of his heart stayed as remarkable as ever.

Korra, on the other hand, had demonstrated her comfort with the physical bending styles from a young age. Her enthusiasm to fulfill her Avatar duties was a trait that Aang had not shared with her when he was a boy. She seemed to love action and the ability to bend more than her native element, but ironically, she had difficulty dealing with the spiritual aspect of her training. She struggled to communicate with her past lives, as much as she did to bend the element of freedom.

The Airbender's peaceful demeanor, refusing violence in any way, was a perfect contrast to Korra's impulsive and tough exterior. They were, in perspective, the opposite of each other, but it was the goodness of their soul that made one reincarnate into the other. And every time she saw Korra devoting herself to putting others' needs before hers, Katara couldn't help but notice a glimpse of Aang in her.

The Waterbending Master had watched her husband grow and become an exceptional Avatar, but he had always been an exceptional human being. From one struggle to another, he found peace and balance. Now, she was witnessing Korra go through the same path.

"Well done," praised the white haired woman with a nod of approval, as her pupil went through Waterbending stances in the distance.

The young Avatar had been improving by the day, even if it was not very noticeable to her. But when looking back at when she arrived at the South Pole, the recovery was outstanding. It was still difficult for her to walk, as her energy drained quickly from the effort required, and her legs could not hold the weight of her upper body. Consequently, Korra would walk with a cane and at a very slow pace, but she could walk nonetheless.

As Korra maneuvered carefully to the dance of Waterbending, a commotion broke her concentration and water fell to the ground. She let a deep breath out in frustration. There was a Bending match nearby that she was dying to participate in, but for obvious reasons, she did not even consider trying. The image of a familiar bender moving to the rhythm of his element caught her eye and she decided that she could not continue working with water, when vivid fire was luring her to let herself be consumed by it.

In all honesty, she was completely bored of the calmness and slowness of everything. It had nothing to do with the fact that it was Mako who was firebending, she tried to convince herself.

She turned to her Waterbending teacher with a wide smile. A pleading smile. "Katara–"

In return, the elder chuckled and dismissed her with a wave of her hand, "Go."

Katara had noticed how Korra's mood changed completely since the Firebender arrived a few weeks ago. She was starting to act more like her older self. Slightly less distressed, with a more positive aura. Yes, she also got excessively angry at him from time to time.

But then again, Katara recalled all the times Aang got under her skin too.

* * *

A flying Bison was spotted in the sky making its way to a secure landing area in the South Pole as Korra's smile extended to every pore of her body. It had been a while since she had been this enthusiastic about anything but thinking of having the people who meant the most to her so close, helped fill the empty hole in her spirit, that she had tried so hard to ignore. More than a year had passed since she last saw them, some long painful months.

Mako stood next to her, along with a few others who were also awaiting the arrival of the family of Airbenders. They had a bit of an on and off friendship going, because even though they pushed each other over the edge of insanity, they always found themselves looking for the other. The Firebender had always respected her, but seeing her fight her current condition and wake up every day to continue that battle, built up a feeling of true admiration in him. She was not fighting an external enemy anymore, but an evil within herself. It was fascinating, breathtaking even, to watch that much strength and perseverance coming from one person.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" questioned the blue-eyed girl while eyeing him warily.

Although it was an expected question, he was still caught off guard by it, so he chose to ignore it. He decided to let his hand linger on top of hers for a few seconds before adding, "It's good to see you happy, Korra," she did not look back at him but her lips curved upwards, letting him know that she acknowledged his comment. She did not even try to move her hand either.

The animal's silhouette flew above them until it reached solid ground safely and not one second later, small bodies rushed towards the young Avatar.

"Korra!" the trio yelled in unison as they surrounded her in a tight embrace. Everywhere she looked, there was an Airbender holding onto parts of her body for dear life.

"We missed you so much!" expressed Ikki.

"Yes!" the voice of the boy raised above the other girls', "Can we trade you for Jinora? You come with us, she stays here, Eh?" Meelo tried to convince Korra of his brilliant plan while nudging her on her side and wiggling his pronounced eyebrows, "Everybody wins!"

The young Master narrowed her eyes at her brother, "Hey!"

"Silence, Peasant!" Meelo stuck his tongue out at his older sister.

A tall figure wearing red and yellow Airbender clothing appeared behind them, "Kids, give Korra some space," ordered Tenzin as his children detached themselves from her and continued to greet the rest of their family. "My mother has told me of your recovery, but you look even better than that," he reached out to give her a hug.

"Thank you, Tenzin," she returned the embrace tightly as he patted her back.

"I want to hear more about it. But first, look that way," he promised as he pointed towards the bison and with that, he let go of the embrace and moved towards Katara, Kya and the others.

Korra's eyes followed the direction of his finger and found Mako next her two other best friends. As soon as they met her eyes, they ran towards her.

"You look great!" Asami said wrapping her arms around her friend, "How are you?"

When Korra was about to reply, Bolin pushed Asami out of the way. Her feet left the ground soon after as he lifted her in his arms, while pretending to sob, "I thought I was never going to see you again!" her arms were trapped to her sides as he pushed the air out of her, "I want you to tell me everythi–" the Earthbender released Korra abruptly, running away from her excitedly, "Naga!"

The group laughed wholeheartedly, "It sure looks like he missed _me_ a lot," stressed Korra sarcastically with a smile as her friend played with her polar bear-dog.

* * *

 _She found herself unable to move her arms and legs, which were tied securely with chains, holding her meters above the ground, "_ _Administer the poison," commanded Zaheer standing at the edge of cave. Her breathing became rapid and her eyes desperate as the members of the Red Lotus bent the Mercury towards her body._

 _She prepared herself for the impact of the poison, but she could have never anticipated what it truly felt like. As soon as the silver substance made contact with her skin, burning pain engulfed every millimeter of it. It felt as if she was being skinned layer by layer. She could not fight it. She could never. She did not want to fight it anymore. But as the poison penetrated her, it only got a million times worse._

 _Korra could feel it moving through her veins, filling her whole body. The sensation was excruciatingly unbearable for her. Every bone seemed to be breaking inside of her and her blood felt like acid itself, it was going to eat her alive. Her vision could not maintain the focus of what was happening in front of her anymore and the Avatar State threatened to make its appearance. It was impossible for her to fight it forever._

 _She was slipping away, she knew, the end was coming. Her mind and body begging for her to let go..._

Her eyes opened abruptly, her chest raising spasmodically. Another nightmare. Korra tried her best to calm down for a few minutes, but failed in the process, her breaths turning quicker as the minutes passed. She settled in a sitting position as fast as possible and her eyes moved in every direction, unable to focus on anything. Until they landed on something in front of the door, or _someone._

It was herself.

The doppelgänger stood there, her back slightly hunched, with chains around her wrists. Her eyes shone with the spirit of Raava, but Korra knew there was no light inside whatever this vision was. She felt the temperature of the room drop significantly as the apparition moved towards the bed.

Korra screamed loudly as she desperately sent a whip of water, which turned into ice, in the door's direction. The vision would not go away. Her heart was beating so fast and loud, it was the only thing she could hear. It was pumping horribly like never before. She made her way to the door, panicking more with each step. Dizziness started to kick in, her breaths becoming shorter.

And then she clutched her chest as she slid against the wall.

* * *

 **So… that was Chapter 4.**

I wanted to mention two things:

Firstly, I hope you understand that since Korra's healing process is very long, I had to move forward to a time during which she is already able to walk a little.

Secondly, ever since I watched Book 4, it puzzled me how Korra had poison in her system for almost 2 years until she met Toph, with no symptom other than the psychological trauma. I do understand that she could not walk, but that happened right after the battle. That is why I wanted to address this in the story. I always thought that a poison as deathly as this one could cause some physical damage as well. She's dealing with excessive amounts of stress due to the trauma, and also the substance inside of her. In my mind, she was bound to suffer from something like a "heart attack." However, that will be explained in the upcoming chapter.

In addition, I always thought it would be interesting to add some Real Life Conditions/Diseases to this Avatar world to see how it would work.

 **As always, thank you for reading. I would enjoy hearing your opinion about Korra's current heart situation, but any comments are welcomed as well. If you have any constructive criticism or want to share your favorite/least favorite part of the chapter, feel free to do so.**

 **Until next chapter!**


	5. V

**A/N:** Firstly, I would like to say that the new cover of the story is a painting done by me. It's a contrast between Korra in _Red Lotus Venom_ and _The Battle of Zaofu_ , as I very much admire the growth from one time period to the other. Feel free to share your thoughts on it.

And secondly, enjoy Chapter 5!

* * *

" _Many things that seem threatening in the dark, become welcoming when we shine light on them."_

– _ **Iroh**_

* * *

 **V**

He liked being in control. Maintaining that control. Every aspect of his life, and what he had done in it, was characterized by his attempt to keep that level-headed self-restraint. He did not know how to act any differently. Sometimes he wanted to. Letting go and being carefree was something that he feared, yet envied most of the times. Mako wondered how Bolin could be like that, when he was the complete opposite. He assumed that it was because he abruptly grew out of his childhood stage due to the unfortunate, sudden death of his parents, consuming the joyous boy that he once was.

Expressing his feelings and acting on them seemed as impossible as Waterbending itself. He also felt as if there were kilometric walls built up around him, which would crumble down if he was not careful enough. Personally, it was too difficult to embrace that unrestrained side. Sometimes he was not even sure that he had _that_ side to begin with. However, there were moments, during which even he surprised himself. He felt unbelievably uncomfortable and unlike himself at first when they happened; the walls closing around him, suffocating him. Yet he did not care at all. He felt nothing and everything at the same time. He ignored his discomfort and allowed himself to immerse in his emotions. When did that happen? When he was in love.

And it was all _her_ fault.

She had to come into his life with her carelessness and her hot-headed, uninhibited personality, and turn everything around. They obviously clashed after the first exchange of words. And it only got more heated. But also better.

Most of the times, he wanted to strangle that impulsiveness out of her, stress on the _strangling_ part. She drove him crazy. He actually felt on the brink of insanity at some point. The bricks on his wall were perfectly placed one above the other, and then, she kicked them all down. For fun. His mind could not grasp the idea of being in love with her, and somehow, that was the most exciting part. _She_ was exciting, so different from anything and anyone he had ever had the luck to come across.

He admired the Avatar. Her infinite power was beyond fascinating. And every time he saw eyes ignite with pure white light, unleashing those thousands of years of past lives, he felt unworthy of what he was witnessing. She felt unhuman, superior. Breathtaking.

Yes, he undoubtedly admired the Avatar. But he had loved Korra.

Her selflessness, her courage, her strength. Everything. She was truly amazing, he had told her so. To this day, he could still not believe that he confessed his feelings for her. But when she reciprocated them, he thought, _fuck the wall_. Because he needed none around her anymore. And they were fire, he knew. But after a while, it was too much for him or her to handle. They could barely control their own flames separately; together, it was overwhelming. They needed to grow apart in order to grow up.

He still cared for her though. She was one of his best friends, after all. At least that was his excuse for going to her room tonight. Mako just wanted to make sure she was alright.

He walked quietly around the corridors until he reached her door. His hand moved towards the doorknob, but before he touched it, he heard someone clear their throat behind him. Mako froze on the spot, too scared to turn around. He begged to any spirits out there for it not to be Tonraq.

When he turned around, he found Katara at the end of the hall. An eyebrow raised and a small smirk on her lips. Mako blushed furiously, which only made the Waterbending Master chuckle, "Walk with me," she invited him. He did not see how he could possibly refuse the offer, although he was too embarrassed to actually want to.

Once outside, the elder found a space where they could sit comfortably enough. It was a dark, cold night with no lights visible in the sky. His body naturally reacted to the low temperatures, shivering every now and then, but as a Firebender, he was able to keep himself warm. He wondered how she seemed unaffected by it, but then again, this was her home. She was most certainly used to it by now.

He waited for her to reprimand him, giving the place she found him in, but she did not. Instead, her eyes remained on the ocean, where the water seemed to extend infinitely into the distance. The darkness of the water made him feel uneasy. He felt out of his element, figuratively and literally. And the fact that the sky matched its turmoil, only increased his anxiety.

"You should not fear darkness," remarked Katara, as if reading his thoughts, "Darkness does not diminish beauty," Mako nodded but he was not sure he agreed. He also did not know what to say, since it was the first time they were alone together. The Waterbender looked at him, "Is something troubling you tonight?"

Shaking his head slightly, he answered, "No."

"Is that why you were visiting Korra?" she questioned mischievously. He saw the corners of her mouth purse upwards and he face-palmed internally for being so obvious.

Mako's eyes found the ground, unable to hold the Waterbender's stare.

"She is becoming stronger every day," she assured him. It was like she knew what he was thinking, and it made him feel cautious how she seemed to identify his emotions so easily.

"I know," he whispered hoarsely, "But sometimes, it feels like–" he retreated internally as he reached dangerous territory here. He did not want to voice his worries and fears, especially to someone he did not know well. But for some reason, he felt like he could trust her, like she could understand.

Katara sensed his wariness, reminding her of a young Zuko. "Like you can't help her. She is the _Avatar_ ," he nodded again, "Do you think she needs your help?" It was not a condescending question at all, but an open one. She was genuinely interested in his response and he appreciated it.

"I don't know," he admitted.

"Sometimes we forget that these powerful human beings are just that, human beings," she paused. Mako knew that even though she referred to Korra, Aang was also included in her words. "She suffers just like you and I do."

"She would never admit that though," he laughed humorlessly.

Katara smiled, ignoring the sarcasm in his laugh, "Korra can be very proud and stubborn."

He snorted, "Understatement."

"Asking for help is difficult for her," Katara placed her hand on his shoulder, and he tried his best not to flinch at the strange contact, "She doesn't want to show weakness."

She directed her eyes to the water again and they fell in silence for a few minutes. His awkwardness started to rise once more as he pondered if this was her way of telling him to leave. He decided against it.

"There's something else–" he opened and reopened his mouth to continue but hesitated. Mako was unsure whether he should tell her about this or not. But he had to tell _someone_. The old Master nodded without diverting her gaze from her element, acknowledging his voice, "I'd been having these dreams…"

He tried to explain everything that he had kept to himself for months. He remembered waking up every night back in Republic City, shaking, sweating. He hadn't had just any nightmares. They were Korra's nightmares. He saw her fighting Zaheer again, but it was not from the rocky mountain where he stood at the time, he was seeing the battle through Korra's eyes. _He was Korra._ Every time she hit the ground, every time Zaheer struck her, Mako felt it. And once the air was being forced out of her body, he felt like he was dying too. He would wake up gasping for air, but in reality, he was not affected by it.

Then there was the poison nightmare. In his waking life, he had never experienced and never even imagined experiencing that amount of pain. The Mercury felt like it was burning his skin open, ripping every bone from its socket. It was unbearable. He wished that he could die every single time. The difference is, his eyes would open in his bedroom in Republic City and his body would not feel anything other than the leftovers of his imagination. Korra had to go through it.

And he had never worshipped her more than he did after the first time he dreamt of the poison. The venom should have killed her, yet she was able to fight it. He always knew she was strong. But _that…_ That was another level of strength.

"What do these dreams mean?" he asked quietly, but his desperation was detectable.

Katara processed what he had told her, and after a few seconds, she said, "Aang once told me that, back in the day, as he tried to master the Avatar state, he had to let go of his Earthly attachments," Mako interest peaked at the mention of the deceased Airbender, "and in the process of doing so, he had a vision of me in Ba Sing Se. I was in great danger. So he abandoned his spiritual training to save me. He could not let go of me."

The Firebender could not fully understand the story, but he saw the relation, "So, I was having those dreams because Korra was in some kind of danger?"

"Perhaps," the Waterbender began with a nod, "Perhaps Korra was trying to reach you. Bring you here."

His eyes blinked repeatedly, "She doesn't seem to remember that."

"Sometimes, we have spiritual connections with certain people beyond our comprehension. Beyond our _permission_ ," Katara argued while standing from her seating position, "Korra is a strong woman. But she's going through a dark period. When surrounded by darkness, don't we all just need light?" she asked rhetorically as she walked away, but not before adding, "And remember, _fire_ is light."

After Katara's silhouette disappeared into the building, the Firebender reflected on her words. What she had said… It made sense. He wanted to believe it. But he was too scared to accept the idea and the meaning behind her argument.

He stayed there for what seemed like forever, his body even forgetting the cold of the night. Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by hasty footstep sounds, which seemed to come from all around him. People running. His alerted eyes found the White Lotus Guards rushing towards the place where Katara had spotted him earlier that night. Korra's room.

And with that realization, Mako bolted.

* * *

Asami was woken up by screams, her mind still confused by the abrupt disturbance. She realized soon after that the noise was coming from the room next door. Fear crept up on the black haired girl as she thought of whose screams those were. She did not pay attention to running around in her night garments, only to getting to Korra's room. The two girls had started their friendship on the wrong path as they were interested in the same person, but that was forgotten. They moved pass that resentful stage and became best friends in the process.

As soon as she opened the door, her eyes landed on the Avatar. The dark skinned girl was holding her weight against the wall with one hand, although she was already on the floor, while the other clutched her chest. Asami hurried to her side, "Korra!" she held the unresponsive girl's face between her hands, slapping her hard enough to get a reaction out of her.

Korra's eyes slowly fluttered a couple of times, her breathing hectic. In spite of the pain she was feeling, she managed to murmur a word, "Katara."

The non-bender darted towards the end of the corridor, until she ran into a Guard. He saw the panic in her eyes, "It's the Avatar!" she announced franticly, "Get Katara! Everyone!"

* * *

The Future Industries owner laid Korra on the floor. During her teenage years, she had attended several lessons such as self-defense, but most importantly, first-aid. Her father believed that she needed to be able to protect herself and others, and boy, was she thankful for those instructions now.

The girl was not showing any signs of consciousness, making Asami decide to put her knowledge into practice. She angled Korra's head to check for breathing, and had no luck. Subsequently, Asami grabbed her wrist for pulse indication. Granted she felt like an eternity had come and gone before she felt the first weak pulse, the former Sato heiress hoped that the heartbeats were somewhat frequent enough.

Asami place a hand right in the center of Korra's chest, quickly followed by the other. And then she started the compressions as if her own life depended on it. _Push, push, push._ Trying to keep her composure, she moved onto the next step. She tilted the Avatar's head and lifted her chin up to clear her airway and proceeded to pinch her nose. Taking a deep breath, she leaned towards Korra until their mouths connected, pushing the air from her body to her friend's. Even though she was able to go through the process efficiently, she was still terrified on the inside.

It wasn't until the second time that she exhaled into Korra's mouth, that people started piling into the room. Asami did not let herself get distracted by the increasing noise until Katara kneeled next to her. The Waterbender's eyes were wide open and alerted, "What happened?" she asked hurriedly.

Asami started the third set of compressions, answering the question without her field of vision leaving the Avatar, "I think she had a heart attack! She is not waking up!" Katara hurried towards Korra's head and with a move of her hands, a halo of water appeared from a canteen she had attached to her coat. Placing her hands against Korra's temples, she concentrated on the liquid. The water gave the Healing Master an insight on the unconscious girl's current condition, and it was not good.

Katara stood up and faced the worried audience. They were looking at her expectantly, and she knew they had a thousand questions brewing in their minds, but she had time for none, "Her pulse is very faint," everyone's faces looked as if the air was pushed out of them, they knew what that meant, "We need to act now."

There was a collection of questions, crying and screaming. Toraq's voice immediately overpowered the rest, "What can we do?!" he asked loudly in frustration, "This is my little girl!"

The Waterbender's face softened as she felt the suffering in the father's voice. At any other time, she would have been more sympathetic, but time was running out, "Kya!" she called out for her daughter, who was assisting Asami. The daughter moved quickly towards Katara, "Do you remember what you read about lightning generation?"

Kya's eyes widened at the implication, "Mother, it's too dangerous–" but the look on Katara's face showed that it was not up for discussion. The daughter turned back to the Avatar's parents and the golden-eyed Firebender, "It is said that electricity can stabilize an irregular heart rate. And Korra's is not looking well."

"You want to electrocute my daughter?" the Chief of the Water Tribe gasped at the thought, "Will this work?"

"It is not certain," Katara looked at him apologetically, "I witnessed a very talented Firebender do something like this once. But it was dangerous indeed," she agreed with her daughter's previous statement. She remembered traveling around the world, learning numerous healing techniques from different cultures. She learned a lot in her prime; there was a reason people believed her to be the best healer alive.

There was nothing else they could do, they knew. Time was precious. "We should get one of the White Lotus members," Senna suggested desperately.

Katara shook her head, "I believe someone else should do it," the group followed her gaze until they landed on the tall Firebender. The little color left was drawn from his already pale face. "Mako, listen to me–"

"You can't possibly think this could work!" he shook his head harshly, "I can't do it," the mere thought of their suggestion baffled him, _were they absolutely out of their minds?!_ He knew he would never be able to do this. This was madness.

Katara grabbed the young man by the shoulders, "Mako!" she raised her tone, waking him up from his trance. For a second, everyone, including him, was perplexed by her uncommon outburst, "You must."

"I–"

"There is no time," interrupted Katara softly. Mako buried his face in his hands as the pressure started to engulf him.

As much as he wanted to refuse, he could not. The Fire Ferrets Captain just nodded and went to kneel next to Korra. He could not feel his legs anymore. He could not feel anything. All he could see was her, lying on the cold ground. It took everything in him not to break down and give up. But he could not do that to _her_.

Katara explained the procedure to a White Lotus Metalbender who had to do the wiring for the lightning generation to work. It felt like hours had passed since they first entered the room, but it was barely over 6 minutes. The once chaotic room turned into dead silence.

The Waterbender and the Metalbender stood next to Korra. Katara untied the Avatar's robe and tore her top in order to expose the chest. Mako's pale complexion crimsoned, cursing inwards. _Was it even possible to blush this much?_ His utter embarrassment was soon replaced by stress as the White Lotus Guard bent a wire into a Y shaped cable. Two ends were placed on Korra's chest: one end above her right breast, the other below her left one. The loose end was attached around Mako's index and middle finger. They were ready.

"Mako, listen carefully," the white-haired Waterbender penetrated him with her blue eyes, "You need to control yourself and regulate the voltage. I've been told you have done this before," he nodded, even though he could not see clearly anymore and her voice was turning less audible by the millisecond, "You need to understand the power of your own lightning. Let the energy pass from you, through one end–" she pointed to the right side of the wire, "to her chest, and back out the other end. Can you do this?"

He closed his eyes. The Firebender had felt scared before. Scared for his life, his brother's, his city, the unknown. But when it concerned _her_ , he felt like his sanity was shredded away from him completely. When Korra was kidnapped by Tarrlok, Mako felt pure terror, just like now. His vision started to blacken, he was losing his grip, but then he heard Katara's voice somewhere, perhaps in the room or at the back of his mind.

 _When surrounded by darkness, don't we all just need light?_

He inhaled and exhaled. The Firebender synchronized his arms, energy moving from left to right.

 _Fire is light._

And lightning collided with Korra's skin.

* * *

 **A/N:** This chapter was particularly interesting to write, especially the part about CPR and Electro-shock (defibrillation). I hope that you enjoyed the mix between bending and real life medicine techniques. I would also like to apologize for any technical inaccuracies, I tried my best to make it work.

 **I would like to know your opinion, comments, etc. Please leave a review!**

 **Thank you for reading.**


	6. VI

Welcome!

I hope you guys remember some information and characters that first appeared in Avatar: The Last Airbender (Guru Pathik is very important in this chapter). Also, A shout out to _StevenBodner_ for his suggestion on a special detail in this chapter.

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

" _Tui and La, the moon and ocean, have always circled each other in an eternal dance. They balance each other. Push and Pull. Life and Death. Good and Evil. Yin and Yang."_

– _ **Koh, the Face Stealer**_

* * *

 **VI**

" _You have indeed felt a great loss. But love is a form of energy, and it swirls all around us."_

Blue eyes opened, searching for the source of the soothing voice, only to be met by the dim light of an oil lamp.

Her body stirring, waking up from a supposedly long slumber, her vision out of focus. Taking a few seconds to recompose herself, she practiced her breathing exercises. Korra felt weaker than usual, something she believed was impossible, giving her already beaten condition. She had been used to feeling pain by now, both psychologically and physically. She had fought enough battles, enough enemies, and enough demons to be staggered by any new form of pain.

But this time was different.

She was not fighting someone or something this time. She was not fighting at all. Her body itself was shutting down in order to prevent her from stumbling into any fight she thought she could handle. She was the Avatar, but all of her inhuman, limitless strength was still shielded by a human body. Her spirit molded by tens of predecessors, her power surpassing human boundaries. She was detached from this earth by her spiritual supremacy, yet tied to it by her restrictive flesh and blood.

Korra had a life purpose, worldly duties, which had been trusted upon her by Raava, the Light Spirit she could no longer reach. But despite the title and power that came along with it, she was almost as vulnerable as any other mortal. She forgot that sometimes. It seemed surreal how she could still be affected by physiological malfunctions, but she could and she was.

When she faced Vaatu and Amon, she had been stripped of her deity. Her enemies had reached deep within her and taken her identity, turning her into nothing. Her Avatar-self had been destroyed before her eyes, while she witnessed motionless.

And then there was the Red Lotus.

They did not only want to annihilate her, but also every spirit that would succeed her until the end of time. Somehow, she was still alive in spite of the venom _. Barely_. And after every attempt towards her destruction, she was still here. Even though the connection to her past lives was lost forever, she had recovered her bending, she had found Raava before, and she was able to walk again.

The difference between those times and her current situation was the element of surprise. The sapphire-eyed girl had watched her back against every threat; she had an idea of what her enemies were capable of. She _had_ the chance to be scared. But this… She had not expected her heart to fail when it did. Even as her breathing became rapid and her chest beat frantically, she could still not tell that she was in danger until the very end.

She protected herself against physical foes, but she had ignored the fact that she was also a danger to herself. Her exhausted chest was proof enough. Korra opened her robe slightly, observing the gruesome scars that displayed across her torso.

"Do they hurt?" a soft voice spoke from the doorway. The Water Tribe girl met the eyes of her Waterbending Master, shaking her head slightly, "I healed the burns, they will fade away soon enough," she promised as an apologetic smile spread on her aged face.

"Katara, I–" the Avatar's face was buried in her face as she sighed, "How long have I been out?"

The elder moved towards the bed, sitting gently on the edge to avoid disturbing her former student, "A few hours," as she saw Korra's panicked face, she clarified, "Not more than a day. You woke up a few times."

"Oh?" a puzzled expression decorated her face as she scratched her head for information. "I don't remember waking up."

"That's understandable."

"But–" Korra proceeded to tug at her tangled hair in exasperation, "What happened? Does everyone know about this? Are my parents freaking out? Where did my shirt go? How did I get these burns? _Spirits_ , did I set myself on fir– "

Her rant was interrupted by a dulcet laugh coming from the Waterbender, "One question at a time, dear," The stubborn girl's lips pursed into a pout, arms crossing against her chest, "For some reason, your heart was unable to pump blood properly last night. Therefore, you had this episode," Katara explained.

"Was it really bad?" Korra asked, but she already knew the answer. She remembered a panicked Asami kneeling next to her, green eyes revealing the true danger that she had experienced a few hours before. Her healer's eyes wore the same expression right now, "You healed me?"

In return, the elder shook her head, "You know Waterbending has its limits when it comes to internal wounds," the Avatar nodded. She did know that healing could only help so much, but she couldn't think of anything else that could've pulled her back from the brink of death. "But you're also aware of other healing methods. Water is not the only source of life."

Korra's fingers trailed down her neck, tracing the temporary scars on her chest. Her blue eyes widened in realization, "Lightning."

"Yes."

The young woman, more confused than ever, rubbed her hands against her temples, "How?"

"There was a very skilled Firebender," Korra did not need her to announce his name. It was fascinating how the two could communicate without words sometimes. They had learned from one another, gotten used to each other. One look at her teacher's face was all it took for her to guess the identity of her savior.

"Wow," it was all the brown-haired woman could say. She was truly, completely, undeniably impressed. It was not that she thought Mako was not talented. He had always been. But what he did took more than physical strength and discipline. Lightning generation required a peaceful state of mind, and she could not even imagine anyone being collected in a life or death situation such as that one, "Why him?"

"Why not?" Katara's white eyebrows perked up in amusement, "Would you trust any other Firebender with your life?"

It was a very straightforward question, but Korra could read between the lines. It was not about bending abilities nor inner strength. Talent played no role, it was simply about trust, "Never."

They were in silence for a moment before Korra spoke up again, "Katara, about last night–" she opened and reopened her mouth as she considered the reasons behind her sudden attack. Memories of her Avatar State Doppelganger and horrid dreams filled her mind, "I've been meaning to talk to you about it."

The white-haired woman gave her a reassuring nod, placing the back of her hand against Korra's cheek, "I know," and she truly did. The Waterbender recalled her conversation with the young Firebender. She was certain that if he was having those nightmares, it meant that the Avatar was going through a similar process, only worse. "And I want to hear about it tomorrow. But you have visitors now."

Both women held each other for a couple of seconds, the eldest softly patting the other on the back. As soon as Katara left the room, the door flung open as two familiar faces ran towards the bed, pressing the air out of her chest in a tight embrace. Unlike her last chest pain, this was a welcomed one. This was home.

"Mom, Dad," said a chuckling Korra, "I'm alright."

* * *

He found it impossible to sleep that night. Tossing and turning for hours, frustrating him to no end, until his vision settled on a fixed spot on the ceiling. His mind restless, his body aching. The Firebender shifted his gaze to the left of the room, meeting the image of his sleeping brother. He envied the way Bolin could fall asleep like a rock, no matter what or where, while on the other hand, Mako had to deal with his relentless consciousness.

The Southern Lights illuminated his room, washing over his uncovered upper body. Golden eyes traveled down his right arm, landing on a grisly red mark. He knew they matched _hers_. But instead of the arm, hers were located across her chest.

The bizarre events from the night before replayed in his mind, causing him to hold his arm unconsciously.

He had done it. She was alright again. The electric current had abandoned his right arm, passing through the wire until it had reached Korra. Her torso had jumped up at the contact, his full attention on the flowing cold-blooded fire. Katara's encouraging words were buzzing in his ears, words he could barely hear. It was working.

But then it didn't.

Something had happened, he could not tell what it was. As he prepared himself for the lightning redirection, his limbs stiffened, his vision paralyzed. He was unable to move even as he felt the wave of power burn its way out of his body. He felt nothing.

His surroundings had subsequently melted into a blue abyss, matter dissolving into nothing. His body, weightless, levitating on the cosmic void. In front of him, a mirror-like, segregating wall; his own image reflecting before him. A glowing turquoise light tinted his skin, filling his very spirit with tranquility. He felt immortal, invincible and invisible. As light as the air he breathed, as unbounded as the sky itself. He was aware of every sensation, yet he felt nothing at all. He was infinite.

He observed his reflection morph into a different form then. The body shortened, hair lengthened, curves deepened, fiery eyes turned into water. Mako could no longer see himself, but he found Korra in his place.

The eyes of the woman before him started to shine with a blinding light of Raava, engulfing him into darkness. Behind Korra, rows of bodies solidified, light shining from every face. Blue, yellow, red, green clothes adorned the mass of deities. "You have indeed felt a great loss," every individual mouthed simultaneously, but the only voice heard, belonged to the Light Spirit itself.

The setting shifted rapidly; different Avatars, different people, different places rotating in his field of vision.

Wars, death, grief materialized in sequences. He could see benders falling in battle, families mourning loved ones, blood staining clothing. Every new scene, every victim, became more saddening than the one before. Pain and suffering stretching over thousands of years since Wan.

An Avatar, dressed in blue and polar bear fur on his head, slammed the ground below him as he learned that the love of his life was taken from him by Koh. The Face Stealer, a horrendous centipede-like Spirit, had added the woman to his collection in order to punish _Kuruk_ for his past arrogance. He screamed into the pond where his love had vanished, cursing at the merciless Spirit.

The water in the pond vaporized, transforming into lava smoke. There was a Firebender, gasping for air, holding on the thin thread between life and death on the edge of a Volcano. Desperation and hopelessness evident in his eyes. His home, his love, his family, his people were detaching themselves from him as he succumbed to the welcoming arms of death. And just before _Roku_ took his last breath in this world, a majestic dragon surrounded him, protecting him from the rocky avalanche.

The smoke cleared to reveal a young boy, an Airbender covered in arrow tattoos from head to toe. _Aang._ He fell to his knees as he found the bones of his deceased friend, Gyatso, in the Air Temple. Tears escaped his eyes uncontrollably, burying his face in his hands. Devastation caused him to enter the Avatar State, his inner self sensing the agony that threatened to destroy his own spirit.

The light of Raava consumed his body, fading only to disclose a female form being held by chains inside a cave. Deafening screams filled up the grounds as the venom penetrated her body. Every muscle tensed at the painful impact, twisting harshly against the strong platinum.

The vision then extended into pieces of Korra's life. The once strong woman collapsed on the edge of a glacier, tears cascading down her cheeks after her bending had failed to be restored. Everything that she thought defined her was stolen from her. What she had worked her entire life for, what she was meant to be, over. She was no longer Avatar Korra, she had no purpose, no value, _nothing_.

Korra's silhouette shrunk, her complexion changing into an 8 year old Mako.

He was back in Republic City, watching the Police as they covered the dead bodies of his parents. He held his little brother in his arms and sobbed quietly. His innocence was ripped from him when he had witnessed the attacker take the lives of the people he loved the most. Those who had promised to protect him and never abandon him. And they had, even though they did not have a choice. He had cried until he was unable to shed another tear. Misery burned inside of him, setting the joyous child he was on fire and turning him into ashes.

Suddenly, the despair and suffering misted up, the fog shaping itself into a human body. An old man floated with his legs crossed, beard reaching his thorax.

" _You have indeed felt a great loss,"_ Guru Pathik said comfortingly, _"But love is a form of energy, and it swirls all around us. The Air Nomads' love for you has not left this world. It is still inside of your heart, and is reborn in the form of new love._ _"_

A waft of air vanished the image of the Guru, the setting evolving once again. This time, tears, destruction and pain were nowhere to be seen.

An Air Nomad kissed a Water Tribe woman softly, her blue eyes sparkling with happiness. Two boys and one girl were running around the Avatar and his wife, playing and laughing.

The three children morphed into their older selves. One of them, dressed in red and yellow robes, his forehead adorned by a blue arrow that traveled down his neck. Tenzin's body then transformed into the current Avatar's, also carrying the Air Nomad colors.

Her loving laugh danced with the wind as Jinora, Ikki and Meelo tackled her in a hug during Airbending practice. Even though they shared no blood, those kids were her family.

The vision progressed with Korra's memories. Flashbacks with her parents, Katara, her Masters, her friends. Despite her suffering and everything that she had been through, there was still love in her life, growing stronger every day.

Korra's Airbending clothes tinted blue, growing into a thick fur coat. The ground below crystallized, turning once more into a South Pole glacier. She was running towards him, ecstatic thanks to her new found spiritual connection with her Avatar self and her recovered bending. After confessing her love for him, the distance between them had closed. Their mouths pressed on the other, moving rhythmically as they held each other, expressing every emotion that had been trapped in their unconscious minds. She smiled genuinely against his lips.

Without a warning, her blue eyes ignited, the light of the Avatar Spirit blinding the young Firebender.

It was then that Mako was brought back to reality, to the room where he had generated the lightning. His eyes snapped open, his breathing chaotic, adjusting to the physical world. In front of him, Korra had mimicked his actions. The other people in the room tried, and failed, to calm her down. Only when her eyes locked with his, was she able to give in to slumber.

Overwhelmed by everything he had seen through his momentary connection with Korra, Mako left the room in a heartbeat, running as fast and as far as his legs could take him.

The porcelain-skinned man had disappeared for hours, needing some time on his own to process everything. He returned to his chambers a day later, when everyone was already asleep, to avoid questions, to avoid looks, to avoid everything.

He was not sure whether or not he wanted to avoid _her_.

He closed his eyes one last time in his bed, hoping for the spirits to grant him at least one peaceful night. Unbeknownst to him, a silhouette was making its way from the door to his bed. Shyly removing the blankets, the intruder filled the empty spot next to him.

But it was not as unbeknownst to him as _she_ thought.

He said nothing.

Neither did she.

In fact, they did not want to hear anything at all. His arms slid around her waist, pulling them closer, and not too soon after, his eyelids fell heavily against his will.

* * *

 **A/N:** I have to admit that it was very enjoyable (but difficult) to write about past Avatars, since I hadn't watched ATLA in a while.

 **When Mako sees Korra in his reflection, think of Book 4, as Korra saw herself turn into Kuvira.** So, Mako witnessed her (supposedly broken) connection with Korra's past lives after his lightning hit her. And yes, there is a reason why he had to see it. The visions included Avatar Kuruk, Roku, Aang, Korra herself, and of course, Guru Pathik, the old man who tried to teach Aang how to open his chakras and master the Avatar State. The transition from one vision to the other also took some work, but hopefully it was clear enough.

More questions will be answered in upcoming chapters.

 **Please leave a review! Feel free to share opinions, suggestions and so on. I would love to hear what you have to say so far, especially about Mako's visions.**

 **Until Chapter 7, thank you for reading.**


	7. VII

" _If a fish lives its whole life in this river, does he know the river's destiny? No! Only that it runs on and on out of his control. He may follow where it flows, but he cannot see the end. He cannot imagine the ocean."_

– _ **Jeong Jeong**_

* * *

 **VII**

She wanted to drive him crazy.

Of that, he had no doubt. She had always done such things that made him reconsider her state of mind. It was as if she had made it her life mission to push him off the edge of insanity. But she did not try, she did not put effort. She was just naturally good at it. However, it was not what she did that surprised him, but the fact that he had allowed (and continued allowing) her to do so. Not only did he let her kick her way under his skin, but he had often enjoyed it. Why? Sometimes he did not know, and sometimes, he was afraid because he knew too well.

Since the moment he first tried to get to know her, he was certain that there was something about her. Intriguing, exciting, fascinating. It had nothing to do with _what_ she was, but _who_ she was. To any observer, she was the almighty Avatar before anything else; but he liked to believe that, to him, she had always been just Korra.

Reckless, hot-headed, arrogant, spoiled Korra. And although she was not like that anymore, who really cared about said traits, when her selflessness was so awe-inspiring? She was kind, caring, brave, and she was, despite her deity, _human_. He knew he would have to live a thousand lifetimes before he met someone as compassionate as she was. If there could ever be another one like her.

Eventually, he had realized that there was not something about her. It was _every single thing_ about her. She was air, water, earth and fire. Regardless of her ability to bend all elements, she was still the incarnation of the elements themselves.

To this day, she could still affect him without even intending to. His inner self cringed at the thought of her having that much control over him, control she did not even know she possessed. Because she did, obviously and undeniably, and she had unconsciously taken advantage of that dominance and had crawled her way into his bed the night before.

Mako could lie and counter that he did not have the strength to tell her to go back to her room, since she was ill, and that was probably what he would say if asked. But he knew better, and so did she. He did not ask her to go away, not out of pity, but because he wanted her to stay.

Instead of denying himself the pleasure of holding her, he had melted into her skin. It was something he had missed, the way she felt against him. There was a familiar warmth and softness to it, bringing him back to the past when they used to whisper loving words in bed before sleeping or engaging in _other_ activities.

Last night was something else. She did not come to him for romantic reasons. There were no midnight confessions nor affectionate gestures, at least none other than the lack of space between them. She was there for comfort. Whether that was related to love or not, he did not want to think about it.

Korra needed him as a safety blanket, and honestly, he did as well. He would never accept nor admit it, but a part of him needed her like air. And he knew that fire, without oxygen, burned out.

Giving her explosive personality, no one would have guessed that she would have been a peaceful sleeper. But she was, if last night was proof enough. She was peaceful in the sense that she made him feel at ease. He had been unable to sleep properly for months, and her mere presence was all it took for his worries and fears to evanesce.

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden noise, golden eyes shooting open, " _Psst!_ " he heard, "Mako!" On the neighbor bed sat his brother, hands covering his mouth and green eyes widening at the sight in front of him.

Bolin's mouth hung open as if he had seen a two-headed dragon, "There's an Avatar on your bed!" he whispered loudly. His eyebrows wiggled as he questioned, "Did you two have–" gasping, he pretended to be shocked, "Wait a minute! I was here the whole night!"

The Firebender's white complexion reddened deeply at the accusation, "We didn't do anything!" he detached himself from the sleeping girl and walked towards his brother, yanking him by the collar and leading him to the door, "Be quiet, will you?" eyes darted in the brunette's direction.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wouldn't want to do something _inappropriate_ ," the younger brother's lips turned into a smug smile as he stressed the last word, and Mako wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his face.

The 20 year-old growled in frustration, hands gripping his black hair, "I already told you. We didn't–"

"I'm just saying," he winked, "It would be great if you guys did–"

"Bolin!"

"Fine!" he held his arms up, surrendering. He pushed his mouth into a pout, rocking himself on his feet, "So…"

"Leave!"

"Spirits, alright!" the Earthbender muttered-yelled in exasperation, but the wicked grin on his face gave him away, "Asami is going to love this!" and before Mako could protest, his brother ran out of the room.

Closing the door behind him, the Firebender placed his forehead against the hard material and released a sigh. He had never been one for spotlights when displays of affection were concerned, and even though it was just his brother, it was still somewhat embarrassing. He could already picture a giggling Asami and Bolin… Well, being typical Bolin. If this continued, his blush would get permanently imprinted on his face.

Someone cleared their throat in the room, snapping Mako out of his brooding thoughts, his field of vision landing on the dark-skinned girl. She ran her hands through her messy hair, as she said innocently, "You do know that he still thinks we–" the Avatar's index finger motioned back and forth between the two of them.

"We didn't!" he grunted in response.

Her eyes sparkled as her laughter filled the room, "Mako, don't you think I am aware of that?" she asked rhetorically, "Unless I was asleep."

The Firebender's palm hit his forehead, his face reaching a dangerously dark shade of red. He decided to ignore her comment, "Were you awake the whole time?"

"Probably even before you woke up."

His eyebrows perked up with curiosity, "Why didn't you say anything?"

It was her time to flush, her hand pushing a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. It was unusual to see her blush, she tended to be confident and bold, with that side of I-fear-nothing kind of swagger. But when it came to intimacy, the young girl in her shone through. Yes, she was definitely more emotionally open than Mako, but sometimes, this shyness would rise and leave him speechless because it was just _so not Korra._

"I didn't want to–" she gave him a weak smile, and he could _see_ her mind trying to come up with a believable excuse, "–disturb you." She chuckled lightly, Mako following soon after. But their eyes locked for a moment and he knew what she had attempted, and failed, to hide.

He could have sworn that he stopped breathing for hours, sinking and drowning in the blue of her eyes. He hated it, because he knew that they were blurring a line that they had so carefully tried to build after their breakup. He was not willing to cross it, yet he found that the boundary was becoming less and less visible every time he saw her.

Not knowing what to say, he just stood there, unable to break the eye contact. Her cheeks were still tinted red and her hands fidgeted against her legs. Obviously, she had not considered the aftermath of her sleepover. But in her mind, it was worth it.

He agreed.

"About the other night," she began, her voice lowering with every syllable, "I wanted to thank you."

"Oh," was all he could answer.

"I don't know what else to say. What you did–" her eyes dropped to the floor, but he could see the respect and admiration in them, "That was amazing," Korra patted the spot next to where she was sitting on the bed, and the dark-haired man moved towards it, almost cautiously.

When they were side by side, the brunette brought his arms over his head like a child. He wore a puzzled expression before she cleared his confusion, "Katara told me that you didn't get that healed," she pointed at his right arm, where the grisly red mark was located. Placing her hands on his shirt, she looked up at him while biting her lip nervously, "May I?"

The Firebender tried to say something, anything, but the words died in his throat. He remained still, Korra taking this as an invitation to tug at his shirt, pulling it over his shoulder, careful enough not to touch his wound. Her hands danced with the wind, as water appeared from a canteen close by, following her movements in a circular pattern.

As soon as the cold liquid came into contact with his arm, he sucked in a deep breath at the stinging pain. However, the discomfort was soon replaced by a soothing sensation. A moan escaped his lips, as the scar started to vanish.

"Feeling better?" her grin could be _heard_ in her question. If he was not in such a calm trance provided by the glowing water, he would have narrowed or rolled his eyes at her.

After she finished, her hands returned to her legs. Mako stared at the remainder of his injury, but it only reminded him of her matching ones on her torso. Returning his shirt to its original place, he pondered, "How is your chest?"

"Katara took care of it," she explained, pulling her shirt slightly to the side, exposing the fading spots above her breast, "The skin will go back to normal soon. So will yours."

"Thanks," he rubbed the back of his neck.

Golden eyes met blue again. She was looking at him in that way that made him feel immortal, like he could see and live through her, her story and that of those who lived before her. Everything that made her who she was, was tattooed on those two turquoise orbs that consumed him.

"Mako," exhaling loudly, she addressed the topic that he had ignored until now, "The moment the lightning hit my body, something happened. I can't remember what exactly, but I _feel_ something."

The dark-haired man looked away from her gaze, he did not want to hide the truth from her, but he had to. At least for the time being. It was selfish of him to do so, he was aware of it, but he needed time. This was a delicate topic. He could not even understand the events of that night himself. If he were to tell her now, it would complicate her condition, and also, the friendship they had been barely able to sustain.

The connection to Raava and her past lives had been lost for a long time, and he knew that this was something she longed. He would never take that from her forever, he promised himself he would tell her. But this was not going to speed up her recovery, only frustrate her. She was still physically weak; she could not deal with the spiritual predicament simultaneously.

The images he had witnessed during their spiritual encounter meant something. Apart from the fact that Korra was still somehow linked to her predecessors, there was a reason Raava showed him those memories. He did not know why, but he had an idea. It was as if strings were being tied around the two of them, bringing them closer by the minute without their consent. He could feel it, as he fought against it every day. Mako was never one to believe in the soulmate theory but this was excessively played by destiny, and who knows what else, and he could not help but wonder.

"Maybe you should talk to Katara about it."

She blinked a few times at his suggestion, "This has nothing to do with Katara."

"Then what is it?"

"About you!"

He buried his face in his hands, unable to stare back at her, "There's nothing to talk about."

"There were visions. I know that," her voice was desperate, but she tried to hold her ground, "If you saw something–"

"We can talk about it another day," he promised, closing his eyes. If he kept looking at her, he was going to ruin everything. He stood up from the bed, turning his back on her.

The Avatar removed herself from the bed with difficulty, stepping in front of him with hands on her hips, "This could explain so much, because we–"

"There is no _we_!"

If he had seen her face, he would have noticed the hurt in her eyes, "You can't pretend nothing happened that night. We have changed since then. Our feelings– You can't deny that. I have the right to know!"

"I won't discuss this now."

Her finger hit him on the chest, "Why?!"

"Because it's complicated!"

She scoffed "Well, guess what? Look at me! Everything is complicated when it comes to me!" breathing in and out harshly, she fixed her vision on him, "Mako. I'm asking you one last time. What happened after the lightning generation?"

"I–"

"Don't you dare lie to me," she warned, her eyes narrowing and he could recognize the not so hidden threat in her words. "Mako–"

"Enough, Korra!"

"What is your problem?!" her voice raised, frustration pouring through every word.

"You!" he shouted angrily, placing both hands against her cheeks, "You are my problem! You're in my head every single day, every single night. I have to relive your nightmare. Nonstop. Everywhere I turn, everything I think of, is you and this mess! Get out of my fucking head! What else do you want me to say, Korra?" the Firebender challenged her, his voice full with annoyance.

She stood in silence for a while before opening her mouth again, "I want you to tell me the truth."

"What truth?"

"What is happening to us?" Suddenly, she sounded like a little girl, scared and confused. His face softened. In reality, he was just as confused as she was.

The Water Tribe girl rested the back of her fingers on his cheekbone, lingering for a few seconds. Before he could stop himself, he leaned against her gentle knuckles, his eyelids closing.

"I know this is happening to you too," her voice broke, but her expression stayed firm and collected, her other hand placing his over her heart, "Tell me I'm not alone in this."

She was not asking for love, but for company. Someone who told her that she was not going crazy, because they _understood_. She knew that someone could only be him.

But In the back of his mind, all he could hear was the reasonable part of his brain telling him to stop before it was too late. _Pull yourself together_ , it repeated like a mantra.

His hand grabbed hers, removing it from its previous spot and putting an end to her caressing motions. Mako was not even sure how he had the will power to do that, as every pore in his body was asking him, _begging_ him, to let her continue. But he could not. They had been through all of this before, and it didn't work.

There was a reason they had created that line to separate them.

He attempted to reach the door, but her arms were too fast. Her hands found his cheeks again, strong and steady, almost closing the distance between them, daring him to pull away from her grasp. He did not.

He wanted to move. He had to and he should have, but he didn't. And then, there were only a few centimeters keeping their lips apart.

Because even if he stayed on his side of the line, it didn't mean that she would stay on hers.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I had been waiting for this one for a while now, and I guess after this, things should get darker. We'll see.

Please share your thoughts, suggestions, anything you want and leave a review. I would appreciate it.

Until Chapter 8!


	8. VIII

**A/N: I did warn you that it would get darker. Brace yourselves (if the quote below is hint enough).**

* * *

" _New growth cannot exist without first the destruction of the old."_

 **–** _ **Guru Laghima**_

* * *

 **VIII**

"So you kissed."

"Yes."

"And he left," said the non-bender, carrying a puzzled expression on her features, "Just like that?"

The brunette nodded, a small smile displaying on her lips, "Yes."

"Well, how was it?" Asami questioned, as her curiosity took over her rapidly blinking eyes.

With eyebrows burrowing, the Avatar's lips pressed in a tight line, "It was–" she let out a sigh, her mind drifting to the events that had taken place a few weeks ago. She did not know what to think or how to feel about it. They had kissed countless times during their relationship, and even before and after that, their mouths had found each other in the oddest of situations, preceded by confusion, nostalgia, hormones, love, or all of them combined. Yes, they had had more than enough kisses to know the meaning behind every single one of them.

This one, however, was like nothing they had ever shared. Blame it on the passing time that had allowed them to grow into mature adults, or on the emotional chaos that had been recently forced onto them, but there was definitely something peculiar about their interactions. They were two different people themselves.

When their lips met, it was electric, as if she was brought to life once again by the lightning that had propelled her failing heart. They moved against one another in synch, desperate to cease feeling, yet they wanted to feel so much more. He had never been one for words, and during that moment, she wanted to hear none. They got lost in each other, their touch blinding them and engulfing them into darkness. Her eyes were closed, all she could feel was him. She could see nothing, and at the same time, everything was so clear. It was some kind of light that she had never encountered before.

But it was peculiar indeed. It lacked the passion of a lovemaking kiss, the tenderness of a farewell and the joy of a celebrating one. And without passion, tenderness or joy, how could they ever feel anything remotely close to love? She had absolutely no idea how, but they could. There were thousands of questions in her mind and millions of things she did not know, and would never know, but one thing that she did know: _they definitely could._

And his callused hands were rough against her cheeks, even though she was not at her strongest. She appreciated it. Everyone had treated her like a broken doll, like she was weak and helpless, ever since she woke up after the battle with Zaheer. They had, and still continued to do so. The Firebender was also included in that group.

But when they were alone like that, not one inch separating them, she was not fragile to him anymore. He was not afraid to break her, because he knew that somehow, he was pulling her back together. Piece by piece, she was returning to him.

He felt warm, fire itself on her lips and all around her. And she felt overwhelmed, not knowing whether to cry or scream or break a wall. But it felt right. He made her want to tear her own skin along with her demons one at a time for him to see. For him to _understand._

Because no one else did. They all cared, they loved her, and they wanted to see her get better. But they could not understand because _they simply couldn't_. She was dumbfounded, that for some strange reason, Mako did. He felt warm like the flames that welcomed one home during a numbingly cold winter, like the blankets that embraced one against the freezing southern Winds.

And she felt alone in the sea of people that surrounded her. That was the worst kind of loneliness, she thought. All she wanted, _needed_ , was someone to share this burden with. The heaviness that dragged her to the ground every day, as she could not carry herself and her haunting ghosts any longer. Whether it was his choice or not, he was taking some of that weight for her.

She felt less alone when she was with him.

Korra looked back at her emerald-eyed friend, after what seemed like an eternity staring into the distance. "It was warm," was all she could mutter. And she could not find a better word to describe it, describe _him_. Flicking her hand slightly, she anticipated the red outburst of power. But unsurprisingly, nothing happened.

Maybe that was the reason she needed him. He was the fire she was missing, the fire she could no longer bend.

"Warm?" the raven-haired woman looked at her expectantly, as if encouraging her friend to continue. She didn't. "Does that mean it was good?"

"Better than good," corrected the one dressed in blue clothes.

"Then I don't understand!" yelped the Sato Heiress. _Of course you don't._ "He left without saying a word, right?"

"For the thousandth time, Asami," the Avatar sighed, giving her friend a small chuckle, "Yes." Because no words were necessary. There had been a silent understanding between them.

"So why did he leave?"

She only got a shrug in response.

"It's been weeks since then, shouldn't you have talked about it already?" Asami asked, her tone shifting with frustration, "What do you guys even talk about?"

Evading her question, Korra looked down at the Pai Sho board, contemplating her next move, her thumb and index finger pressing against her chin. The non-bender had decided to drop it, but then the girl in front of her started humming. _Humming, for Spirit's sake!_

"Are you okay?" Asami asked skeptically, her eyebrows knitted in confusion.

Pearly white teeth appeared as the corners of her mouth turned up, "Of course," Korra reassured her.

Asami was not sure she believed her. Nonetheless, she was grateful that despite her internal turmoil, her friend seemed to be somewhat happy.

(Maybe a little too happy.)

* * *

"You need to relax," the 13 year-old Airbender ordered.

Sitting cross-legged, she took a deep breath, allowing herself to study the features of the Avatar in front of her. Jinora had offered to help Korra meditate, sensing that her spiritual energy was significantly unbalanced. The latter had stopped trying to meditate a long time ago, giving up hope in reuniting with Raava. Every time she had attempted to enter the Spirit World, her greatest fears came back, in the form of unwanted memories, just to torture her. She did not think this time would be any different.

The woman in blue flinched at the thought, an almost unnoticeable reaction to most observers, but the Airbender caught it immediately.

"Concentrate on the sound of my voice," she linked Korra's hands with her own, recoiling slightly at the coldness of her skin, "Close your eyes."

The mocha-skinned woman did as told, Jinora following soon after.

"Feel the wind against you," the two inhaled and exhaled simultaneously. If the Airbender tried hard enough, she could bet that their pulses also synchronized. "Imagine it, flowing inside of you. From your nostrils, to your lungs. Follow its path. Focus on it."

The teenager opened her eyes to watch her meditation partner, "Air is spreading itself within you, bringing life to every corner of your body." Their chests filled one more time, "Air is here, and everywhere at the same time. It is infinite. So are you."

Never releasing her hold on the freezing Water Tribe girl, the Airbending Master continued, "Be like the wind," she said in a monotonous tone, "Raise above this Earth, let your spiritual energy flow."

Korra's breathing was steady, her posture fixed. Not a single motion came from her, other than the inflating and deflating of her chest, "Let the breeze take you where you want to go," Jinora added softly, before their hands split from one another.

Minutes passed, the Avatar remained immobile. The Airbender could not help but light up, as it seemed that her friend had achieved her goal. She looked peaceful, unreachable.

But before she could celebrate her apparent success, the 19 year-old whimpered, a frown creasing her forehead. Almost immediately, her eyes shot open, just as she gasped. The terror in them was something that Jinora would not able to erase from her mind in a long time, if ever. That was true fear.

"Korra?" calling out her name softly, the tattoo-covered girl placed a hand on the Avatar's back, trying to get her attention. The frantic breathing continued.

Jinora started to panic internally, as the woman in front her refused to give any signal of acknowledgement. "Korra?" she tried again, this time shaking her by the shoulders. In spite of her wisdom at such a young age, the Airbender was still a little girl. She got scared just as easily as Ikki did.

"It was just a vision," the dark-skinned girl promised. She was not sure whether she tried to convince Jinora or herself. But she repeated the words a few times under her breath, "Nothing happened."

"Okay?" the Airbender spoke, not knowing what else to do or say, "Should we get Gran-Gran?"

"No!" the suggestion seemed to snap her back to reality. In a few seconds, Korra composed herself, regaining her meditating position. She breathed in and out, before smiling at the younger girl, "I'm alright, Jinora," she had said merrily, but the spark that accompanied her voice did not reach her eyes. The usual glowing blue was unexplainably tainted with a somber tone, and regardless of the questionable sincerity of her smile, the Avatar could never hide the purple beds under her bottom lashes, "Spirits, you're turning into Tenzin already!" and then the mechanical laugh reappeared.

The young Airbending Master was not an idiot. She could tell by the robotic way Korra shrugged her question off, or by the perfectly placed grin, or by the well-practiced speech, that the woman in front of her was _anything_ but alright.

With the soft smile never leaving her lips, the Water Tribe woman closed her eyes once again, but that did not stop Jinora's from narrowing.

She let it go, as the Avatar seemed less distressed now.

She looked happy even.

(But her muscles were too tense for a happy person.)

* * *

Korra walked towards her room, her pace speeding as much as possible. It was not fast enough.

It was never fast enough.

She craved being alone in her chambers. Every day, it became more difficult for her to deal with everyone else. Her body was begging her to move faster now, and it did every second of the day as well. It was ready for action, ready to come to life with air, water, earth, and _fire_.

It was more than ready. Most of her senses growing stronger, whereas her motions struggled to keep up. But it was getting better, her physical strength was almost back to normal. Almost, but not quite yet.

She was afraid that perhaps the _almost_ was never going to vanish, but she could only pray that she was wrong. Physically, the improvement was obvious, everyone including herself could see it. But psychologically...

Her mind was slipping, she could tell. Her sanity was reaching its breaking point. The visions were emerging more frequently. They could hurt her now. Or maybe she was hurting herself, she was not sure. Everywhere she turned, there _she_ was, with glowing eyes and chained limbs.

She had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. After all, how could she ever run away from herself?

Even when she closed her eyes, the fear did not dissipate. It was intact, materializing, until she swore she could feel it with her own hands. She relived her worst nightmares every night, and she met them face to face during the day. She did not know what or who was real anymore. She was losing it. _Herself._

Opening the door, she ran inside, freezing the doorknob behind her with a whip of water. No one was intruding tonight.

Not a second after, her vision blurred with water. Sitting on the floor, she brought her knees to her chest. Tears burned their way out of her body, her sobs caught in her throat. She could not keep this up. She could not pretend she was okay, when every part of her was screaming that she was not.

 _Please._

She begged internally to no one, and anyone, who was listening.

 _Please. Make it stop._

She bit her lips so hard, that she could feel the metallic taste on her tongue.

 _Raava. I need you._

Teardrops fell from her eyes uncontrollably, hands gripping her hair harshly.

 _Nothing is real._

Korra wanted to cry in peace. To suffer in peace. But her hair was too long and her jacket, too warm. She needed no warmth anymore. The cold was all she embraced in her abyss.

 _Am I real?_

Her feet dragged her towards her nightstand, opening one the drawers and pulling out a safely stored dagger. She found herself in front of a mirror then, looking back at the state of her reflection. Her hair was a mess, her face soaked, and her eyes swollen, dark as the night itself.

 _Weren't they blue at some point?_

The metal in her hands grew heavy, the extra weight unwelcomed by the already exhausted Avatar. Her eyes were completely enthralled by the shining weapon. The coldness of the blade sent a chill down her spine. It made her feel something. Lately, she could feel nothing but fear.

 _It is too warm._

She pulled at her jacket, allowing the short knife to travel its way down her chest, ripping the jacket in the middle. Her torso finally broke free from the imprisoning fabric.

 _Warmth was life._

The blade danced from one hand to another, the taunting silver hypnotizing her. It felt very real in her grip. This knife was reality itself. It made her feel _something_.

Her vision shifted, landing on her wrists. She could see the thin lines under her skin, where her blood was supposed to be running. The dagger felt heavy again, calling her name. She lifted it shakily.

 _If it is so warm, why do I feel so cold?_

One hand gripped the end of her long hair, the other moving dangerously fast in its direction. And then it was gone. Inches and inches of hair falling to the floor.

Touching her hair to feel short strands was all it took for the tears to come back stronger than ever. Inconsolable, she buried her face in her hands.

When she looked back at the mirror, she met her new reflection, and not too far behind, the glowing eyes stared at her. She held the gaze, but she could not fight it. She was too weak.

"Leave me alone!" she roared, her voice exploding with anger, but she was more scared than anything else.

 _Please._

The body behind her launched the platinum chains in her direction, capturing her foot. Korra sobbed desperately, as her hand threw the dagger towards the mirror, breaking it in the process.

The sound of glass shattering invaded her ears, and then, silence absorbed the room.

A soft knock on the door disturbed the quietness. "Korra?" the person tried to open the frozen door, "Is everything okay?"

"Yes!" she answered a bit too fast. She cleared her throat, "Don't worry!"

"I heard glass–"

"It's nothing!" she interrupted.

"Okay…" said the raven-haired non-bender, "Let me know if you need anything."

Silence surrounded the room again.

Korra walked towards the hundreds of glass pieces on the floor, her feet ignoring the pain of the sharp objects against her skin. She grabbed a piece the size of her hand and sat on the edge of her bed.

Holding it at an arm's length, she inspected her complexion. And she did not stop for a while. She did not know how long she actually stared at her reflection.

 _Is that really me?_

She could hear voices outside of her room, "She froze it!" someone said, but she could not tell who it was anymore. And she did not bother trying to recognize it either. There was another person, "I'll open it!" but she knew _his_ voice too well.

The door opened carefully as two people stepped in, "Korra?" a female called her name. But she did not tear her eyes from the glass.

"Is she hurt?" Asami asked as they neared the Avatar.

"Nothing visible," he said as he kneeled before her, "Korra."

She did not meet his eyes.

He took the mirror from her hands, taking her face in his, "Look at me."

Dead orbs stared into the distance.

"Please," he begged.

And after minutes had passed, she finally did. And all he saw was pure horror.

"Asami, leave," he commanded sternly.

"What?" her mouth hung open, perplexed. "No!"

" _Asami_ ," his voice broke against his will, and she did not dare to refuse. She squeezed his shoulder comfortingly before quietly leaving the room.

"Hey," Mako said softly, his thumb caressing her cheek. He pushed her gently, until her back made contact with the mattress. He hesitated when thinking about what to do next, but when he saw her face, expressionless and blinking far too slowly, he knew that he could not leave her.

She was not moving at all, but when his arm pulled her towards him, and her face pressed against his chest, he could feel her body starting to vibrate.

Her agonizing cries were silenced by his shirt, soaking the fabric. Mako continued with soothing words as he hugged her tightly. Her tears felt like stabs to his heart, killing a part of him with each drop.

"It's okay," he said, running his hands up and down her bitter-cold arms, "I'm here."

 _He is so warm._

"I'm not going anywhere, Korra," he kissed the top of her head, "I promise."

He did not need to ask what happened that night. He knew too well.

To everyone else, she seemed happy.

(But he knew she wasn't.)

* * *

 **A/N:** I hope you liked this one. After last chapter's great feedback, I felt motivated to update faster.

I had to go back to Korra's condition. Her monologue was inspired by Azula's insanity twist in Book 3: Fire. Azula will always be one of my favorite characters ever, being one of those utterly evil people who showed that they were actually very much human and suffered just like any other. And ATLA explored her character and every other to perfection, something I can't really say about LOK.

Anyways, let me know what you think, leave a review! They are always appreciated.

Until next chapter, and as always, thank you for reading.


	9. IX

**Rating: T** will sometimes include curse words and possibly non graphic sex scenes.

* * *

" _You think you're any different from me, or your friends, or this tree? If you listen hard enough, you can hear every living thing breathing together. You can feel everything growing. We're all living together, even if most folks don't act like it. We all have the same roots, and we are all branches of the same tree."_

– _ **Huu**_

* * *

 **IX**

"Thank you for staying the night–" emerged a whisper with the morning sunlight. Whether he heard her or not, remained unknown, as the rise and fall of his chest maintained their calm pattern. His black hair fell against his forehead, the breaking dawn kissing his porcelain skin. He was beautiful, she thought. When his features were taken over by slumber, he looked peaceful. His usual scowl was nowhere to be found, every muscle in his face free from stress and tension.

She shifted on the bed, her head hovering over his, giving her a better angle to continue studying his face. He also looked younger, she noted; no longer portraying a man, who had seen and suffered too much with such a young age, but a boy surrendering to the tranquility of the night.

During their relationship, she had developed the habit of stealing a couple of looks at the sleeping man. She had never been a morning person, but when he was there, igniting so much peacefulness, she could not help but think that she would wake up at any time, just to see that person. The person she had loved so much. _Had_.

She had learned to love him, and so had he. It was most definitely not a first sight thing. _Spirits_ , no. It was never on her plans to fall for him, and she knew for a fact, that he had tried his best to banish her from his mind. To this day, he still tried.

It did not matter how many times he attempted to run, or build a million walls around himself, those walls would melt before her. Against his and her wishes.

But he felt real.

With her sanity on the verge of extinguishing, she needed an anchor to attach her to the physical world. A flame to replace the one she was missing.

And he was fire.

He had burnt her before, they had burnt each other. They were too wild. They were _kids_. Fire was supposed to be destructive, untamable and unmerciful.

But it was also life.

Leaning closer, she continued, her tone almost inaudible, "–For everything."

By now, she knew he was awake. If there was something she had learned in their time together, it was that her proximity awoke something within him. Without opening his eyes, he muttered only loud enough for her to hear, "Don't thank me."

"I have to," a smile appeared on her face, but her eyes were not connected to it, hanging low above purple bags.

"Korra–" the change in his voice was noticeable, his uptight personality waking from its daily rest, "You know that you should not be this close," his lazy eyes landed on her lips, which were slightly parted.

"And why is that?" her challenge forced him to fully open his eyes, golden orbs returning the same amount of intensity.

Even though she could feel his stubbornness (or annoyance) about to make an appearance, his voice remained serene, "We talked about it. This, us–" he paused for a second, mouthing the words she had said a long, long time ago, "Doesn't work."

"I know," she admitted, backing away from him. It was difficult for him to hide his shock immediately, as he would have never expected her to just agree with him. But she was exhausted. Dealing with her own psyche was already too consuming for her to fight someone else. She wanted everything to stop, if just for a second. She wanted peace.

Placing his hand on top of hers, he exhaled deeply, "But if you want company, no matter where, no matter when–" she stopped herself from recoiling thanks to the warmth his contact was providing her. He noticed. "I will be there."

A blush crept up from her neck, all the way to her cheeks, "Maybe you should not share a room with Bolin anymore."

His crimson skin matched hers at the suggestion. But regardless of his discomfort, he managed to mutter, "I won't."

Minutes passed before one of them spoke again. Their tinted red complexions had to return to their natural colors, before either of them regained the courage to look at the other.

"Mako, why did you stay last night?"

He growled internally, as her question reached his ears. She always had to ask awkward questions, with even more awkward responses. "Anyone would have done the same," he explained matter-of-factly, avoiding the actual answer.

"Yes, anyone could have," agreed the blue eyed girl, "But why did you do it?"

Sighing, his eyes diverted from her penetrating gaze, unable to prevent his neck from reddening, "You already know why."

And she did.

But she did not think he nor she would ever say it, some things were better left unsaid, taunting from between the lines of an ambiguous confession.

She did not want to hear it either.

* * *

"She's getting stronger."

The gray-haired woman nodded at her youngest son, "Indeed."

A few meters away from them, stood the Avatar, in the middle of the sparring pavilion. On her head was a red and grey helmet, her short hair barely visible under it. Matching her protective hat, she wore a grey armor; her torso and arms covered by a red tunic.

Circling the girl was a couple of White Lotus guards with matching outfits. The three of them had their arms in front of their chests, awaiting the next attack. Korra, always impulsive and impatient, charged at her opponents. Her leg raised, only to return strongly to the soil, the ground roaring below her. The earthquake-like vibrations caused the adversaries to stumble on their feet, just before her arms sprang forward, rocks following her motions.

She was surprisingly fast, even for someone with her current health condition. Her recovery was astonishing to everyone around her, proving every day why she was worthy of the Avatar title. Yes, she was faster than regular people, but she was too slow for _Korra_.

"She's moving slower than she should," stated the Waterbender, voicing her impression.

Tenzin stroke his beard with his left hand, his right arm supporting the weight of the other under the elbow. "Have the visions continued?"

With saddened eyes, his mother answered, "More often than not."

Katara could not ignore the stories that the young Water Tribe woman had told her. The visions, the nightmares, her body rebelling against her… It was all very worrisome, to say the least. When the Firebender had summoned her this morning, saying that Korra needed her help, she knew that the Avatar was not recovering as outstandingly as everyone believed. And while she healed the bloody feet of the girl who had failed to do so herself, the brunette had finally confessed what her trauma was really doing to her.

It was not good. Not at all.

Since then, the elder had watched the girl more closely, picking on small gestures and movements that proved what she feared was true. The breaking point was close. Someone could only handle so much. And Korra was strong, stronger that any living person. The power she possessed was something most people would not even dream of having.

But she was not invincible.

"This matter needs to be dealt with immediately," the Airbending Master concluded, as he watched the young woman push a wall in a guard's direction, while dodging the attack of the other man behind her. She rolled to the ground, sending a boulder towards the second rival as she jumped back to her feet, "Suyin should arrive tonight," he announced.

"If there happens to be poison left inside of her–" It was a theory that had invaded her mind, ever since Korra's heart episode. Even though it was understandable for her body to react to the stress and fear of the visions, it was still strange that the attack happened. If her mental condition and body movements were any indication, her inability to recuperate completely had a source. The Waterbender doubted that it was purely caused by her traumatic experience.

"We need to do everything in our power to get it out," Tenzin finished her sentence.

Katara assented, the stern look never leaving her features, "But even if Suyin is able to locate the mercury, it is up to Korra whether it works or not."

"Do you believe it will be a problem, Mother?"

Their fields of vision found the Avatar on the pavilion. She was holding her ground, literally. The guards were panting, exhausted from the not yet finished battle. One of them, on the floor with his hands up in surrender, while the other stood nervously facing the Water Tribe woman.

Korra smirked.

Just as the match was about to end, both contestants ready to throw their best shots, the brunette paralyzed and her eyes shot open, darkened with terror. Her hands flew in front of her face to protect herself from the stones that were being thrown in her direction.

The young woman remained on the floor, hands still covering her head, before the Airbender rushed to her side and helped her up. Katara could see her son mouthing encouraging words. In return, the girl harshly snatched her arm away from his grasp, before tossing her helmet to the ground and walking away.

"I'm afraid so," said the Waterbender under her breath.

* * *

"Su!"

The youngest of the Beifong sisters opened her arms to bury the 19 year-old in a tight embrace, "Korra, dear," the woman dressed in dark green robes, adorned with metal, lovingly brushed the brunette's hair, "You're looking more beautiful than ever. The hair is fantastic," she complimented, earning a blush from the young Avatar.

"When did you get here?"

"Not so long ago. I was catching up with Katara. We're long-life family friends," the Metalbender smiled wholeheartedly, before pointing towards a couple outside the healing hut, "I also had to detach my daughter from Bolin."

Looking at love-struck Earthbender, the two laughed, as they hugged each other once again, "It's so good to see you again, Su."

When they separated, the grey-haired woman's eyebrows knitted, a stern expression on her face, "I'm afraid I am not staying for long."

"Oh," Korra's muscles tensed as Katara, Tenzin, and Tonraq entered the room, accompanied by a couple of White Lotus guards. "What is going on? Katara, why is everyone here–"

"Sweetheart, listen," the Southern Water Tribe Chief walked towards his daughter, placing one hand on her shoulder and the other on her cheek, "We have been talking, and we came to the conclusion that there is a chance that there's still poison in your system. That's why Suyin is here."

Her forehead creased, her blue eyes full of confusion, "But that's impossible–" opening and closing her mouth, she blinked a few times, "Su took it out!"

The Zaofu leader looked at her apologetically, "I did. But there could be some remainders left. Small quantities–" she explained, "That were concealed too deep in your bloodstream for me to reach."

The Avatar sat in a nearby chair, her elbows on her thighs, as her face buried in her hands. Her vision fixed on the floor, her mind full with confusion. "That could explain everything."

"We know it's complicated," agreed the Airbender with blue-arrow tattoos, "And we could try to do this tonight, if you think it's bes–"

"Yes!" exclaimed the dark-skinned woman, jumping to her feet, "Yes! You have to take it out!"

"There is a possibility that we're mistaken, and that there's no poison in your body," Katara warned her pupil, sensing the excitement that could come crushing down, if their speculations were incorrect. It would destroy the girl, more than she already was.

"I don't care," Korra shook her head continuously, "I'm ready."

The four adults looked at each other, unsure and uneasy by the girl's enthusiasm. They had expected more of a fight from her. Some insecurity, at least. But she was too willing, and if the results were not what they expected, her mental condition would only worsen.

* * *

Her back pressed against the hard bed, the Waterbending Master to her right, Metalbender on the left. Wrinkled hands lingered close to her temples, a halo of glowing water calming her restless, agitated brain. She breathed in and out slowly, following her Waterbending teacher's instructions.

"I need you to relax," said the daughter of Toph Beifong, "It won't work if your body is fighting me."

"I'm trying," she promised.

"I know," Suyin gave her a reassuring nod, placing her hands on top of Korra's chest and abdomen, as she closed her eyes in concentration. She focused on the pulse, the blood running through her veins, trying to detect any sign of strange metallic substances inside of Korra. The emerald-eyed woman moved her head from one side to the other, a sad expression decorating her features, "I'm sorry."

"No! Please–" pleaded the Avatar, her voice breaking with desperation, "Try again."

The Metalbender eyed the audience, who nodded in her direction, before returning to her mission. Korra closed her eyes, focusing on the freezing water on her head. Suyin rhythmically moved her hands, as if scratching the earth itself, above the brunette's body. Her bending becoming stronger and stronger on the other body.

The Water Tribe girl's eyes shut forcefully, frowning as beads of sweat trickled down her forehead.

A man with a scar across his eyebrow levitated above her. He bent the air around her, pulling her to her feet. A sphere of air formed around her head, absorbing the life out of her body. She could feel it, the end was near. With every second, less and less air inhabited her body. She was suffocating. The poison was killing her simultaneously.

She was dying.

She _had_ to die.

Blue eyes opened, her breathing quickening as she panted. Her hectic eyes wandered around the room, the spectators looked at her with shocked and worried expressions.

"Did you get it out?" she questioned harshly, her hand reaching her neck to caress it. She did not even need to ask what they had found in her body. She already knew.

She could feel the poison _fucking_ her very being.

"Tell me you got it out!" her voice rose with every rose.

"There is poison in there," Suyin answered the unasked question, her tone soft to protect herself from the wrath of the young Avatar, "But you're moving too much."

"There must be something we can do," Tonraq spoke up from the back of the room.

"You have to hold me down," commanded the brunette, her eyes never leaving the floor.

The adults mouthed in unison, "What?"

"I can't fight my visions and stay immobile," the young girl turned to the Waterbending Master, "Katara, this has to work."

They all wanted to refuse and discard her idea, but when they saw the desperation in her eyes, no one had the strength to do so. Tenzin motioned the guards to approach Korra. Each of them held the girl by the shoulder, maintaining a firm grip on her torso.

Suyin's arms started to dance above Korra, finding the metal. The mocha-skinned girl's pulse accelerated, as the drops of mercury ripped through her body.

Her vision darkened, expecting the lunatic who had poisoned her to come haunt her. But she found a different image this time. Something she had never seen before.

A little boy clung to a motionless body on the ground. He sobbed uncontrollably as he shook the unresponsive person nonstop. He begged the person to wake up, over and over. Nothing happened. Tears streamed down his face. He was in so much pain, an incredible amount for someone so young. He was not innocent anymore, his happiness taken away from him by force. He had seen too much.

Next to him was another child, hugging the other body just as hard as he was. Their expression matched one another's. The 8-year old looked as if the air was being taken out of his lungs, leaving him as lifeless as the bodies next to him. He could not breathe, he could not see. He was suffering too much.

The police, wearing metal uniforms, arrived at the crime scene. They pulled the children away from the bodies, while the kids wrestled to get out of their grip. The boy managed to escape, taking a garment from one of the bodies, just before he was taken by the police again.

He wrapped the red scarf around his neck, crying against it as he held his little brother in the police car.

* * *

Korra started running as fast as her body allowed her, after she had snapped out of her vision. The people in the room were trying to calm her down, but she was relentless. They had tried to stop her, which only resulted in a guard being airbent through the wall. She could not find the time to care.

The vision... it was too much. She did not understand why she had seen what she did, but it had to mean something. Every day she had to face her demons, but she had forgotten that he also had some of his own. And it was a pain that the Avatar had never, ever experienced. She hoped she never did. He had lost the people who were his whole world, when he was only a kid, not even old enough to comprehend the cruelty of this harsh world.

For a time she had believed that no one could ever be in her shoes, they had never and would never go through what she did. But there were different kinds of pain, and to each individual, their struggles were perhaps just as horrible as hers. And Mako, he had felt something so inexplicably horrific.

He knew what true suffering was.

Her feet dragged her to a familiar door, opening and closing it rapidly without asking for permission or consent. She needed none.

Turquoise eyes landed on a familiar silhouette, which rested against the window frame, holding a book in his hands. He moved from his previous position, golden meeting blue. His face was puzzled and his body, rigid. The fire in her eyes was unsettling, he did not know what to expect from her sudden arrival.

"Hey–" he started, his body nearing hers cautiously, "Did you have visions again?"

"Yes."

"They're not real, Korra," he said gently.

She looked up at him, "Yes, they are."

But before he could answer, her lips captured his, soft pillows against the other. She wanted to let go. She _needed_ to. Her hands found the back of his neck, forcing the little distance there was between them, to close. He was as unresponsive as ever. He did not pull back. He did nothing.

She grew angry against him, pushing him back to the nearest wall, grabbing him by the collar. He could have sworn, that if she was able to firebend, she would have burned him to death right then and there.

"You need to stop," he said, gritting his teeth, "What is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with _you_?!" she spat back, her blue eyes clouded with fury.

"This–us– is wrong!"

She punched the wall next to him, ignoring the pain in her knuckles, "Tell me one thing–" her eyes narrowed at him "–that's not wrong with us."

"Korra–"

Her face leaned closer, her breath tickling his chin, "You and I… We're _fucked up_ ," her voice was dangerously low, "And there's a million things that we want to forget, that we _can't_ forget."

His heart was pumping incredibly fast; it was the only thing he could hear, accompanied by her voice. That voice, which drove him crazy. His breathing was slow, moving the least he could, to prevent her from losing it in front of him. He was not sure whether he liked the idea or not.

Her lips were too close now, way too close. She was killing him. And then, she had to whisper, "Help me forget, Mako."

That was all it took for his brain, the only reasonable and collected part of his body, to switch off. The rest of him was craving her touch, for a long time. He lost control before she did, which only made him realize that she had the upper hand. While he was giving up control, she only gained more.

In a swift movement, he turned them over, her back hitting the wall. His mouth crashed into hers, aggressive, passionate and burning, like a true Firebender. Her arms sneaked behind his neck, deepening the kiss. Her tongue found his, exploring the grounds of a place that had been forbidden for what felt like forever, yet it felt so familiar. They knew exactly _where_ or _how_ to touch for the other to lose a part of their senses.

Korra's legs wrapped around his waist, his hands on her lower back and legs respectively. His mouth abandoned her lips, only to travel down her neck, nibbling on the spot he knew too well she loved. A moan escaped her throat, as she tangled her hands in his raven hair.

Moving towards the bed, he let her back hit the mattress. His body remained on top of hers, locking his eyes with hers. They were dark, but this time, there was no fear in them. She was free. She was air.

And water, and earth and especially, _fire_.

Her whole body felt like flames to him. _She_ set him on fire.

He could never understand how she could be so beautiful. When, why and how did she ever get this power over him?

He did not know.

And as her hands got rid of his shirt, he found that did not care either.

The shirt was followed by other garments, until there was not a single thing separating them.

They stared at each other, drinking each other in.

"I love you," one of them said, and the other's eyes widened.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Who do you think said I love you?**

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I must say that the Makorra shipper in me, very much enjoyed writing this one.

After reading your reviews, I just had to update faster! Thank you for the feedback, it is greatly appreciated.

Don't forget to leave a review, I would enjoy hearing your opinion on this chapter.

Thank you for reading. Until Chapter 10!


	10. X

**A/N:** An awfully long chapter. Also, always, _always_ read the quote at the beginning. It foreshadows more than you'd think.

* * *

 _"_ _Don't pretend to act proud. I know what you really think of me. You think I'm a monster."_

– _ **Azula**_

* * *

 **X**

 _Korra had always remembered her birthdays._

Even the ones when she was just a toddler, joyful and careless. Vaguely, but well enough to long for the better days, during which her greatest worry was mastering Waterbending. Although she could argue that that was more exciting than anything else at the time.

"Happy birthday, Korra," a low voice muffled against her hair.

The occasion was never a significant celebration, in her –not so– humble opinion. Aging was not an achievement, nor a surprise to her. She became a year older, so did everyone else, under normal conditions. Granted, she was not a _normal_ person. But being locked in a compound most of her life gave little to no room to the uncertainties of death. Unless she had died of boredom.

However, after everything she had been through, the suffering, the trauma, the sorrow, and her undeniably lucky successes at cheating death itself, the Avatar had much to be grateful for, such as the possibility of being able to have a breath of fresh air every morning. And how deliciously intoxicating every inhalation was, when one's mind was suffocating.

She should have been grateful that even with her psyche pushing her closer and closer off the edge of dementia, she still managed to live to see another sunrise.

But sometimes, she did not feel as grateful.

Numb was a better word.

Her mind was consumed by fear to the point that she found herself drifting, unable to rejoice in the simple things in life. Unable to _feel_.

Her naked body faced the window, a familiar weight pressed against the crook of her neck. She could feel his soft breathing on her, the rise and fall of his chest, his strong, but steady heartbeat. She could tell when he was awake, even before he opened his mouth, by the subtle change in his pulse.

She wondered how she could be so detached from the rest of the world, yet so aware of everything regarding him. And as she slowly, but progressively lost her senses, she also clutched him tighter.

Tender fingers met her chin, turning her head slightly over her shoulder. His thumb stroke her cheek, as his lips lingered on hers for a few seconds. They were barely moving, but for some reason, it _moved_ her. She took her time to taste him, to re-memorize the softness he kissed her with, as if he worshiped every single part of her.

He straightened himself on the mattress, his back leaning against the bed frame. Stretching her arms behind her head, she abandoned the place next to him in order to pick up a navy robe that laid on the ground nearby. She could feel golden eyes following her every move, as she slipped the long garment over her torso.

The Avatar grinned internally, running her hands through her hair, "Don't stare at me," she commanded sternly, but he could sense the teasing underneath, "It makes me uncomfortable."

His sarcastic laugh reached her ears, as the Firebender rolled his eyes, "Me, looking at you, while naked, makes you uncomfortable?" she nodded, hearing him snort soon after, "After _everything_ we have done–"

"That's enough," a blush invaded her cheeks at his accusation. But he had a point, she had to admit. They had had plenty of time to study each other's bodies during their relationship. Also, it had been almost a week since they had once again started to– _Yeah_. And ever since, he had spent nights in her room. It was comforting. To have someone hold her, when she was barely holding on for dear life, was the anchor to the material world she had been desperate for.

He was helping her pull herself back together. And then there was–

Yeah, _that_.

She could not decide whether or not she was particularly comfortable with it. But she most certainly did _not_ refuse. In fact, she started it most of the times… And the rest of the times too, much to her embarrassment. She understood why, though. There was a line he would only cross, if she was willing to do so herself. He had to know that she was okay with it, as he did not want to add another burden to her already heavy load.

"How bad were they this time?" he asked, his volume dropping with concern. She knew what _they_ he was referring to. After all, she had woken up several times during the night, screaming. All because of _them._ Her muscles tensed at the memory, and inadvertently, her heart rate accelerated under her clothes, "We don't need to talk about it," apologized the Firebender, noticing her sudden discomfort.

Sitting on the end of the bed, her gaze landed on the broken glass in front of her, "It's fine," she sighed, "I wish the nightmares were getting worse."

A puzzled look took over his eyebrows, knitting them together, "Why?"

"That would mean that I could still get worse," explained the brunette, unable to unlock her eyes from the mirror she had broken. "But I can't get worse than this, Mako. This is my rock bottom."

"But the poison–"

"They can't get it out. And they will never be able to. I have to do it myself," her voice broke at the end of the sentence, "It's too much to handle."

"About that," the guilt was noticeable in his shifting form, "I have to tell you something," one of her eyebrows perked up with interest under her stress, her eyes meeting his for the first time this morning, "It's about the night I struck you with lightning…"

His mouth opened, revealing the strange events that had happened from the moment electricity made contact with the two of them. Her eyes expanded with every word, her tongue drying to the extent that her breathing became painful. He went into details concerning his connection with Korra, the Avatar Spirit and the past Avatars themselves. She did not know what to think of it. She could not believe it, but studying his features, only honesty and confusion were displayed in them. Then there were the dreams, nightmares. _Her_ nightmares.

He was telling the truth, letting names slip past his tongue, names of individuals she had failed to reach for so long.

Kuruk.

Roku.

Aang.

 _Raava._

"You met my past lives?" her question was barely audible, and giving its rhetoric nature, he knew that she was not looking for an answer. The baby blue of her orbs turned darker by the second, pure shock clouding her vision. She was speechless.

He gulped.

" _You_ –" clicking her tongue, her head tilted down. Her hair covered the side of her face, hiding the fury brewing inside of her from the Firebender. She exhaled loudly through her nostrils, "–saw my past lives."

"Korra," he said carefully, trying to calm the beast he knew was about to be unleashed, "I am just as confused as you are."

Her fists clenched at her sides, her body shaking. Many times before, he had seen her mad. During their breakup, especially. But this– this was wrath at its core.

"Convince me," she whispered from behind her curtain of short locks, " _Convince me_ why you thought you had the right to hide this from me for so long."

His heart pumped rapidly, unsettled by the dangerously low volume coming from the young Avatar, "It was for the best. You were dealing with–"

Her head whiplashed in his direction, and her eyes bored a hole through him, "You think you know what's best, Hm?" the corners of her mouth twitched up, in what could only be seen as the most disturbing grin ever, "Who told _you_ , that you could make _my_ decisions for me?"

"Katara, Tenzin, we thought–"

"Oh!" she laughed humorlessly, her neck moving back, "And you told everyone else, too?"

"I'm sorry–"

Holding her hand in front of her, she spat, "Shut up," narrowing her eyes at him, full of something he had never seen in her. Full of hate. He was not sure it was all directed at him. She was not sure either. "We're done here," she left the bed, crossing her arms over her torso.

"Listen, Korra," he tried to argue with her, his hand reaching for her face, which only resulted in hers slapping him away, "We thought that this would make your condition worse. There are so many things I still don't understand. That you wouldn't understand yet–"

"I don't want to hear you anymore!" her voice raised above his, tears of rage threatening to escape her eyes. As he tried to touch her again, she pushed his chest. Over, and over, and over, "Shut up!"

He caught her hands in his, stopping her from hitting him.

"I want to leave!"

"You're not leaving. Please, let me explain–"

"Let. Me. Go!" stressing every syllable, dark-skinned hands ignited with flames, burning porcelain ones along the way. He retrieved his hands in less than a second, recoiling at the pain, holding them close to his chest. He inspected the burn, nothing major, but still enough to sting for a few hours.

Blue eyes broadened, panic engulfing her, as water traveled down her cheeks. She panted heavily, her field of vision unable to leave her hands. She had not been able to firebend for a while, much less unintentionally. Her firebending was weak, and sometimes, completely extinguished. The reason was still unknown, but she assumed that the venom was somehow to blame. He knew that too, which probably accounted for one of the reasons he looked so shocked.

"Do you regret what you said the other day?" he referred to her _three worded_ confession, sounding so small, that she felt her anger dissipate immediately. She had hurt him, but she had not meant to.

She felt overwhelmed, her body shaking still from the news of her existent connection to the past Avatars. Naturally, she was angry at the Firebender for keeping it from her, but would never hate him. She felt self-hatred, being mostly angry at herself for being such a spiritual failure. For not trying harder, for giving up. She turned her back on her past lives out of fear of not being able to find them ever again.

Afraid of being alone forever, with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"I don't regret it," her arms linked behind his neck, embracing him tightly, salty tears cascading with gravity, "I am so sorry. I can't control myself anymore, Mako."

Her worries vanished, if for a second, as his arms tightened around her back.

* * *

"Happy birthday, sweetie!"

A small body encircled the Avatar, placing quick pecks on her cheekbones.

"Thanks, Mom," the girl could not help but melt in her mother's embrace. It did not matter how many years passed, there was something calming about being in her arms. It felt like home. No, it _was_ home.

The older woman separated from her daughter, yet her hands stayed put on the other's arms, "Are you excited about tonight?"

"So excited," said the twenty year-old, extending the _o_ to mark her sarcasm. Thankfully, the wife of the Southern Water Tribe Chief did not mind it, or at least, she pretended she did not. "Did Katara leave already?" she asked, evading the topic.

Her mother nodded. Ever since she had met the Waterbending master, they had formed an unbreakable bond. She became more than a teacher, another mother of some sort. Being lucky enough to live close to her in the White Lotus Compound, the young Avatar had spent every day with the elder. It was the one true friend she had had during her childhood, that one company, even when her parents were away. Only one day did they not spend together.

Her birthday.

The Waterbender visited the Southern Air Temple on this occasion, every single year. Korra understood the reason, and even though she missed having her teacher around, she held no grudge against her.

It was her birthday.

But also the Anniversary of Aang's death.

"She left this morning with her children," she gently squeezed Korra's shoulder, "But I have to take care of Tenzin's. You should enjoy the rest of the day. I know Asami wants to help you get ready for the small gathering."

The Avatar scoffed. _Small_. World leaders were attending the supposedly small event. For some reason, that Korra had yet to comprehend, her parents and other mentors thought that it was necessary to hold a party in her honor. It was beyond her, why they would even consider such festivity would make her happy, but she appreciated their intentions. They had argued that it was the first time she could celebrate since the encounter with the Red Lotus. She knew what they really meant. She could finally stand on her two feet without falling.

"I understand you don't want the attention during these–" a throat cleared, an apologetic look decorating her features, "Times."

Waving her hands in front of her chest to ease her mother's disappointment, the girl said, "No! It's great, Mom!" she smiled, trying her best to sound sincere, "I am very happy about it, I swear."

Sadness abandoned her face, as she heard her daughter's words, "We're just worried about you, Korra," Senna confessed sorrowfully, her hand landing on the Avatar's cheek, "You haven't been yourself lately. You seem so angry nowadays."

"I know. The poison–" A sigh left her lips, her eyes finding the floor. She did not want to blame everything on the deathly substance. But if she didn't, she would only have herself left to blame, "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. We understand your frustration, not getting it out," her voice trailed off at the end of her speech, "But you're doing marvelously, sweetheart. And we're so proud of you."

Korra's lips pressed in a thin line, unable to look at the other person in the eye.

"Just remember, that if you want to talk about what you're going through, I'm here," promised the older woman, kissing her daughter on the forehead, "We will always love you."

She did not cry but she completely felt like crumbling to the floor in front of the person who had given birth to her. The person who had loved her despite her mistakes, despite her everything.

"I am so scared, Mom."

* * *

The white moon shone above them, its fullness illuminating the pavilion.

Along with the Southern lights, the terrain below was decorated with lights of its own. Candles adorned the tables, with lanterns hanging from the pillars surrounding the open space. Guests were scattered all around, some swaying to the soothing music, others engaging in active conversations. Upon arrival, they neared the long, rectangular table, where the reason for the celebration was sitting. People shook her hand, gave her words of encouragement and admiration, and then proceeded with their night.

" _You look beautiful!"_

" _I never doubted your strength!"_

" _You're an inspiration to us all!"_

Urging herself not to roll her eyes at the stereotypical speeches, her gaze traveled around the grounds. Some people, she was interested in. Bolin danced happily, twirling a black-haired girl, who wore Metal Clan formal robes, in circles. The Sato Heiress accompanied a certain General of the United Forces on the dance floor, and a few feet away, her parents rhythmically followed the melodies of the Southern Water Tribe tunes. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

She could not bring herself to enjoy it.

As she scanned the rest of the faces, some she recognized, some she didn't, the Avatar found two silhouettes dressed in black, gold, and dark red. Her feet dragged her towards the table, where a man with a notorious scar on his face was sitting.

"Lord Zuko, Fire Lord Izumi," bowed the brunette, as a sign of respect.

Returning the bowing reverence, the two signaled to the empty chair next to them.

"Thank you again," the now twenty year-old said with honesty, "For coming all the way from the Fire Nation."

"It was no trouble," assured the Fire Lord. Korra could not help but feel fascinated about this woman, so powerful and regal. It was hard not to feel intimidated by such poise. Her whole figure inspired strength, from the flame-shaped crown at the top of her head, to the silk dark red robes.

"I can imagine it's a long way home."

The grey-haired monarch waved her hand, disregarding her worries, "Perhaps you should visit one day."

The brunette smiled wholeheartedly, "I would love that," the hope in her voice was almost palpable, that of a little girl dreaming of traveling the world. She cleared her throat, snapping out her thoughts, "If you don't mind, I would like to talk to your father."

The Fire Lord nodded in her direction, releasing her predecessor's hand.

The scarred man turned in her direction, gold meeting blue, "Is there something on your mind, Korra?"

"Actually, Lord Zuko," her voice lowered as she spoke, embarrassment tinted her turquoise orbs, "I would like to seek your advice again."

"It would be my honor."

The Avatar inhaled deeply, before mouthing one of her fears, "My Firebending has… weakened lately."

White eyebrows raised, his forehead creasing above, "I see."

"Katara told me that you went through the same," his head inclined slightly in assent, concern growing in his eyes, "I just don't understand."

His chest rose and fell, as he stroked his beard, "I cannot know exactly what you're going through. Personally, it was somewhat simple. My motivation had been capturing the Avatar at the time. Once the hate was gone, so was my fire."

Barely blinking, she motioned him to go on, "Fire is different from the other elements, as it should be. One must have a drive, a passion, to bend fire. When your incentive changes, or there is no incentive whatsoever, there's a shift in your inner fire. How can one bend fire, when there is no fire within oneself?"

Her eyes bolted open in realization. It had nothing to do with the venom in her system. Not quite, "So, that means–"

"What sets your spirit aflame, Avatar Korra?"

* * *

She had left the party hours ago, and she pondered, whether or not people noticed her absence. Her bet was on the latter, as the music played loud and vigorous. No one had come looking for her, and honestly, she did not care.

There was something about nights like these one, with the full moon engulfing her from above. She felt reinvigorated, with the moonlight traveling through her blood. The Waterbender inside of her rejoiced at the increment of power.

Kicking her shoes off, she let her feet sink in the snow on the edge of the cliff, where she had first entered the Avatar State. Her toes curled on the soft surface, indifferent to the coldness of it. She inhaled the frozen air of the sanctuary she tended to visit for comfort when she felt utterly lost, in more than one way.

As she started to move her arms to the beat of the bitter-cold night, the water below danced along, following her steps. The snowflakes levitated around her, fixed in their position. The waves roared under her command, reaching, and surpassing the heights of the tall cliff.

One.

Two.

Three.

 _Breathe._

Although she knew it was physically impossible, she could have sworn that she had stopped breathing ages ago. Air was the element of freedom, but there was no air inside of her. And there had not been for a long time.

She was not free at all, chained to the weight of her own insanity.

It was crystal clear now. There was a reason no one had been able to remove the mercury from her blood. Her body was fighting it, because she _wanted_ to keep it inside. She was scared of getting hurt, afraid of the suffering that awaited her in the outside world.

Afraid of not being needed.

Afraid of not being the Avatar.

Afraid of _being_ the Avatar, completely _alone_.

She did not know herself anymore, and at the same time, she had discovered so much. There was no exterior danger this time, there was no villain waiting to strike, to kill. It was all in her mind. But her mind was powerful enough to destroy her. Sometimes, she was not sure whether or not it was against her will.

She wondered from time to time. So many questions, so many things she had no answers to. And if she had none, who would?

 _Do I want to die?_

Korra knew she did not, but at times, it was too much for her to handle. Pain was easy to escape from, but the cost was too high and irreversible. She would never be strong enough to take her own life.

But she wondered and wondered.

Aang had run away from his destiny once, so it was in her nature to run away from her own grief. But she had never been a runner. She did not dodge, she did not hesitate. She faced problems head-on. Why should this time be any different?

Because she was a coward.

There were people dying every single day, when they only prayed for another day to live. People lost loved ones in the most unexpected, heartbreaking ways. Katara had lost her mother when she was just a little girl, facing the horrors of war. Something a child would never understand. Mako, Bolin and Asami had also had someone taken away from them. There was nothing they would not do to bring them back to life. And here she was, giving up hers in a silver platter. She would never take her own life, but what she was doing, that was not living at all.

A lifeless life or a deathless death, if you will. All because of fear.

She inhaled deeply, concentrating on the metal inside of her. Her arms propelled against her chest, only to push themselves outwards, as if dragging the substance out with her. Beads of sweat traveled down her forehead, her neck, and back, despite the freezing temperatures. She could feel it inside of her, but barely, as she had yet to master Metalbending. Her skin started to protest, a burning sensation growing inside of her. But it was working, she could tell.

Closing her eyes, her hands repeated the pattern, pushing inwards and in the opposite direction. Her chest rose heavily beneath her, as she fought the images of past battles forming in her head. She focused on the poison.

But then, she felt a presence behind her.

"I was thinking about you," Korra smirked, her eyes still closed. Without turning around, her leg flew up, sending a boulder in the intruder's direction. She missed.

 _Of course._

Her body switched, coming face to face with her own reflection. Its eyes, glowing as bright as the moon itself, sent chills down her spine. Korra shrugged them off. The doppelganger did not move, did not flinch. It gave no sign of being alive, but Korra knew, it was probably more alive than she was.

Much similar to the Avatar, the apparition carried chains around her limbs. The brunette reflected that they both had chains of their own, but hers, were invisible. They tied her up, trapping her inside her own brain.

"I can't fight you forever," Korra announced loudly, as if the _thing_ in front of her could understand her, "So I might as well do it now."

Charging at the long-haired vision, she sent hundreds of ice daggers in its direction. The doppelganger moved fast, easily evading all of her attempts. It was too quick, faster than anything she had ever encountered in her life. She bent blasts of air, water and earth, but nothing seemed to disturb the apparition in the slightest. Korra panted heavily, examining her options.

She could always run. She could plead.

But she wouldn't. Not this time.

Her legs and arms moved frantically, embodying every bending stance she had ever learned. Jumping, both legs followed, her body completely horizontal on the air, as a whip of air appeared from her feet. Her doppelganger imitated her movements, charging and striking faster than lightning. The only difference was Korra did not block any.

She moaned, she fell, she cried in pain, she yelped and fell again.

Every time she tried to outsmart it, the doppelganger returned the hit twice as hard. But she could not let _it_ win. No, over her dead body. This ended tonight.

" _Is that all you got?"_ spat the twenty year-old, holding her arms in front of her, anticipating the next blow. But her body was weak, she did not have much time. Her muscles were tensing, her breathing quickening and her limbs shaking. She was not physically fit for this battle.

They both knew it.

" _You can't fight me, and the poison_ ," she heard it say. But it was not her own voice, like she had expected, nor a female voice. It was another one she knew too well. The voice that kept her up at night, the protagonist of her nightmares. Zaheer.

She gasped.

Suddenly, everywhere she turned, there was another one. Another version of her, all with white light igniting from their eyes, wild hair, ripped clothes and metallic shackles.

 _No._

They circled her, slowly closing the distance between them. Her heart was beating its way out of her chest, as she panted.

"Get away from me!" she cried desperately.

Whatever they were, they were not real, she kept reminding herself. The metal around their wrists slashed the air her way, trapping her like a caged animal from every angle. She had no way out. There was nowhere to run, even if she wanted to. She tried to compose herself, but her whole body was panicking. She closed her eyes.

 _This is not real._

 _They're not real._

But how come they felt so alive? She could feel the blood running through their veins, their hearts pumping. They could not be alive. But she could not ignore the blood inside of them, the water inside of their demoniac bodies. Korra felt the moonlight wash over her face, absorbing the power from its fullness.

Her blue eyes bolted open, "You don't control me!" she screamed louder than she had ever before, as her fingers twitched under the chains. Before she could process what was happening, the bodies in front of her hovered in the air in front of her, twisting and turning against her sudden power. Korra's eyes opened with terror.

She looked up to the sky, her vision landed on the moon.

 _Impossible._

The apparitions moved simultaneously with her fingers, following her commands. Korra wanted to cease what she was doing, she felt disgusted with herself. But she struggled to release them from her grasp.

She could stop them now. A swift flinch of her hands, and she could end this.

Only then, she felt the earth spring up, capturing her and covering her whole body; similar to what Aang had done to Yakone before taking his bending.

Blinking back to reality, she saw people running towards her. The guests from the party. Her eyes followed the line of bodies laying the ground, the bodies she had _bent._

To her shock, none of them looked like herself anymore. Her head started to feel like it was setting itself on fire, as she saw no glowing eyes, no chains, no brunette hair. They were no visions at all.

They were actual people.

And as she scanned the bodies further, one of the silhouettes caught her attention.

The unconscious person seemed to be wearing a _red scarf_.

 _No. No. No._

She was shaken harshly by a pair of strong hands, "Korra, what have you done?!" she heard someone yell, just as she lost consciousness herself.

 _Korra did not remember her twentieth birthday._

* * *

 **A/N:** I don't even know where to start. Another fast update thanks to last chapter's amazing reviews. Anyways, a few notes:

1\. I hope you noticed that it was indeed Korra who said "I love you."

2\. Korra, not unlike Katara, only bloodbent as a self defense mechanism. It was not intentional, they both hated it. That is some dark bending no Avatar, nor Person, should ever do. Plus, it shows the cracks in her spirit at the time.

3\. The last scene is parallel to Korra fighting her evil spirit in the Earth Kingdom, when in reality she was sparring an Earthbender woman in a street-fighting ring.

Don't forget to let me know what you think. Thoughts, questions, suggestions are always welcomed.

 **Thank you for reading.**


	11. XI

" _You must never give into despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength._ _"_

– **Iroh**

* * *

 **XI**

" _Get away from me!"_

He could feel his chest working its way out of his body with every violent beat. He had to get to her. He _needed to_. Despite the distance between them, he was able to hear her desperate screams loud and clear. And although he did not know what was happening, her voice drove his legs to sprint as fast as possible. Whatever it was, it was nowhere near bad. It was already beyond that, he could feel it. That _bad_ line was crossed a long time ago.

Since the moment she had disappeared earlier that night, he had noticed her absence. Her presence was too powerful for him to ignore, even when she tried to blend in with the crowd. He had known that she had left, of course. But he wanted to give her the privacy that she well deserved. He trusted her enough to let her take care of herself, to make her own wise decisions.

The real problem was that she did not trust herself to do so.

After the first couple of hours, he had decided to look for her. He had checked every possible hiding place where she could have been. All, except one. That _certain_ place he had found her in, after she had recovered her bending years ago. She could have been there, but Naga was close to the party grounds, and there was no way Korra could have walked there.

Mako should have known that there was always a way with Korra.

People seemed to be unaffected by the missing Avatar, but he confided his worries to Asami and his brother, seeing that the brunette was nowhere to be found. His ex-girlfriend had panicked the second he told her what was bothering him, while Bolin had dismissed the case with a joke. The humorous glint in his green eyes vanished when the seriousness in his brother's posture caught his attention.

Soon enough, more people were dragged into the search when the World Leaders were alerted of the Avatar's unknown whereabouts. The White Lotus Guards, ever concerned about Korra's well-being, along with Chief Beifong, left the area on snowmobiles to inspect the cliff that Mako had told them about. If trouble arose, they had promised to signal the remaining guests at the celebration.

Even though Mako had already looked for her around the zone, everyone else decided to do it again to make sure. So did he. He had to do something while he waited, feeling helpless and impatient, but the Firebender already knew where she was. _Damn it._ He should have joined the White Lotus on their mission.

After what seemed like a lifetime, a string of lightning illuminated the night sky in the distance. No one waited any longer, jumping on vehicles of their own. Tonraq and Suyin drove one, and the dark-haired brothers followed close behind.

The icy path seemed to lengthen before him. His breathing quickened with anticipation, his inner warmth guarding him against the bitter frost of the South Pole. He forgot about everything else surrounding him, people and environment alike.

He only focused on the sound of her voice.

And he had heard that broken tone many times before, during the intimacy of the night, when he held her against him until she could find peace, if only for a second.

But now, he was not holding her. And she was not dreaming.

It was a living nightmare.

The cliff appeared in his field of vision enough for him to recognize the silhouettes, and his fears became true when he saw a girl in a blue dress trapped by metal wires. She struggled against the cables, unable to free herself.

" _You don't control me!"_

He was getting closer, but he could feel her slipping. He had to get to her before she hurt anyone. Or before she hurt herself. He jumped off the snowmobile, the rest of the crew running fast behind him.

"Korra!" the Water Tribe Chief screamed, trying to get the attention of his daughter to no avail. She continued to move under the metal, as the White Lotus circled her. He could hear Lin trying to calm the young Avatar down, but her attempts were as unsuccessful as Tonraq's.

They were on their way to the top of the steep rock, when he saw hell break loose in slow motion.

Her chest rose and fell steadily, even though her eyes were wild and hectic. There was something very unsettling about her, which sent chills down his spine, the hair at the back of his neck springing up. He observed the brunette's head tilt back, her blue eyes meeting the moonlight above her.

He knew what was going to happen.

Everyone knew.

"No!" Mako's voice surged for the first time, followed by the similar pleads of the other's. But they were too late.

The wires detached themselves from the girl, as the Guards and the Chief of Police fell to the ground, their bodies contorting grotesquely under the invisible wrath of the Avatar.

"Korra!"

A familiar sense of terror filled his lungs, as he remembered his own experience with the dark bending art. He watched the bodies levitating, and he could _feel_ their pain. He knew what it felt like.

Blood appeared from one of the guard's mouth due to the bloodbending, covering his neck with the crimson liquid.

"Stop her!"

The leader of Zaofu launched her arms forward, the earth rumbling beneath her. The small earthquake reached the Avatar, as the soil captured her in its solid grasp. Immediately after, the victims made contact with the ground after being released from the clutch of the 20 year-old.

"Korra, what have you done?!" her father yelled as he tried to shake the girl into consciousness, both arms on her shoulders, but her eyes were already closing, losing grip on reality.

" _Spirits_ ," Suyin said under her breath as she knelt next to her sister.

"Is she okay?" the green-eyed brother asked as the men aided the White Lotus Guards. He received a nod in response, "What about the others?"

Mako held Korra in his arms, as he checked on the guards. He gulped when he saw a red-covered white uniform.

"We have a problem."

* * *

"Bloodbending has been illegal for decades, and as we all know, its practice is punishable by law," the President of the United Republic reminded the rest of the leaders, who accompanied him in the council meeting. "It is something we cannot simply ignore," silence engulfed the table as the reality of last night's events processed in their minds.

For minutes, none of them spoke of the incident, consumed by their own thoughts. All of them had something to say, yet, it seemed that the crime was too unsettling to address. Not only because of the nature of the felony itself, but because of the person behind the action.

The Southern Water Tribe man grunted in annoyance, although he was actually scared of what could happen after the meeting, "No one is asking you to ignore this, Raiko. But this is Korra we're talking about."

"And because she is your daughter," the politician started, staring daggers at the long-haired Chief, "Does it justify her deeds?"

"No, but–"

"She might be the Avatar, but what she has done cannot be overlooked," spat the man with the circular glasses.

"Korra is ill!" countered Tonraq as he rose from his sit to face the President.

"Enough!" the voice of the youngest of the Beifong sisters was heard from the other side of the table, "Raiko, whatever it is that you plan to do with Korra, it is not happening," the threat was palpable in her tone. Even though she had met Korra only a couple of years ago, she would do anything to protect her. After everything they had been through, they were all family.

"This is not a personal matter. This is the law," the man in the blue jacket clarified as he turned to one of the victims of the assault, "Isn't that right, _Chief_ Beifong?"

The green-eyed woman carrying a cast on her arm sighed, "I'm afraid so," she looked at Korra's father apologetically.

"Lin!" exclaimed her sister, her mouth hanging open at the sign of betrayal.

"In spite of the fact that it is the law indeed," explained the daughter of Toph Beifong, her eyes traveling around the table until they landed on Raiko, "The Avatar did not seem to be aware of what was happening. We cannot punish someone in such psychological condition," unbeknownst to the rest, a victorious grin crept up on the younger sister.

"We understand that the girl suffered greatly," the Republic City President sympathized as he spoke, no one around the table believed said _empathy_ , "Bloodbending is still unacceptable. She needs to be controlled."

"You understand nothing," hissed Tonraq quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. He tried to maintain his calmness but the man was getting on his nerves. He was aware of the off and ongoing clash between his daughter and the current President, but he did not expect him to resent Korra as much as he did, "And Korra's punishment is not in your hands. This is not the United Republic, you do not make the rules here."

"I am aware of that. But the Avatar will want to return to Republic City one day, won't she?" he explained cockily, knowing he had made his point.

Tonraq closed his mouth at the concealed ultimatum. And as much as he wanted to hate this man, he knew he was right _to some extent_. It was not any crime and not any person. She was the Avatar, and as such, she belonged to the world. What she did affected others, and despite her condition, she was still responsible.

"It is evident that she is not recovering as well as we thought. Perhaps she should return to the White Lotus compound."

Angry voices rose at his suggestion, but at the end of the table sat a quiet figure, who continued analyzing the behavior of those around her. Her hands were linked, her elbows supported on the table. Clearing her throat, four pairs of eyes turned in her direction.

"I believe President Raiko is right," the Fire Lord announced, adjusting the glasses over her golden eyes.

"You're not imprisoning Korra–" grunted the Earthbender, narrowing her green eyes at the President and blaming him for the idea.

"If I may, Suyin," interrupted the woman dressed in typical Fire Nation royal robes, the golden flame crown raising high above her head, "Avatar Korra will not be imprisoned. That being said, the South Pole seems to be an unfit environment for her recuperation."

The other adults around the table fell silent after her speech, thinking of what Izumi had said. Even before the meeting, they had all thought of it, but no one dared to bring it up. After all, Korra was an adult. A relocation should be only her decision, but they seemed to have no other choice.

"I have spoken with my father about this concern," continued the daughter of Lord Zuko, "The Avatar should continue her training elsewhere, and in the process, find the enlightenment she needs in order to recover fully."

"What are you suggesting?"

"The girl should go to the Fire Nation. As you probably already know, her firebending has weakened. I believe the ways of lightning will aid her in finding peace and balance within her mind. By rediscovering her fire, she will rediscover herself."

"Then why doesn't she go back to Zaofu with me?" invited Suyin, "I'm certain that improving her Metalbending, and exploring other Earthbending arts could help significantly in this matter."

"Considering the fact that she needs to remove the poison, I believe it's the best thing to do," the Chief of South Pole consented, unable to stop sadness from invading his body at the thought of his only child leaving him again, "But I must insist on withholding a decision until Katara and Tenzin have returned from the Southern Air Temple."

"Regardless of the outcome of this meeting, Korra will still have to answer for what happened."

Four heads assented with a sad nod.

* * *

He found himself in front of her door again.

Whether or not it was a good idea to see her, he did not care. It was during these times that he was more than certain that she was out of his reach. He could not shake off _that_ feeling.

Fear.

He was not scared of her, but he was somehow afraid of what she was capable of. She would never hurt him intentionally. In fact, she would never hurt anyone that did not deserve it. But that was what worried him. The line between reality and fantasy were blurred at this point, and although she would never do something as horrible as bloodbending in her right mind, she could still _unintentionally_ do it.

But she needed him.

Whatever he felt or thought at the back of his brain, he would push it all aside to be with her. He would support her no matter what, especially when she had no control over what happened. And he knew she had not only lost control of her surroundings, she had also lost control of herself.

Knocking softly on the door, he inhaled deeply. He waited a few seconds until the door finally opened, revealing a black-haired woman with green eyes, "Asami," he acknowledged with a nod.

"Mako," she inclined her head as well and he noted that her voice trembled slightly, "Is it true?"

"Yes," he whispered, looking around the room for the Avatar. He did not find her.

"How could this happen?" she muttered loudly, her eyes restless as they moved from side to side, "It's impossible."

"I don't know," the Firebender rubbed his eyes roughly, frustration crystal clear in his voice, "Spirits, I don't know."

Golden and green met the floor, unable to look at each other, afraid of what they would find in them. They were both afraid. It was not about the bloodbending anymore, they feared that Korra would never recover. They _had_ to believe she could, but it was difficult to.

Finally breaking the silence, he questioned, "Where is she?"

The Sato Heiress pointed to the bathroom door, "She's been there for hours."

"Doing what?"

Blinking a couple of times, her eyebrows knitted in doubt, "I am not sure. Nothing?" she said, but it sounded more like a question. "I've been brushing her hair while she lays there. She refuses to get out, but did not tell me to leave, so that is a good sign."

"Oh," was all he could say. His frowned expression matched hers, as he moved towards the other door.

"Maybe you should not go in there–"

He shot her an annoyed glare, "Why?"

"She's naked."

Rolling his eyes, he disregarded her comment. His hand grasped the doorknob, before turning it to the side. The darkness of the room sank in his vision, only lit by a couple of weak candles nearby. In the middle was an inground tub, where the object of his affection laid.

His fears seemed to dissipate the moment golden met blue, and the pain in her eyes cracked his heart open more than it already was.

Asami felt the shift in his emotions as well, completely astonished by the way he cared for the young Avatar. She had seen it before, many years ago, when the girl had been kidnapped by Tarrlok. It was a beautiful, dysfunctional kind of love, she had to admit. She was not blind at the time, and sensed that he loved Korra right there and then.

She was not blind today either.

They matured, they changed, and so did their love. If the current time were not so grim and horrific, she would have even smiled at their gestures.

The Future Industries Owner studied his movements, as he reached the edge of the inground tub. He sat cross-legged, his hand finding the cheek of the brunette, forcing her to face him. The girl did not object, leaning into his touch, and closed her eyes. Despite the emptiness that seemed to surround the Avatar, Asami could tell that she somewhat enjoyed the affections.

The nose of the Firebender caressed her right cheekbone, his hand still holding the left one. He muttered words that the raven-haired woman could not decipher, and she started to feel embarrassed for witnessing such an intimate moment.

Their foreheads connected, their noses touching one another, as the man continued to whisper comforting words inches away from the brunette's lips. Their eyes were closed, but it was tangible that there was some kind of invisible force bringing them together, expressing whatever their eyes and mouths could not.

The dark-haired man continued talking under his breath, the girl nodding every now and then, their foreheads still in contact. Before any of them realized what was happening, the Avatar's palm found his neck, fondling the skin lovingly.

Asami hung open.

She could only stare at the display in front of her. It was so disturbingly touching.

"Korra, what happened–" the tenderness in his tone would have made anyone skip a beat, "It was not your fault."

His eyes met Asami's, encouraging her to intervene, "He's right. No one blames you for it."

"But please, talk to me," he gulped, stroking her hair gently, "To us. We care about you."

Time seemed to freeze as she refused to look at them.

It felt familiar, her distance.

They waited and waited.

Nothing.

Suddenly, several knocks were heard through the door, "Avatar Korra–"

Clearing her throat, Korra's voice surfaced from her trance, her eyes still meeting no one. "It's time to take my life back," the determination in her volume surprising the other two, showing a glimpse of the old Avatar, "And take responsibility."

"We're here to escort you to your trial," the men outside continued.

"Trial?" Golden and green eyes widened, "Korra, what are they talking about?"

The Avatar exited the tub, wrapping a robe around her body. She reached the door, grabbing the knob.

Her eyes finally locked with theirs, one at a time, blue as cold and dark as the Southern nights themselves. Her vision lingered longer on Mako.

"Didn't you hear? The White Lotus guard did not survive."

* * *

 **A/N:** So that is Chapter 11. Again, how could I not update as soon as possible when your reviews were so encouraging? They make my days, honestly. Keep them coming.

A few notes:

1\. When Korra saw someone with a **red scarf** during last chapter, it was actually blood on someone else. Despite the instability of her condition, it was the fear of hurting Mako (in her mind she thought she did), which snapped her back to reality, among other things.

2\. I believe Korra would not be exonerated of charges thanks to her Avatar Status. Bloodbending is illegal, and law is above most people.

3\. It's interesting to write about Makorra from Asami's perspective. I've always seen her as a great friend, and can see her being happy for Korra, even if it's with someone else. But yes, this is hypothetically speaking.

 **Leave a review and let me know what you think. Your opinion makes me want to do better and update faster.**

 **Thank you for reading!**


	12. XII

**A/N:** Part 1 of the trial ready. I got inspired by Tyrion's from Game of Thrones, they're not similar at all, but inspiration must come from somewhere. "I did not kill Joffrey, BUT I WISH THAT I HAD." Epic, honestly.

Also, shout-out to _StevenBodner_ for his suggestions on this chapter.

* * *

" _We can't concern ourselves with what was_. We must act on what is."

– **Gyatso**

* * *

 **XII**

"Katara!" exclaimed the brunette as her arms enveloped the Waterbender.

In return, a pair of wrinkled arms encircled around her waist, radiating that distinguished maternal love that she had so greatly missed.

"I came back as soon as I heard," the previously absent woman explained comfortingly, separating from the girl and covering young hands in hers.

Korra turned to the door, where two White Lotus members stood, before a scowl invaded her face, "Would you mind?" she subsequently signaled the exit with just the typical amount of rudeness that the situation demanded, "I am not running away."

The uniformed men looked at each other from the corner of their eyes, before eyeing the girl and her companion. The elder nodded at them reassuringly, and only then did the guards abandon the room. Their attention returned to one another, as they found furniture to sit on.

"I am so glad you are here," the Avatar expressed wholeheartedly, releasing a breath she did not even know she was holding. She felt her bottled up emotions surge up as the intimacy of the chamber sank in.

She felt scared.

Not because of the trial per se, she was sure. There was no reason to fear the legal procedure, since it was more of a formality than anything else. After all, at least half of the people who composed the jury were friends of hers, if not family. She trusted them to make the decision they considered best, and she particularly trusted them to overpower the decision of _those_ who did not necessarily want what was best for her. It was all about subjectivity and objectivity.

She wondered then how they would regard the issue if their love towards her did not play a role.

But what she feared was the fact that she would have to come face to face with the horrible crime she had committed, something she had yet to accept herself. How could anyone grasp the idea of taking a life so swiftly? She could not and would never.

She feared being _feared._ By those around her, by people who did not know her and also by those who knew her too well. Korra did not want to be seen as a monster, like Yakone and Tarrlok and Amon. Yet, what had made them such horrible human beings was something she now shared. Partly. Having experienced bloodbending first-handedly, she could not believe she could have ever practiced it on someone else. It was something she would have never wished on anyone, much less do so herself.

Apparently not.

It was the darkest bending art for a reason. No one had the right to possess, to take _by force_ , that power over someone. She knew that.

Spirits, _she knew that._

Katara opened her mouth to speak, but her pupil interrupted even before she began, "I did not mean to do it," her voice trembled with every word, volume dropping, "You have to believe me."

"I know," the Waterbending Master assured as she squeezed the other's hand.

"I am so sorry, Katara," blue eyes began to burn as hot tears threatened to escape against her will, "All this time, I kept trying to convince myself that I could do this on my own, that I was only hurting myself," her hands found her face, where she buried them, "I ended up hurting others."

The elder did not answer, and for that, Korra was grateful. This was not the time to pour out the stereotypical comforting speeches such as "everyone makes mistakes" or "everything will be okay." They were all aware of what she had done, and there was no turning back. It was not a game nor a simple wrongdoing, but something not even her Avatar status could erase.

She had blood on her hands, blood that would never be washed off.

Rubbing her hands forcefully, she muttered, "I killed someone," her hands stroked one another, unable to remove the invisible crimson liquid, "I killed someone."

The elder embraced the hurting woman, a little girl once again, letting her aged hand pat her back ever so slightly. Feeling the warmth of the Waterbender, the brunette fought out a choked sob.

And with that, tears streamed uncontrollably down her face.

"I would have never– I didn't–" Korra started, but her cries stopped her midsentence, words dying in her throat with each weep, "Please, forgive me."

The other woman hushed her calmly, rocking her like she would when her own children were younger. She allowed her to let everything out, and cry as loud as she desired and needed.

After what seemed like an eternity, and the sobs became less audible, Katara whispered to the seemingly asleep girl, "Before we go to the trial, I would like to tell you a story."

The Avatar's back straightened at the sudden seriousness of her mentor, the comfort in her voice had vanished and the stern look on her face perked up Korra's curiosity. The hairs at the back of her neck sprang up, unable to blink away from the grey-haired woman's expression.

"It's time for me to tell you about a Waterbender called Hama. And the first time I bloodbent."

* * *

"What are _you_ supposed to be doing here?"

She sat on the hard wooden chair the middle of the now courtroom, crossing her arms over her chest as she eyed the intruder from head to toes.

"Good question, Korra!" the man stared off into the distance with wide eyes, " _What are_ _any of us doing here_?"

The Avatar grunted in response, "You have said that before," her impatient eyes narrowing at the brunette businessman.

"Do _you_ have the answer then?" Varrick pondered, propping his elbows on the table in front of her. His face was very close to hers, and her immediate reaction was to lean back on the chair.

"Well, no, but–"

"Exactly! As I was saying before being rudely interrupted," he continued despite Korra's _I did not interrupt anything._ "I am your lawyer!" announced the man proudly.

The woman's mouth hung open slightly at the revelation, "You're joking," she blinked repeatedly in confusion, "What do you know about law anyways? You tried to kidnap the president!"

"Allegedly!" the entrepreneur corrected, staring at her blue eyes. Korra gladly accepted the challenge, aggressively focusing her field of vision on him, "Great spirit, Korra. I like you! Zhu Li–"

The twenty year old let her forehead hit the table, allowing herself to ignore her surroundings. _This will be worse than I thought, if that is even possible_ , she reflected.

The room started to become crowded around her. Bodies dressed in blue, yellow, green and red filled the seats behind her until there was almost no space available. Her breathing accelerated by the second, as her fears consumed her mind once more. She had not anticipated the size of the public, which continued to expand, making her throat close and her heart-rate quicken. Her chest rose and fell spasmodically, and her eyes darted back and forth, looking for any exit she could find. She had to repeat a mantra in her head to stop herself from bolting out of the place.

 _You're not scared of anything._

 _You're Avatar Korra._

 _Accept what you did._

 _Take responsibility._

Before she had the chance to get up from the chair, a hand fell on her shoulder, as if sensing her anxiety. She looked at the person who had given birth to her, one of the people she loved the most. The middle-aged woman leaned down to place a soft peck on her daughter's forehead, her blue eyes as calm as water itself. Or as calm as water _should_ be.

"I will be supporting you from here," her mother's eyes landed on the majestic U-shaped table at the front of the room. Seven chairs accompanying it, where each jury would sit, "Your father will be supporting you from there."

Soon enough, those chairs were being occupied by seven figures. From left to right, there were two almost identical twins dressed in Water Tribe pelts, a grey-haired woman with metal ornaments over a green robe, the president of the United Republic, a woman covered in typical Fire Nation royal garments, a tattooed Air Nomad and the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe.

"Let us begin."

* * *

"As we all know," started one White Lotus authority, grey hair accommodated on the sides of his head, a bald space at the front. His elegant navy robes were topped by an ornamented white fabric on his upper torso, "After the formation of the United Republic of Nations, Bloodbending was proclaimed illegal. Thanks to the influence of a certain person in this room, it was possible to ban this horrific activity."

All eyes around the room flew immediately towards Katara, before returning to the man having a word. He, too, looked at the Waterbender, but soon after, his vision fixed on the council in front of where he was standing. He continued, "In every context and under any circumstances, should this bending art be punished severely.

The Avatar has already admitted to her crime, there is no doubt in that. Nevertheless, it is our duty in this courtroom today to make sure that justice prevails. As no one should be above law, especially the Avatar, who is _supposed_ to bring balance and peace to the world. Bloodbending is nowhere near balance, the opposite even. Therefore, regardless of her mental instability, Korra should answer to her actions, as the adult _she_ claims to be."

Korra felt her eyes twitch at the words of the White Lotus member. Her fist clenched at her sides, the skin on her knuckles turning white. She was not completely sure why, there was no reason for her to be getting angry. The man spoke the truth. However, she was growing angrier every day. More frustrated, more tired, more anxious.

Sometimes the reason was unknown to her, sometimes it was due to small things, sometimes the contrary.

"Varrick, you may proceed now," motioned the Metalbender sitting with the rest of the World Leaders.

The White Lotus Leader took a seat, and the billionaire magnate found his way to the front of the room. He bowed gracefully, one arm holding his abdomen, the other flying behind his back, "As someone with an _allegedly_ questionable record with the law, I've taken my time to look into this particular case," he explained "I read about Bloodbending for some good 15 minutes before attending this procedure."

"To the point, Varrick."

"Although the man with the bald hair is indeed right about the penalties of the Bloodbending practice," he hand signaled to his predecessor on the stand, "It cannot be ignored that Avatar Korra is not a normal case.

After dealing with another crazy bald man from the Red Lotus, she was poisoned, she could not walk, yadda yadda–" Varrick continued, his hands moving in a circular pattern. The spectators, and specifically the Avatar herself, felt the need to hit their forehead with their palms. "The deathly venom took a toll on the girl, and we can all agree that if any of us went through what she did, we would have kicked the bucket long ago."

The audience nodded their heads, concentrating on the confident businessman, "This young lady has battled a creepy masked Bloodbender, _the_ dark Spirit itself, Unalaq, even though no one cares about him–"

"Focus."

"Yes, yes. And finally, a group of maniacs, whose life purpose was to destroy the Avatar cycle and some other philosophical mumbo-jumbo. And let's consider, the girl was like 13 years old at the time."

Korra's eyebrows knitted in confusion, "I was 18–"

"Don't interrupt the mastermind, kid," the brunette entrepreneur whispered close to the Avatar's ear, before turning his attention back to the jury, his fingertips placed against their respective pair, "The point is, the Avatar has had more near death experiences than probably most of us combined. She even reminds me of the brave Nuktuk–" he stared into the distance, his hand over his heart, "And the good she has done for this world, for all of us, will not be forgotten. For Zhu Li's sake, we avoided ten thousand years of darkness thanks to her. And let me tell you, this face was not ready for total darkness," he index pointed at himself.

"So of course she's a little insane. But can you blame her? We have all done things we're not proud of. Some would even claim I attempted to _abduct_ the president," the lawyer made air quotes with his fingers, "And at least three people in this room have tried to kill an Avatar. So let's not talk about mistakes."

The people around the room seemed to relax at his speech, the fear dissolving slowly into thin air, studying the words that Varrick had mouthed, "If any of you believe there is anyone walking on Earth more selfless than this girl right here–" his finger landed on a surprised Korra, "You're sadly mistaken."

The Avatar blinked quickly, her blue eyes filling with shock, and quite honestly, admiration. She could feel herself buying every single syllable he had said, even though it was all about her. There was a reason this man was so successful, after all. It had nothing to do with what he said, but the way he said it.

"Shall we summon the first witness?"

* * *

Korra had to admit that despite of the severity of the situation, she felt undeniably bored.

And annoyed. Mostly annoyed.

Having heard several witnesses, who barely knew her, for the last half an hour was utterly excruciating. Granted, they were still witnesses, and their testimonies were somehow obligatory for the jury to decide her fate. But really, listening to White Lotus guard that had only ever locked eyes with her for a brief moment was completely unnecessary.

And sure, some of them she had bloodbent, so that made sense. But couldn't they find a more exciting ways to say they thought she was crazy? All of them parroted the other. She hoped they were getting paid for doing that, otherwise, they needed to find more interesting hobbies.

Rage brewed inside of her, as she listened to their statements. None of them knew anything about her other than what she had done, yet, they spoke with such confidence, as if they understood what had happened. And even then, they were only aware of their own biased perspective.

For the last few minutes, she had listened to Asami answer the questions the other witnesses had. Korra was glad that at least one familiar face showed up on the stand, to speak up for her. Someone that actually had an idea of what was going through her mind.

"–It was overwhelming for her, dealing with the physical barrier. When you try so hard to deal with your own problems, and on top of that, you can't even take care of yourself anymore. I mean, could you even imagine not being able to walk? Of course that would affect anyone," the raven-haired woman cooed in that soothing way, and she could have sworn the public aww'd in unison. Typical persuasive business talk, the Avatar thought. Impressive, really.

"Thank you, Mrs. Sato, you may leave the stand," the White Lotus leader dismissed as he commanded the next witness to approach. A tall man appeared in the room, golden eyes meeting hers, and her tongue dried in her mouth. She watched as the authority asked the Firebender a few questions, but she ignored his voice, focusing only on the male in front of her.

Even though his vision stayed put on the person interrogating him, his eyes would find her for the shortest of seconds every now and then, to let her know he had her back. And he always would. His mouth moved continuously, and she tried to force herself to pay attention, since she wanted listen to what he was saying.

But she could barely hold her concentration for over five seconds. She felt too anxious, too guilty.

"Has the Avatar ever mentioned anything about bloodbending?"

He shook his head sternly, his forehead creasing.

"Did you ever suspect she possessed such ability?"

"No," narrowing his eyes at the man, Mako clarified, "That's because she didn't."

"You seem eager to guarantee her innocence. Why is that?"

"I think I would know if my _girlfriend_ was a Bloodbender on her spare time," spat the Firebender, before realizing what he had said, the warmth on his cheeks making its way up his neck, "This was evidently an accident on her part, and it is a mockery of justice to punish someone in her condition. No, she's not crazy. But she's human."

The Avatar lips mouthed a _thank you_ , which he easily caught. She could see the red still tinting his complexion. They had not talked about the whole relationship dilemma before, they kind of just let things… happen as they went. Clearly, he had not meant to confess to a crowd in the middle of a very serious case that they were together. He was too reserved and secretive for that.

Regardless, the people around the room did not seem to mind or acknowledge his comment. It was minimal, unnoticeable to the normal ear. But she noticed, and he knew she did. Did she mind?

Not at all.

"So how do you believe someone, who had never bloodbent, was able to successfully out of nowhere?"

Her anger was reaching its boiling point.

He grunted. It was a very good question indeed, something everyone was asking themselves. The Avatar herself did not understand how she had done it, but she did. It just happened. "I don't know," he admitted in defeat. He had yet to talk to Korra about what had driven her to bloodbend, but he had no doubt that it had something, or everything, to do with her hallucinations.

"Everyone in this room is aware of Korra's physical supremacy as far as bending is concerned, which could be the reason she was able to excel at this atrocious doing without previous experience."

Along with anger, guilt was growing stronger within her. But as always, it was anger that overtook her.

"It is the spiritual side, however, where her weaknesses lay."

The accused abandoned her chair abruptly, gaining the attention of every soul in the room, "I am not weak!" her voice rose behind him, overshadowing that of the White Lotus and the whispers of the audience alike.

The man dressed in the White Lotus robes disregarded her comment, keeping his focus on the jury, "For said reason, the Order believes Korra needs an undisturbed environment for her to heal fully."

"I am not going back to that secluded compound. The world needs me," the words escaped from her gritted teeth, tinted with hate. They were followed by the first words she had said to him when she was only four years old, "I'm the Avatar, you gotta deal with it!"

"The world needs its Avatar indeed. That being said, you are not the Avatar you _used_ to be. Your recuperation is our priority now. The world can wait," he stressed, causing her eyes to narrow, "It is because of your spiritual unbalance that you have caused such turmoil lately."

Allowing her fury to consume every corner of her being, she yelled, "You know nothing about me!" the fists, which were tightly pressed into balls, slammed on the table in front of her, leaving a dent on the hard surface. The sudden aggressive move alerted everyone around the room, men in White Lotus uniforms started to approach her carefully.

As she stood from her chair, her mother, who was still at her side, tugged gently at her shirt, "Sweetheart, please calm down."

"No!" she exclaimed, yanking her arm away from Senna. Although she immediately regretted being so harsh against her mother, her rage at most people in the room took over her body. The public was staring at her wide-eyed because of her sudden outburst. Most of them were scared, she noted. Others, such as the World Leaders, were observing her warily, as if anticipating her next move.

"I made a mistake, okay?" her speech continued, the wrath dissipating slightly, replaced by the guilt that was devouring her from the inside. Not unlike during her conversation her Waterbending teacher, she felt burning liquid sting her eyes. But she would never cry in front of that many people in this lifetime. _Ever_. "I am not running away from the consequences. I can't take it back, I _wish_ that I could, but I can't."

The World leaders maintained their gaze on her, permitting her to extend her speech, even though she shouldn't have been allowed to.

"About the other night–" she opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to select the right words to express her frustration, "That _does not_ define me. Everything I've done in the past for this world, for _your_ city–" an accusing finger pointed towards the president of the United Republic, their eyes locking for a few seconds in what seemed like a staring contest, "–does not simply disappear because of a horrible mistake."

"And yes, I bloodbent! I had never done it before, nor do I want to ever do it again," she exhaled loudly, her eyes examining part of the public, one by one. They were full with terror. They were scared of _her_ , "That does not make me a Bloodbender. And if you are going to be scared of me, be afraid of the fact that I need no bending whatsoever to hurt any of you. I am the Avatar. _I am not weak."_

With a rapid move of her leg, a blast of air sent the table in front of her across the room, and then she moved towards the closest exit. The guards were already around her, ready to control her, before one authority spoke up.

"We will have a short pause now, the trial will continue momentarily."

* * *

"There you are."

A body leaned on the balcony railing next to her. Even with a couple of inches separating their arms, she could still feel the heat radiating off him.

"That was… interesting," he said slowly, studying her features as he spoke. Her eyes did not shift, her body did not tense. She was just admiring the landscape in front of her, breathing in the essence of every element she had mastered.

"I bet," she scoffed, placing her hand on top of his, without looking at him. The warmth of his palm doubled at her touch, "So, girlfriend, huh?"

His pale skin crimsoned at her accusation, matching the color of the red scarf he once wore, "I did not plan for it to come out like that," saying sheepishly, his hand grew slightly sweaty, and she could not help but chuckle at his boyish nervousness.

He answered with a smile, not because of his awkwardness, like she had, but because she seemed somewhat happy. In spite of everything that was happening, the seriousness of it all, she had managed to laugh. He could not help but respect her a little more, and could not also help but think she looked even more beautiful, if that was even possible.

"They are waiting for you inside," he announced quietly, his smile disappearing from his lips along with hers, "This whole thing will be over soon."

She walked in the direction of the courtroom, hands in his, as she said under her breath, "It will never be over."

* * *

 **A/N:** That is it for Chapter 12. A few notes:

1\. I hope you liked the Macbeth parallel, with the invisible blood and whatnot.

2\. The trial is more similar to Yakone's in Book 1, rather than Tonraq's in Book 2, with a council rather than one judge. No judge here.

3\. Katara will make an appearance in court next chapter.

 **Let me know what you think, I'd appreciate the reviews, and they certainly motivate me to update faster.**

 **Thank you for reading.**


	13. XIII

" _Accept the reality that these things happened, but do not let them cloud and poison your energy. If you are to be a positive influence on the world, you need to forgive yourself. "_

– _ **Guru Pathik**_

* * *

 **XIII**

She had returned to her seat, tens of eyes fixed on her. Some were alarmed, some were scared, and some were even amused. The World Leaders remained as expressionless as ever.

"We will continue with the process–" started one on the authorities behind the moon-shaped table, circular glasses atop his nose bridge. The president of the United Republic continued, locking eyes with the accused herself, "–Solely if the Avatar vows not to interrupt again. It will _not_ be tolerated."

Instead of waiting for her response, he motioned with his hand for the prosecutor to restart the procedure. Korra's unfortunate defense, at least in her opinion, joined the center of the room. He bowed gracefully, for the second time of the day, before speaking up.

"Thank you, esteemed jury, and _Raiko_ ," he stressed his dislike for the leader of Republic City, and the blue-eyed girl was surprised at his sneakiness when it came to disrespecting authority under the table, "I would like to invite Katara to enlighten us with her testimony."

Soon enough, said woman abandoned her chair, located somewhere behind the Avatar, and stopped on the podium. The young brunette felt a little relieved, but also nervous. There was something very macabre about the story that her Waterbending Master had told her earlier. She had failed to push it to the back of her mind, as images of a sinister old woman bloodbending in the moonlight crept up her head. Like a _puppet master._

She had never met Hama, but the mere thought of her was enough to send whips of chills up her spine. And Korra knew, as soon as she had heard the name, that a new face would be appearing in her nightmares tonight.

"Master Katara, radiant as usual. I am still waiting the lavender recipe, by the way–" the leaders, along with the public, narrowed their eyes at Varrick's usual antics. The collection of raised eyebrows must've caught his attention, as he straightened his back and continued, "Anyway, you've been the Avatar's mentor since she was very young. And not just any mentor. Would you mind sharing how you're related to the girl?"

"I was her Waterbending teacher. I am now her healer."

"Aha!" exclaimed the successful entrepreneur, his index finger raised as if an idea had crossed his mind, "So obviously you would know better than anyone else if she had a few screws loose, correct?"

The elder blinked a few times in confusion, her eyes moving from Korra to her impromptu lawyer, "Yes, I would know if Korra was mentally ill," she corrected the man's _interesting_ usage of words.

"And had there been any signs of dangerous behavior, you would have surely alerted the council."

"Yes," answered the Waterbender confidently, "The council has in fact received reports about Korra's recovery for months."

"And nothing involving Bloodbending. Is that safe to assume?"

Katara's eyes landed on Korra for a moment, and the Avatar could not tell what it meant. She felt slightly uneasy, maybe because her teacher would possibly reveal her darkest secrets to an open public, all for her sake.

"Nothing involving Bloodbending," the grey-haired woman repeated with a nod.

"So what exactly were the reports about?" he asked, encouraging the old woman to give more details on the matter, "What type of illness are we talking about exactly? Did she talk to herself? Sit in a corner and pretend she was a turtle-duck?"

Her expression remained unaffected by his peculiar manner of speech, her eyes never losing the seriousness in them, "As a healer, I cannot divulge a patient's private information. That is my final, and only answer regarding that question."

Korra could not help but feel moved by her healer's loyalty. Even if they both knew that Katara's information would probably release her from all charges, she still said nothing. The brunette was grateful for that.

The businessman pouted at the lack of collaboration he was getting from his witness, "This is what seems to be worrying the crowd, Doc," he started, his right hand pressed against his chin, as in engaged in thought, "How could someone, who had never bloodbent, suddenly be able to do it to such extremes? We know she's the Avatar, with the glowy eyes and whatnot. But it's still unsettling."

"As it had been stated before, Korra has always been a prodigy in the physical side of bending, making her an exceptional Waterbender," the elder explained, her volume steady and assertive, "However, she struggles with spirituality. In order to correctly and consciously learn Bloodbending, one must have an excelled level of control of oneself and one's surroundings. It takes years to master this technique. I would strongly assume that, along with the power from the full moon, her body drove her to bloodbend as a self-defense mechanism."

"How would you so _strongly_ assume that?" Varrick asked out of pure curiosity, voicing the thoughts of most people in the room.

She waited for a few seconds, prolonging the anticipation, "Because I, too, was a Bloodbender."

Complete, utter quietness.

Not a single sound was heard.

Only a few people in the room were not surprised by her revelation, Korra among them, but that did not make the air any less intense. The elder did not flinch nor lose the calmness in her features, and the Avatar became less anxious under her sight.

"There is a reason I played a part in the prohibition of this bending skill. And it is because I first handedly experienced the horrors of it," confessed the Waterbender.

"Now _that_ is mover material!" declared the business magnate, but in spite of his usual demeanor, he could not mask the uneasiness in his expression, much similar to everyone else's, including those in the council. The blue eyes of the Waterbender, albeit calm, were full of shame and pain due to her memories. Korra could not help but feel like it was her fault, again.

"Katara–" she tried to say.

"Silence!" President Raiko warned her with a single look, and as much as the 20 year-old wanted to ignore it, she found herself listening to his command.

"Twice in my life did I ever bloodbend," the prodigious Healer explained, "The first time, I did it to protect myself and those I loved, my brother and Avatar Aang, from another Bloodbender. She forced me into doing it, otherwise she would have killed Aang. Similar to Korra's incident, I had never done it before that one time.

The second time is a much different story. I did it out of vengeance, to hurt someone. Bloodbending is, more often than not, propelled by hate, among other things. It is not something to be proud of. _It just is_ ," she finished, and the room was still shocked by her words. Korra could not blame them. She had been too.

Katara. Heroine, wife, mother, healer, the pure definition of love herself, had at some point, done something out of absolute hatred. Something as horrible as bloodbending. It was illogical.

"And you have asked a lot of questions tonight," said Katara, with the smallest smile on her lips, "But may I ask, does _she_ seem like a person full of hate?"

* * *

The World Leaders had left the room to deliberate their decision after Katara's testimony, returning a short period of time after. The process had prolonged itself more than she had anticipated, but somehow, she could not bring herself to care. They would never do what needed to be done. This was pointless.

A man, dressed in Air Nomad robes and arrow tattoos around his body, stood from behind the council table, clearing his voice in the process, "Throughout this trial, the jury has had the opportunity to have a much more detailed insight of the Avatar's condition. This council has found Avatar Korra guilty of her crimes. However, due to her current instability, it was deemed unreasonable to punish her as the law obliges."

Korra felt a hand relax on top of hers, her mother sighing in relief as the World Leader announced the verdict of the council. She, on the other hand, did not and could not relax at all.

"But a crime _is_ a crime, nonetheless. To prevent this from happening again, the council has decided to take different measures to prioritize Korra's full recovery. Her health is of foremost importance to each and every one of us," the son of Avatar Aang continued with his speech, interrupting the celebrations of the audience in the room.

"That being said, the Avatar is to leave South Pole as soon as possible. One of the World Leaders has offered to oversee her progress and ensure her safety. Until then, she is to remain in this new location, which will be disclosed exclusively to the members of this Council, for the entirety of her recuperation."

The brunette noticed the room was engulfed by a penetrating silence. The sudden attention, as all eyes fell on her, awaiting her reaction, made her uncomfortable beyond words. She shifted in her seat, her mother tensed again, following her lead.

"Avatar Korra will be accompanied by a couple of Masters, and this couple _only_ , which will also be selected by the jury. Breaking any of this terms will end in a more severe punishment. That will be all."

Her blue eyes darted around the room, finding her three friends sitting at the back of the room, wide-eyed. Two pairs of green eyes stared at her, a sad expression on their faces, while golden eyes locked on the floor.

She could not stop the disappointment that washed over her face, yet, it was different from the rest's.

They were disappointed too, but for other reasons.

It was unfair.

* * *

"Are you surprised?"

He did not bother to look at her, merely shaking his head from left to right. His movements were precise and strict, only giving up the minimum amount of information for her to read his answer. Usually, his lack of emotion would have irritated her, but this time around, she could not find it in herself to care in the slightest.

She was beyond tired. And she had been for a while. For too long, in her opinion.

If he expected her to try to comfort him, he was sadly mistaken. But she knew he didn't. This was just the natural Mako way of reacting when he was upset, and that, she could deal with. She learned how to; the hard way, through arguments and arguments.

In fact, she knew he was not expecting anything from her at all, as did she. They had a silent understanding, just enjoying each other's company without actually enjoying anything whatsoever. It was pure and detectable sulking. They were okay with that.

"You could say I'm kind of surprised," releasing a sigh, the brunette answered her own question after. His body did not move one inch, but his amber orbs found hers from his peripheral vision. As she had caught his attention, she continued to explain her previous confession, "I expected something worse. Definitely not prison but, you know, solitary confinement could have been a viable option."

"You wanted them to imprison you?" he asked in disbelief. His tone, despite calm, was tinted by an almost invisible anger. Not invisible to her.

It was her turn to shake her head, leaning her body against the railing of the balcony of a room she would soon abandon. On the tidily made bed laid a suitcase, filled with a few of her belongings. Nothing that truly mattered to her, she reflected internally. What mattered to her the most were things that she could not bring with her in a bag. As a matter of fact, they were not things at all.

"Yes," she admitted with an almost inaudible volume, "I don't know."

His eyebrows quirked up, not knowing how else to react to her words. Even though they were alone in his room, his volume matched hers, as if scared that the rest of the world would eavesdrop, "What do you know?"

She shut her turquoise eyes, "I know that if it had been someone else, they would be rotting in a prison cell by now," she laughed humorlessly, "And here I am, unscathed. How is that fair?"

"But you're not someone else," said the Firebender softly, placing his hand on hers. Almost immediately after, she snatched it from his grasp.

"Who am I?" meeting his gaze, she pondered. He wasn't sure whether the question was directed at him or at herself or if it was rhetorical to begin with.

He decided to give her an answer nonetheless, even if she did not want to hear any. His hand lingered on her cheek, forcing her to look at him, if only for a second, "You're someone who has suffered too much, who is _still_ suffering."

"My own pain does not vindicate the one I inflicted on others."

"It doesn't," agreed the light skinned man, his tone turning sterner, "But you did not know what you were doing at the moment, right?" he waited for her answer, but none came, her jaw clenching strongly, "You can't erase what happened. It was an accident and you have to cope with it. You're being punished for it accordingly."

" _Accordingly?_ " spat the young Avatar, utter mockery behind her words, the blue of her eyes darkening with exponential fury, "I am not being punished enough!"

Sensing her elevating rage, he wrapped his arms around her, as she tried to push her way out of his embrace. He didn't let her. Although he was as torn as the next person when it came to dealing with the _incident,_ he did not hold any grudges against her. Was she guilty? Yes, no, perhaps. All answers could be correct. He was aware of what was happening inside of her head, and no, he had not known she would go to such extremes. But Mako knew _something_ would happen. Any human was certain to snap under that amount of pressure. And Korra, regardless of her superior spiritual side, was still human.

"I am not being punished enough," her voice turned into a whisper, silenced by the shirt she was pressed against. Her arms were rigid on her sides, but she did not pull away as he ran his right hand down her chocolate locks, while the left held the small of her back.

He understood her guilt to some extent. During his childhood years, he had also done things he would never mention to anyone. Not unlike her, he had done it to survive and protect his little brother. He was not proud of what he had done, but he would also not take it back. Mako could only imagine how she felt. What she had done was very horrific itself. On top of that, the whole world judged, criticized and condemned her for something she was not fully to blame.

" _You_ are punishing yourself enough."

"Because someone has to."

Her voice was completely serious, there was no sadness in it, no anger, nothing. It terrified him that there seemed to be no emotion in that specific sentence. It meant that she did not plan on forgiving herself, and thus, would not be able to move on. If that were to happen, she would never get better. How could one move forward when there were chains trapping one in the past?

Shifting his vision from left to right, as if unsure of what to say, he approached to topic from a different angle, "Do you believe Katara or Lord Zuko are horrible people?" she blinked a few times, raising her eyebrows in confusion, "Considering that they did things in the past that are deemed horrible."

"No."

"They learned from their mistakes and overcame the hatred and anger within them," he said, continuing to stroke her short hair, "I, too, messed up when I was young. I was a criminal, as you already knew, with the Triple Thread Triad. Spirits, I can't even start with that list. I'm not proud of any of that. Do you believe me?"

"Yes," she assured slowly, her eyes softening.

"But they– _We_ , did not let said mistakes define us."

The blue-eyed woman seemed to analyze his comforting words, as she detached herself from him. No sounds came from her mouth, but he could tell that the glint he saw in her eyes were something close to gratefulness. That was more than enough for him.

She broke the silence after a few minutes, her voice as small as that of a little girl's, "I'll be away for a while," as her vision landed on the ground beneath him, he unveiled the fears that not even she was aware of.

"You won't be alone," he promised confidently. Although he was not sure of that, he had to help her believe otherwise, "I'm sure Bolin will write and call every five seconds. I'll write every day too," he tried to sound as optimistic as possible, but a part of him felt unhappy already, and she was not even gone.

Her lips curved slightly upwards and he fortunately caught the little gesture, "Okay," was all she said, but her turquoise orbs said much more.

It was interesting how neither of them expressed their feelings in a more verbal way, he thought. He had never been that kind of guy, and even if he wanted to tell her something else, he still felt somewhat uncomfortable with being so straightforward. She did not mind that he was like that, because what he did not say, he showed. And in her eyes, that was a million times better.

"I know this is not the best time but–" instead of continuing with his apologies, he leaned in as if to prove her right, closing the gap between them. His lips moved against hers, exploring every corner of her mouth. The trajectory was slow, as he tried to perfectly memorize the way she felt. Every part of her, every sound, every touch. After all, Mako did not know when he would next see her, but he would be damned if he did not try his best to shorten that painful time apart.

He would miss her so much it was ridiculous, not that he would ever say that out loud.

And not that he needed to say it either.

She already knew.

* * *

The oceanic breeze caressed her skin, her senses concentrating on anything and everything around her. Her eyelids were closed, no vision needed to drink in the sight before her.

"How could you ever forgive me?" she wondered sadly, her voice as low as the morning wind. Her legs were crossed, her back straight, and her fists connected to one another.

The silhouette in front of her remained immobile, listening to her calm rant. The Avatar did not open her eyes, but she could feel _him_ there, observing her every move. Her breathing remained steady, her chest rising and falling, but she wanted to feel nervous. Scared.

For some unknown reason, she didn't.

She felt as if a mantle surrounded her, covering her from external worries. Light.

"I don't expect you to," confessed the dark skinned woman, her lips barely moving with every word, while the rest of her body maintained its motionlessness, "I can't forgive myself either."

Unable to bring herself to face him, she continued to inhale and exhale, blue orbs hidden behind a layer of skin and lashes. Although still avoiding his gaze, she was aware of his movements. She could feel his eyes on her, studying her posture. Korra pondered whether or not he would leave if she continued to ignore his presence.

She was certain that he would stay.

He would stay forever, wouldn't he?

When she was at her weakest, he would be a reminder of her lack of control and regrets. When she was at her strongest, if she _ever_ could, he would come back to show her what would happen if she wasn't.

The peaceful cloak, which had earlier protected her, seemed to be lifting slowly with every heartbeat. She could feel the wind blowing against his blue and white uniform, the fabric dancing with the element. The young Avatar did not comprehend how she could see or _feel_ such thing without actually seeing at all.

"It doesn't matter how many times I say I'm sorry," her voice was as calm as the water of the Spirit Oasis, but her energy contradicted her, turning darker with each syllable. The air grew heavier, threatening to bury her in the metal surface below her. She could feel her mind dragging her down the memory lane. Full of memories she did _not_ want to remember, full of poison, suffering and escaped death. "It will never matter."

The man in front of her smiled and once again, guilt started to travel through and around her blood. The image of the person with a White Lotus symbol on his head drilling its way to the front of her mind. Soon enough, guilt was all she could think about. She knew nothing else, where she was, what or who she was. It was all about what she had done.

"Don't forgive me," she could feel herself begging, despite the stillness of her volume and breathing. And if she had the capability to cry, she would have poured her spirit out with every tear until there was nothing left of her.

 _You're forgiven, Korra._

As soon as she heard the voice, filled with hope and _light,_ her eyes opened abruptly, searching for the remainder of the sound that had snapped her back to reality. The voice seemed to stretch into the horizon, escaping her grip, and just as fast as it came, it disappeared.

Her legs bolted towards the railing of the ship, her eyes scanning frantically for the source of the voice, finding nothing but water. Disappointment clouded her vision. Or was it tears?

 _Raava?_

She sighed in defeat, running a hand through her hair. Turning on her feet, she walked towards her cabin. Above her, red flags adorned with black flames flew with the morning sky.

* * *

 **A/N:** That is the end of the trial, finally. A couple of notes:

1\. The last scene could be (or not) an hallucination too. **Any thoughts on that?** The whole chapter deals with Korra's guilt, which leads her to believe that nobody should forgive her, especially herself. It was important to show this, since last chapter she seemed a little immature about what she had done, when she does, in fact, feel horrible about it.

2\. It is pretty obvious where Korra is going now, but sadly, Team Avatar is not going with her yet. We'll see how it goes.

 **Do not forget to leave a review. It definitely motivates me to write faster, and I would surely enjoy hearing your opinion on this chapter.**

 **Thank you for reading. Until next time.**


	14. XIV

**A/N:** The story has been around for two months now. 14 chapters and 5000 views. That is awesome. Also, feel free to check my new story _Clandestine_ on my profile. About Makorra.

* * *

 _"_ _Like waves washing away the footprints on the sand, Ember Island gives everyone a clean slate. Ember Island reveals the true you._ _"_

– _ **Lo and Li**_

* * *

 **XIV**

"Wow," she exhaled as she observed and rejoiced in the new surroundings.

"Welcome to my home," spoke a regal voice behind her, but she was too immersed in the sight in front of her to even comprehend what the host was saying.

During her short life, she had been able to visit quite a few places all around the globe. While the team was eagerly looking for Airbenders, they stumbled upon many interesting cities in the Earth Kingdom, including the everlasting city of Ba Sing Se with its strong walls, which only meant further segregation. It was exciting to be in the capital of said Kingdom to say the least, but the views were not at all enticing if one were to look at the Lower and Middle rings.

Then there was the Water Tribe. Beautiful in its own way, naturally located where Waterbenders could feel the most connected to their elements. But she was no Waterbender exactly. She was the Avatar, and as such, needed to be in touch with the other elements as well. It was difficult to feel the warmth of fire when there was no sun whatsoever during half the year.

The Air temples were majestic, perfection. Such architecture and culture prevailed despite the obstacles and suffering of their people. They would never vanish. The temples stood tall and glorious, giving a glimpse of what the nomad life was like. Then again, she was no nomad and the lacking proximity of water made her feel slightly nervous sometimes.

She understood, however, that every single spot in this world had their good and bad sides. Light and dark. It was only natural. But this…

"This is amazing," concluded the young Avatar. Her blue eyes were glued to the beach a few meters away from her current place. She had been staring at it for so long now that she had lost track of time. It was a little embarrassing really, that a grown woman felt like an excited child first discovering his or her bending abilities.

Her embarrassment was soon out of the window when the tropical air caressed her skin. The water was so calm, the breeze so refreshing, the earth so moist, and the _sun so bright_. She felt every tiny expression of the elements. It excited her beyond words, as she had kind of lost a connection with herself, yet felt so fused with the elements.

The man with grey hair and a scar decorating his face chuckled at her astonishment, "Avatar Aang liked Ember Island too. He would come here with his family sometimes during the summer, as did I."

Her eyebrows raised at the mention of her predecessor, "Aang came here too?"

Although it was a rhetorical question out of amazement, Zuko still answered, "Yes, many times," a smile crept up his face as his mind traveled through time, "This place is said to be the perfect location for self-discovery."

"I can tell," she really did. For some unknown reason, her very own self seemed to be calling out for her through the slow crash of the waves. Shaking her head quickly, she focused her attention back on the Firebender, "So, uhm, how does this work? You know–"

A look of amusement crossed his features at her sudden nervousness. She could not help it, because yes, she was the Avatar, but this was _Lord Zuko_ and he was going to be her _chaperone_ , in simpler words.

"I hope you understand that the orders of the council were very strict," he tilted his head to the side, an apologetic expression invading his eyes.

"I understand."

Sighing deeply, he linked his hands behind his back, "It is evident that you are not allowed to leave the island. Furthermore, you're not to leave your cabin without supervision, especially at night," he stopped to watch her reaction, but she remained uncomplaining.

She nodded her head as she gulped, "What about phone calls?"

"Every other week you will be given the chance to contact others," explained the elder calmly, "But I must remind you that your location is to remain secret."

"So, no matter what I do outside of my cabin, a White Lotus Sentry will be following me around."

Placing a supporting hand on her shoulder, Zuko said, "There will be no guards in that sense. I do, however, trust you to follow the orders I just listed," she nodded quickly, unable to escape from his authoritarian gaze, "Should I trust you?"

"Of course! I won't do anything stupid," she promised sheepishly. Even though she had broken more rules she could ever recall, she knew for a fact that she should not break his. And she also did not want to, either. It felt good to be trusted.

"No one is a prisoner in Ember Island, Korra. The only one with the ability to imprison you here is and will always be _you_."

 _If only he knew how right he was_ , she thought. It was not even questionable. She knew for a fact that the only person standing in her way of recovery was that eye-glowing, chained side of her mind. They were not just hallucinations. They were a part of her.

His finger lifted towards the sky, pointing at the flying silhouette hovering above them. A bison, "Now, should we welcome your other mentors?"

"Why didn't they just come in the ship with us?"

The corners of his lips turned up, "They had to make a small detour."

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she watched the animal descend into a safe landing. She felt her own mouth shift into a small smile. Loneliness was not something she looked forward to. Even though that was what she deserved. It did not matter how lighthearted the days were, she would always be alone at night.

And demons came out to play when the sun went out.

She stopped herself before her brain could drift any further, locking her vision with the bodies that appeared from atop the bison. Two people, whom she knew too well, approached her. The smaller one clung to her as if her life depended on it. Korra ruffled her hair affectionately, only revealing more of the girl's tattoo.

"You saw me two days ago, Jinora!" the Avatar said, failing to hold a laugh. She held out her hand for the other mentor to take, and wrinkled hands warmed her own, "I'm sorry you had to leave the South Pole."

"Nonsense," the Waterbender discarded her apology with a smile, before turning her eyes to the Firebender, "Zuko."

"Ember Island has missed you, Katara," he told his old friend with a bow. The Avatar felt like she had landed in another time period and like she was no longer Korra. This felt too familiar, a remainder of a past lifetime. And that was exactly what it was.

"So," the 20 year-old exited her thoughts as her eyes shifted around the three benders in front of her, "You're my Firebending teacher," she addressed Zuko, "Waterbending," her finger pointed at Katara, "Airbending," and subsequently, Jinora.

The three of them nodded in unison.

"Am I missing somethin–"

She was cut short by the sounds of struggling and complaining coming from the bison, _"This is why I hate flying!"_ the grumpy voice exclaimed as it made its way stumbling down the furry animal.

Korra's eyes shot open, her jaw hitting the floor.

A side grin appeared on the stranger's mouth, "Nice to see you again, Twinkle Toes."

* * *

She sat crossed-legged, a mirror positioned far enough for her to catch her own reflection. Behind her, the young Airbender brushed her hair, styling the top into a classic Fire Nation bun. Her clothes matched her hairdo, distinct shades of red fabrics hugging her curves. A red top reached the middle of her abdomen, tied on one shoulder and off on the other. Similar to her blue baggy pants, she wore a crimson pair.

"The color suits you," the tattooed girl complimented the Avatar.

As much as she wanted to disagree with her, she could not help but enjoy the change. Whether it was for better or worse that she was sinking in the culture of the island, _different_ was exactly what she needed.

"How come you're still in your Airbender uniform?"

"I have a blue arrow on my forehead, duh," she explained in a matter-of-factly kind of way, "Not much I can wear that can disguise it. Besides, people are not supposed to know _you_ are here."

That was indeed a good point, and she agreed that it was for the best. The minute civilians realized that the Avatar was on the island, the news would spread like wildfire.

"How did you leave things in the South Pole?" the blue-eyed girl changed the topic.

"Dad was a little worried about my departure. But Gran-Gran is here," she said shortly, no further explanation needed on the subject, "Your friends were sad, though."

A glimpse of guilt flashed across her blue orbs.

"Speaking of which," she reached inside of her pocket to retrieve an envelope, "This is from the Firebender boy who drives you crazy. He said you would know when to read it."

The Avatar felt a blush sneak its way up her neck to her cheeks but said nothing. She merely took it in her hands, examining his neat handwriting.

"There you go," Jinora let go of her finished hair and stood up from the floor, Korra following right behind, "I heard there is a nice theater downtown. Maybe we should check it out."

Korra shifted uncomfortably at her suggestion, Zuko's words ringing at the back of her mind, "I don't think I am supposed to go out unsupervised."

"Well, you're not," stated the younger girl proudly, raising her hand to point at herself.

* * *

As soon as she arrived at the theater, she had a feeling she should have turned around. Something inside of her, a distant voice told her she would not like it. But there she was, sitting at the back of place, waiting for _The Legend of Korra_ play, ironically, to start.

"How precise do you think it is?" pondered the Airbender excitedly next to her.

Her heart rate accelerated, "Hopefully, not at all."

The curtains opened, revealing the surprisingly accurate story of her life. Although her early teenage years were slightly rushed, it was understandable, nothing interesting really happening there. Closer to reality than she was willing to admit.

"She doesn't look like me at all," she fumed under her breath, studying her overly girly and dramatic impersonator.

They changed the setting around the stage, making it more Republic-City-fitting. She laughed when she was supposed to, and scowled when suitable. She could not help but double with hysteric laughs when Bolin and an extremely brooding Mako were introduced.

But then the acts became more serious in her eyes when a masked man took over the stage.

And for the second time, she could hear that distant voice telling her– no, _urging_ her to run. This was supposed to be an entertainment and she could see why the rest of the audience enjoyed the tale, including her young companion. But the Avatar was having her failures and fears portrayed for a crowd to see.

" _I challenge Amon to a duel! I am the Avatar, nobody can beat me!"_

Korra closed her eyes at the shameful memory recreated by the actors. Her arrogance and pride had almost led to her own doom at the time. All because she wanted to prove to everyone that she was not a coward. But those close to her already knew she wasn't. So why did she bother with proving something to those who only judged her from afar?

Sensing her tensed body, Jinora's eyes fell on her, "Are you okay?" she whispered.

"Yeah," but she was certain it would only get worse from there.

The actress fell to the floor with pretended unconsciousness after the Amon double ambushed her with the rest of his Equalist group. And then the fake version of her started _sobbing_ dramatically after Tenzin arrived. Sobbing her eyes out, for Spirit's sake.

And yes, that had happened to some extent. But that did not mean she wanted it disclosed.

The scenes progressed along with the clock, and she continued to dread every minute of it. Lin having her bending taken away, the Airbenders being imprisoned, Mako being bloodbent.

Her own self being "cleansed from her impurities" by Amon.

" _I don't need you, Tenzin. Unalaq will teach me all I need to know!"_

" _I will open the Spirit Portal, Uncle."_

" _They took the Avatar Spirit right off me! I'm so useless!"_

Korra buried her face in her hands, trying to ignore the voice of the actors. She was failing miserably, and the reactions of the spectators only added to her despair. They laughed and gasped and aww'd continuously. Praying to every Spirit that had ever encountered, she begged for the tormenting sounds to end. But to her disappointment, although not to her surprise, there was another story that was left to be told.

Clenching and unclenching her fist, she stared at the ceiling, pretending that she could not hear what was happening on stage. She hoped that Jinora could not be able to notice her discomfort, but she was too obvious for that to slip.

She was going to keep pretending.

And pretending.

But then there was _that_ part.

"– _The poison will force you into the Avatar State for the last time. Korra, the_ Last _Avatar!"_ said the actor playing the Airbender that plagued her nightmares, as he laughed evilly. The actress wearing tattered blue clothes and chains started to scream, in an almost comical way, swaying from one side to the other as if she were to faint.

On the other side of the theater, the actual Korra felt her breathing become hectic as pieces of flashbacks surged within her mind. Her throat seemed to close dangerously, and even though she knew it was only in her mind, she massaged the front of her neck to soothe it.

Licking her lips anxiously, she left her seat, tripping on her way out, "I need some air."

* * *

There was something peaceful about this night, regardless of her chaotic thoughts, with the cloudless sky decorated with glinting points. It had been a while since she had stopped and taken her time to look at the stars. They were beautiful.

Full of light.

After leaving the theater and having a panic attack, she had been comforted by the young Airbending Master. Korra had never felt more grateful of her presence than at that exact moment. It was easy for her to get lost in the sea of mistakes and grief that had been displayed across the stage. She surely did for a moment, but then Jinora was there, to pull her back to reality.

"You're focusing on the wrong things," the brown eyed girl had pointed out after they had left the theater, "Your mistakes and failures are a part of you. But you're not your mistakes. _You're not the monster you think you are._ "

As soon as she had heard those sentences, she wondered when exactly the other girl transformed into that wise young lady. The Avatar had been replaying those words in her mind ever since she had arrived to her chambers. There were many things that she could conclude from that, but one thing was certain.

It was time for her to learn and grow.

Having always been strong-headed, proud and _sort of_ independent, she liked to think she could take care of herself. The thought of people pitying her boiled her blood, giving her the desire to punch a wall until it crumbled in front of her. She despised the fact that others felt sorry for her.

So why should she feel sorry for herself?

Lord Zuko was more than right; she was her own obstacle. She had had many opportunities to take a look at herself and know that she needed to pull it together and do _something_ about it. Change would only happen if she allowed herself to do so. And she could not think of a better time and place to start.

As she looked out of the window, she gulped when glowing eyes stared back at hers from the shore.

"You're not the monster you think you are," she whispered as she closed the panels, forcing herself to ignore her hallucination and go back to bed.

One peaceful sleep was all she asked for in this lonely bedroom.

And she should have felt alone. At least lonelier than usual. She was far away from home, in a strange place. Her mother and father were not a room away, to read her stories the way they did when she was just a toddler. Her best friends were halfway across the world. But Katara, Jinora and others who cared for her were here, to assure her that she could get through this. And her boyfriend–

He was right there with her.

A small smile threatened to appear as her hand found her pocket.

 _Dear Korra…_

* * *

 **A/N:** A couple of notes:

1\. To be honest, I was planning on having Suyin be the Earthbending Master for Korra. But then I thought... This is the perfect time to include Toph. Also, Zuko, Katara and Toph were Aang's teachers. Now they'll be Korra's. It made a lot of sense in my head, hopefully in yours as well. Plus, there are a lot of things Korra can learn from the three of them.

2\. This chapter was meant to be a throwback to ATLA, with the Ember Island Theater and so on. Again, I had to do it. The ATLA fan in me could not stop herself. And I felt Korra needed to witness her rocky path from an outside perspective.

 **Don't forget to leave a review with your opinion. I'd love that.**

 **Thank you for reading!**


	15. XV

**A/N:** I hope you remember the "Cave of the Two Lovers" episode from ATLA.

* * *

" _Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribes are capable of adapting to many things. They have a sense of community and love that holds them together through anything."_

– _ **Iroh**_

* * *

 **XV**

"Very good, Korra."

The brunette had been practicing her Waterbending stances on the courtyard of Zuko's house. It was spacious enough and, most importantly, private. The last thing they needed was people figuring out that the Avatar was in town. It would certainly attract more attention than necessary.

It should have been annoying for her to train Waterbending, given the fact that she had already mastered it. But she trusted her masters, especially Katara. And after she was poisoned, she had been so immersed in her recovery that she had almost forgotten that bending was a part of it as well.

And despite her lack of training before this, it was a relief to know that she was still as natural at it as ever. It was water, after all. She was born a Waterbender, so it was expected. Eventually, she became a natural at the rest too. Except Air, but that was a different story.

While the young girl was distracted by her thoughts, Katara snatched the water away from the Avatar's grasp with an elegant push and pull of her hand and placed the liquid back in her canteen.

"Hey!" the brunette could not help but yell, pouting at the interruption.

The elder's laugh reached her ears, "We will try something new now."

The girl lit up immediately. The Waterbender could not help but remember Korra with the exact same expression as she started her Waterbending training many years ago in the South Pole. It was a beautiful sight, to see someone who had been through so much still being a child at heart.

"Go on, waterbend," commanded the grey-haired woman with a grin.

"Uhm," Korra looked at her teacher as if she had turned into a turtle duck, "I'm kind of out of water."

"Are you?" the Waterbender asked with a mischievous tone, only perking up the Avatar's curiosity. With a circular motion of her hand, droplets of water materialized from the environment.

The brunette's jaw hit the floor as her mentor bent the water in the ambient.

"How– You–" the girl dressed in Fire Nation clothes gaped at the older woman.

"As Waterbenders, we must change and adapt, just like water," Katara said, the element dancing on her fingertips.

The Avatar observed attentively as her mentor bent the water. It solidified against her hand, and short after, returned to its liquid phase.

The element itself was nothing out of the ordinary to the young woman, obviously. But it was always fascinating to watch something new, to _learn_ something new.

It was her life mission, as the Avatar, to keep balance. But in order to do so, mastering the elements was atop the list. Most Avatars had the opportunity to travel the world and learn in the process. Unfortunately, she had not been allowed to as she first started the bending training.

But now it was different. Her skills were going to continue improving. She was, as far as she was concerned, the first Metalbending Avatar. Maybe she was not a _fully_ realized Avatar but she was definitely on her way. And the fact that she was taught by some of the best benders in the world only reinforced that belief.

"While living in the South Pole, we never have to deal with the absence of water," the elder explained, "But sometimes, that is not the case."

Korra recalled the times she had been in the desert and other places in the Earth Kingdom, and even some parts of the United Republic, such as the undergrounds. Being the Avatar, it never bothered her _much_ , but she did notice the lack of water. She could only imagine being a Waterbender stuck in a dry environment.

"That is why we must adapt, perhaps even more so than other benders," continued the Waterbender, as she stared at the brunette, "And learn that water is all around us. But where exactly?"

"In the air?" answered the young woman, which ended up sounding like a question.

Katara hummed in approval, "Can you feel the water in it?"

"Yes."

"It is thanks to the humidity of the Fire Nation weather," the elder said, this time dragging a larger amount of water from the environment, "Would you like to give it a try?"

Nodding, the girl took a deep breath. She concentrated on the thick air around her, and she rejoiced at the fact that she could indeed feel different elements in it. The humid air was holding water, waiting to be bent at will. Waiting for _her_.

Mimicking Katara's motions, she rhythmically spun on her heel and the water attached itself to her arms. She smiled as wide as possible, jumping on her feet.

"I did it!"

"Yes," the Waterbender replied with a smile of her own, "Water is in the air. Depending on the soil, there's water in the ground too," continued the elder, "I once met people in a swamp who could bend the water inside the plants."

"Wow," Korra exclaimed at the tale in amazement.

"It does sound quite impressive," her tone turned slightly darker, the Avatar noted. The grey-haired woman moved towards the gardens, picking up a red flower. Then, she proceeded to place it on Korra's hand, "That is a fire lily."

"It's beautiful."

The elder nodded as she moved her hand to bend the water inside the flower, making it levitate slightly. Korra was hypnotized by the vibrant red color, admiring its beauty.

"Someone once told me that there's water inside all living things," the somber look in her face sent a chill up the Avatar's spine. With a flick of her wrist, the water left the flower at her command, its fiery red color turning a dry brown.

"Waterbenders can control many things. Anything that contains water, or _anyone_ ," Katara said, watching the suddenly immobile girl, "That is a great amount of power. But with such great power comes great responsibility. Do you understand?"

She did. She really did.

It was not about the flower. It was about control, comprehending her abilities and herself. She was a Bloodbender now, or at least knew that she had the skill, but it was not to be used. However, she had to understand what it meant.

The Avatar looked back at the plant with her mouth still hanging open. In a span of a second, it had died. That was all it took.

* * *

"She looks like you."

The woman tilted her head at the voice of the male in front of her, nodding in agreement. Katara was sitting on the porch of the former Fire Lord's house. During the Hundred Year War, they had stayed in the very same house while the group was hiding prior to the arrival of the Sozin's Comet. It was refreshing, yet sentimental, to share once again with familiar faces. Being in this place with some of her oldest friends was definitely a major nostalgia inducing experience.

As she followed Zuko's gaze, she found the blue waters of Ember Island. But it was not the shore that had caught his attention, but the girl who seemed to be meditating on it. It was, as might be expected, the Avatar herself.

Curiously enough, she did not look like the Water Tribe girl whom Katara had helped raise. She was not a girl anymore to begin with. Her body might have not changed significantly since her teenage years, but her face had indeed done so. Anyone who stared at her eyes could certify it, for it was in the eyes where the true self was found. The turquoise orbs held so much wisdom in them now, so much _pain_ ; unbelievable amounts for someone her age.

But she was the Avatar. And with the title came responsibilities, duties, and the inevitable grief.

After all, one was bound to shrink when the weight of the world was pushed upon one's shoulders.

"It's good that she embraces the culture," she finally said, the young brunette never leaving her sight. It was not only the Water Tribe similarities between them, but also the clothes she was wearing. Katara remembered the days when she had worn something similar, red fabrics disguising her as a Fire Nation civilian.

The man with the scarred face took a sip of his tea, "Isn't it interesting how there's so much more of Aang in her every day?"

With a smirk, the Waterbender agreed, "She certainly is not the 17 year-old who left to Republic City," bringing her own cup to her lips, she said, "The Island will heal her in no time."

"She will continue struggling, nonetheless," the Firebender noted.

"Naturally," answered the grey-haired woman, "But by reconnecting with her environment, and the elements, she will rediscover herself. Perhaps even more than that."

Zuko looked at her as if studying the meaning behind her theory, "Her connection to her past lives."

"Yes," assented Katara, "She just needs some guidance. The link is buried somewhere within her. And here, she's surrounded by pieces of her last lifetime. Aang's life. It's only a matter of time."

The old man stroke his beard, engaged in thought, "I trust your judgment. It will be difficult, but she is strong."

"The girl seems like she can take a punch," the Earthbender finally decided to speak up. She sat on the other side of the table, with her feet on top of it and hands supporting her head. The other two benders exchanged looks of amusement at the subtle compliment. At least, that was as much of a compliment as anyone would get from Toph.

"Speaking of which," Katara started with a gentle tone, "Maybe you could try being less abrasive when you start training Korra than you were with Aang. People respond well to a positive teaching experience, lots of encouragement and kind words–"

The youngest of the three raised her eyebrows with a bored expression, "Enough with the positive reinforcement speech," she dismissed the suggestion, recalling the same advice that Katara herself had given her over 70 years ago, when she had taught Aang how to earthbend.

"Perhaps it is not so bad that she learns the same way Aang did," added Zuko with a chuckle.

"That's because you were not there during the first Earthbending lesson," the blue-eyed woman reminded him.

"Fun times," Toph laughed with a shake of her head, "The girl will learn the right way. The _hard_ way."

The Waterbender crossed her arms over her chest, "You're _not_ throwing rocks at Korra while she's blindfolded."

The shorter woman gave a grunt, "You still like to take the fun out of everything, I see."

Even though the Earthbender was her usual harsh self, Katara could not help but smile at the familiarity of the situation. There was something comforting about the way things had drastically changed over the years, but at the same time, none of them had lost the essence they had during their Team Avatar years.

* * *

The sand was humid and cold under her feet. She felt younger as she curled her toes on the wet surface. Whether it was the weather or the people, she did not know, but it gave her a new beginning. Lately, she had felt as if she had lived, and _suffered_ , for a thousand years.

And she had, technically. For way more than a thousand, even. Every Avatar had grieved one way or another during their lives for over ten thousand years. Maybe there were a few lucky ones that got spared, but she doubted it. That connection was still lost though, but it had not vanished permanently; it was just hidden inside of her. Deep, deep inside of her.

She could hear that nagging voice in the back of her head every now and then. A sense of déjà vu alerted her more often than not. She liked to think that the feeling was a good sign. A sign from one of her past lives. Aang, most likely.

During the play, the feeling was there, telling her that the theater would just cause troubles. She had not listened, but she had come to learn that the voice in her head had been right.

The day after, she had asked Katara about the Ember Island Theater and her hypothesis had been proved correct. During the Hundred Year War, Aang and the team decided to watch a play based on his life. No one was happy about the production, especially the Avatar.

Her mentors had decided to give her a couple of days to settle in before starting the training. Today it had been Waterbending.

To say that she had felt excited would have been an understatement. Since the Waterbender had lived with her almost her entire life, Korra had never experienced that awestruck feeling. But seeing Katara next to Zuko and Toph was enough to make her squeal internally.

It was only her third day on the Island and she already felt more at ease than she had in the past months. Again, she was not sure why. Maybe she just did and there was no explanation behind it. But there was always some kind of explanation that Katara would tell her, which she usually would not get.

In her hands, she had a piece of paper from Mako. She had read his letter on her first night, and what seemed like a hundred times after that.

 _Dear Korra,_

 _I'm not very good at writing letters. It's 2:15 in the afternoon. Weather is fair. Chance of snow showers later today. But enough joking around. I hope you're doing well. It is easy to doubt yourself after everything that's happened. But I believe in you, even if you do not._

 _There are not many things I can write that I haven't told you already. There are a few others I want to say but don't know how to. I have the feeling you already know anyway, even if I can't say them._

 _Just remember that love is brightest in the dark._

 _Mako._

Every time she read it, it was the same. She could not seem to pinpoint what it was about the last sentence that bothered her. But it did. There was that déjà vu sensation again like she had heard it before. Or said it before. It could mean anything, and it was frustrating her to no end because there was just no way she was _that obtuse_.

Love is brightest in the dark?

It did not matter how many times she re-read it, she still had no idea. But for some reason, it was at the tip of her tongue.

"What are you doing?" someone sat next to her on the sand.

Korra hid the letter behind her back, a blush coloring her cheeks, "Nothing," she said as she looked at the intruder.

"You're still reading the letter, huh?" the young Airbender arched an eyebrow at the Avatar's embarrassment.

"No!" she interjected, but sighed in defeat soon after, "Yes. It's–" with a grunt, she admitted, "I don't get it."

The blue-eyed woman showed her the piece of paper. Jinora read the sentences for a moment before looking back at her, "Love is brighter in the dark."

The 20 year-old assented, "What does it mean?"

"It's an old Earth Kingdom legend! The Cave of the Two Lovers, of course!" the young girl explained with a daydreaming expression on her face, "It's so romantic."

With a roll of her eyes, Korra urged the other, "And?" But she felt something in the back of her head. Like she knew the story. She was certain that she knew it.

And then it clicked.

Jinora continued with her tale, "It's about The Cave of the Two Lovers! The was a woman named Oma, and a man named–"

"Shu," the Avatar completed with complete shock.

Closing her eyes, she felt a massive headache kick in. In the darkness of her mind, a set of flashbacks started to make an appearance.

The setting was dark as well. It seemed like a tunnel. No. _A cave_. There were two people, only illuminated by a small flame, which was on the verge of burning out. One of them, a girl, was dressed in Water Tribe clothing, while the other boy wore Air Nomad colors. In spite of the fading light, the blue arrow on her forehead could still be seen.

The blue eyed girl moved towards the boy until the torch was the only thing separating them. And as their lips were only inches apart, the fire finally extinguished. Immediately after, thousands of crystals lit up their path out of the underground labyrinth.

Korra opened her eyes to find the beach in front of her, Tenzin's daughter sitting next to her next to her. She did not know whether to be excited about the sudden connection to her past life or about the memory itself. It felt like such an intimate moment between Katara and Aang, but it was so touching and moving.

It was almost impossible not to feel Aang's love for her in the flashback, Korra noticed, even if Katara did not know it at the time. The two kids had not said anything about it, but the love was there, even when it seemed invisible. Just like light.

Just then, she thought of Mako.

"I get it now," she told Jinora with a smile.

* * *

 **A/N:** 15 Chapters already. Notes:

1\. The first few sentences (only) of Mako's letter are actually from the show. What he intended with the **last sentence** was to trigger a memory in Korra, one love related. Plus, we know that Mako has had visions related to past Avatars, this strengthens their connection even more. He's definitely not the most expressive character, but it was a way to tell Korra he loves her (indirectly).

2\. This is the Water chapter. One element per chapter (or a couple of chapters).

3\. The training with Katara is parallel to the Hama/Katara one from ATLA. It is obvious how much I like to bring ATLA up.

 **Thank you for reading. Please leave a review with your opinion!**


	16. XVI

" _Earth is the element of substance. The people of the Earth Kingdom are diverse and strong. They are persistent and enduring."_

– **Iroh**

* * *

 **XVI**

"Are we training at some point?"

It was probably the third time she had asked the same question in the last half hour, and if she were to be completely honest, her patience was running low. It was not something unexpected, given the fact that patience had never been one of her strongest suit. However, it was not the anxiety that frustrated her. She was being ignored.

Even though she fought the urge to stand up and leave, a pout was still present on her lips. The mentor in front of her seemed unaffected by her display of annoyance, which only irritated Korra more.

Sensing her brooding attitude, the elder spoke up, "Alright," she grunted, as she left her relaxed spot on a chair, "Give me your best shot."

The Avatar, whose excitement soon turned into confusion, looked at the Earthbender, waiting for an explanation, "What?"

"I don't need to go over stances and basics with you, now do I? You are an Earthbender already," the former Chief of the Republic City Police stated, turning her back on the brunette and walking towards the courtyard.

The girl followed soon after, "But Katara said–"

"That I am supposed to train you, not hand-hold you," she clarified, as she linked her hands behind her back, "Now, try to strike me."

Although she felt uneasy about it, Korra did as she was told and with a punch of her arm, sent a boulder in the elder's direction. Just as predicted, the Earthbender dodged the attempt without any kind of effort. She did not even flinch; it was as if she already knew what the girl was planning on doing before she even attacked.

"Pathetic," the woman spat, not even bothering to face the brunette, " _Best_ shot," she stressed once more.

Her attempts continued to fail miserably. One after the other, the Earthbender was able to easily deflect all of them. Korra felt her frustration take over inside of her. She was not expecting to beat her teacher. She was Toph Beifong, after all. But the brunette was not even able to startle the older woman, or impress her in any way.

And with every failure of a movement, she became more and more tired. Her body felt heavier by the minute, and she feared that her exhaustion would reach a breaking point. _Toph was right_ , she thought. It was pathetic.

The Avatar exhaled, narrowing her eyes as she contemplated her next move. Trying to be as quick as possible, her foot darted towards the ground. But before she even made contact with the soil, the other bender, already anticipating this, caused the earth to shift below Korra.

As the surface beneath her trembled, the blue-eyed woman lost her balance and fell, her arms catching her just in time before her face hit the ground.

"Tell me what you did wrong," commanded the Earthbending master.

Korra's eyebrows knitted as she said, "Well I was thinking–"

"Exactly, you were thinking!" the elder interrupted with a yell, "You don't need to think about it. There's no different angle, no clever solution, no trickety-trick that's going to help you here. All you have to do is listen."

Her blue eyes filled with uncertainty, "Listen?"

"To the Earth!" exclaimed Toph matter-of-factly, "What is the Earth telling you?"

"I don't know?" admitted the Avatar, feeling embarrassed of her inability to understand whatever her mentor was saying. She did grasp the idea. After all, she had trained, and thought that had mastered Earthbending many years ago. The White Lotus had explained the whole concept of it to her, but she never put it into practice. It did not seem like such a necessary skill at the time.

The grey-haired woman pinched the bridge of her nose, before releasing a long breath, "Have you heard of seismic sense?" she received a nod from the Avatar, "Even though I was born blind, I've never had problem seeing. Why is that?"

Korra felt a familiar wave hit her as her mentor spoke. Somewhere in the back of the back of her mind, she saw a very young Toph in what seemed to be a fighting arena. It was a very blurry image, but it was clear enough for her to be sure that it was indeed the Earthbender in her memories.

"You see with Earthbending," the brunette completed the other's sentence, "Through the vibrations in the Earth."

"Yes," as the elder assented her head, her lips curved in the slightest, "I can see where you are," she pointed to the right, "That tree," then her face turned towards the cottage, "Even Katara trying to reach for a teacup in the high shelve in the kitchen."

Blue eyes opened widely, impressed and interested, "You're connected to the Earth."

"And that is your problem," the stern tone returned to the voice of the former Chief Beifong, "You've been disconnected from your surroundings, and from yourself for too long."

A sad expression adorned her features, as she pushed a short strand of brown hair behind her ears, her eyes locked on the floor.

"The poison–"

"You can't blame every single one of your failures on the poison," the Earthbender said before the girl could carry on with her explanations.

"But…" a look of disbelief crossed Korra's face at the bluntness of the comment. Her voice rose slightly, full of irritation, "Of course I can! They poisoned me. It's their fault I–"

"Save it," said the elder as stoic as ever, "Dwelling in the past will not help you move on. That is, if you want to move on."

Korra breathed in and out, ignoring her inner wish to punch a wall. Finally, she muttered, "Yes. I want to."

"Then stop whining and allow yourself to be helped," she reprimanded, as she held out her hand with a piece of cloth. The young Avatar's eyes traveled from the fabric to the Earthbender.

Her seemingly faded green eyes were piercing a hole into her blue ones. _What_ or _if_ she was seeing, Korra was not completely sure. The bending veteran was blind, yet seemed able to see more than anyone the twenty year old had ever met in her life. There was a reason Toph was a hero, a legend even. Her skills were unbelievable.

Forgetting any kind of reason to hesitate, the brunette grabbed the fabric from the elder's hand. Without waiting for instructions, she started to place it tightly over her eyes, but not before she caught the approving nod and grin coming from the Earthbender.

"Take off your shoes."

She quickly complied, struggling only a little due to the darkness that the blindfold provided. As soon as her toes touched the grass, the soles of her feet were greeted by the refreshing humidity of the plants.

"What do you see?" she heard Toph's voice behind her.

It was a difficult question for her to answer. She was not exactly sure if there was a right answer to begin with. There were so many things she could say, since she was surrounded by her elements. But seeing… that was something else.

"Forget about the air and the warmth of the sun hitting your skin. Forget about the sound of the crashing waves," the grey-haired woman ordered, "You're an Earthbender. You're a rock. What do you see?"

She inhaled and exhaled, concentrating on the ground below her. The ground, which she knew extended for countless miles. It was all around, in every place, in every step. The Earth knew no boundaries; it did not shy away from any other element. From anything, for the matter. It endured the cold, the heat. Rocks were always steady and stubborn.

The Earth connected everything.

And even though it was not as strong as she would have wished, she felt something. No, she _saw_ something. The vibrations were everywhere too, out there waiting for anyone who was willing to listen.

And she listened.

She had a vague idea of where things were. It was weak, but she understood that just as any other skill, it needed to be practiced and mastered. But the earth was there.

And there was so much life in it and on it. People, animals, vegetation, _life_. Ever growing and ever moving, but the Earth was and would always be there. The moment that thought sank in, she felt less alone.

"I see everything."

* * *

One of her hands held the telephone securely against her ear, while the other fidgeted with the cord. Her foot tapped on the floor as she leaned on the chair waiting for someone to answer. After what seemed like hours, a voice finally appeared at the end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Hey," the brunette merely said.

"Korra!" the other person screamed and Korra felt her face brighten up, "I miss you! How are you doing? Where are you? Is everything okay?"

"Woah, Asami," the Avatar chuckled at her friend's excitement, "One question at a time."

On the other end, there was a soft laugh accompanying hers, "Well, how are you?"

It took her a while to give her an answer. Not because she did not want to confide in her friend, but because she was not so sure herself. She decided to think about it before letting Asami know, since she wanted to be as honest as possible with her. The Sato Heiress waited as long as she needed, and for that, Korra was grateful. She never pushed for answers, she never judged.

Maybe she only had one girlfriend, but she had a great one.

"I am getting better, struggling, but better," and as she assured her best friend of her well-being, she realized that it was true. Her mentors knew what they were doing, and she believed that with them, she could only recover.

In order to recuperate, she needed Katara's sweet, motherly nature to support her when she was at her lowest, but she also needed Toph's harshness to snap her back to reality. And then there was Zuko, whose wisdom would undoubtedly enlighten her in more ways than one, and even though Jinora was not on the same level as the others, the young girl never failed to surprise her either.

She was in good hands.

"And this place," taking a deep breath, she let her mind wander to the clear shores of Ember Island, "It's so beautiful. The environment, the people–"

But then she realized that she was reaching dangerous territory, so she cut herself off.

"You can't tell me where you are, can you?" Asami's tone was slightly sad, but supportive.

Fidgeting with the telephone cord once again, she said the only thing she thought of, "I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's alright. I'm just glad you're okay," she expressed wholeheartedly, and Korra could imagine the green-eyed woman giving her an understanding smile, "Are you still having, you know–"

Sighing, the Avatar ran a nervous hand through her hair, "Yeah."

It was still a somewhat delicate topic between them. The nightmares, the visions. The non-bender had witnessed some of her worst breakdowns, thus there was bound to be a certain wariness around the subject.

The night she had cut her hair, Asami had found her with bloody feet and in some kind of trance, unable to give any acknowledgement. They never talked about it afterwards, and once more, Korra was grateful for the space she was given. Her friend would come to her room and brush her hair more often than not, while telling her random stories. It was a nice distraction from her internal chaos.

"But they are becoming less frequent," she promised.

"I'm sure you'll be back to normal in no time."

A smile invaded her features at the words of encouragement. She had heard the same words many times, from many different people. It had been years and she had lost hope in those words. But now she truly believed them.

She decided to change the subject, "How is Republic City?"

There was a long pause before the raven-haired girl spoke, clearing her throat, "Good. Yeah, everything is good."

For some reason, the Avatar had the feeling that she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

"Are you sure?" her voice was full with skepticism.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" there was a chuckle at the end of her question, which only caused Korra's eyebrows to furrow.

"Okay…" she extended the 'a' in the word to stress her suspicion, "I talked to Bolin and he was acting weird, too. Happily weird. Mako would not even answer my calls. What is up with you guys?"

"You know Bolin, he was probably just excited to talk to you," the Future Industries owner excused their other friend, "And Mako has been very busy with police work. There are _certain_ things that he needed to care of."

Although she wanted to continue disbelieving what Asami was saying, she allowed her body to relax at her words. If there was something they were hiding from her, she was sure that she would find out eventually.

"Fair enough," letting out a sigh, she tried to lighten up the awkward vibe of the conversation, "Guess who my Earthbending teacher is?" without waiting for an answer, she said, "Toph Beifong."

There was a gasp of surprise on the other end, "You met Toph? What is she like?"

"A cranky, more miserable version of Lin," the blue-eyed girl answered with a lopsided smirk.

Asami whistled and the brunette could not stop herself from laughing.

* * *

She did not know how it was possible to miss a place she had never been to before, but she did. She had missed this island dearly. As she leaned over her balcony railing, taking in the breathtaking views, the feeling grew stronger. That only strengthened the thought that her past lives were surfacing within her, very slowly, but reappearing nonetheless. So whatever she felt, she was certain Aang did too.

It was reassuring.

Although still unable to feel wholly, she felt comforted by the idea that she was not alone, internally and externally. Yes, she had suffered enough for a lifetime, and something told her that it was just the beginning. She was only twenty, so unless something went terribly wrong, she had her whole life ahead of her.

But she was lucky, surrounded by people who loved her and had her back no matter what. Not many had the privilege to say the same thing.

Her hands traced the soft fabric of the blindfold, as she watched the moon above her. It was not full, of course, otherwise she would have locked herself up somewhere. There was a part of her that feared it and another part that welcomed it. As a Waterbender, it was the source of her power, but as a Bloodbender, it was only a step closer to more destruction and death.

She shook her head, as if to shake her fears away, only to think of Republic City. Her conversation with Asami replayed in her mind, and every time she went over her friend's words, she worried a little more. There was something going on, something she was not telling her.

It could have been just her imagination, but she doubted it. She knew that tone. She had used it many times when she had tried to hide the truth from someone who did not need to hear it. Of course, she did not want to over-analyze something she had no idea about and come up with conclusions that were based purely on a sketchy telephone call. But she could not help but wonder.

Just as she continued to stroke the piece of cloth, she stopped dead in her tracks.

Looking around, she scanned her surroundings. Her breathing started to quicken and she could feel her pulse matching its pace.

She had the strange feeling that she was being watched.

Whatever she was thinking was soon replaced by anxiety, because she knew that her mind was playing tricks on her again. Her eyes darted from side to side, trying to catch a glimpse of her bright-eyed apparition, but found nothing.

Ever since she had arrived in Ember Island, she had seen her doppelgänger a few times, but it had been brief. Usually when that happened, she made herself a cup of tea to calm herself down and then it would be gone.

Before anything got out of hand, she turned on her heels, and moved towards her room. Just as she was about to close the balcony door, she eyed the area again, looking for anything out of the ordinary.

The vision was nowhere to be seen.

She sighed and disappeared into the cottage.

Unbeknownst to her, the eyes watching her every move were not visions. They were real.

* * *

 **A/N:** I would like to hear your theories/opinions on the last sentence of the chapter. Notes:

1\. This is a Makorra story, yes, but the Korrasami friendship is something I always loved from the show. Romantically, not so much, but I respect everyone's OTP. It was still very beautiful to watch.

2\. The scene with Toph has quotes from her younger years in ATLA and from the swamp episodes in LOK. Toph has to be blunt, but even though she's harsh, she does care about Korra.

Also, Shot-out to StevenBodner for his always helpful suggestions.

 **Reviews are always appreciated.**

 **Thank you for reading.**


	17. XVII

**A/N:** Keep in mind that there is a **day or two-day difference between each line break.** The chapter goes from Republic City to Ember Island.

* * *

"Fire is the element of power. The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want."

– **Iroh**

* * *

 **XVII**

She had noticed his suspicious attitude the moment she had walked into his apartment.

Sure, he was the secretive type more often than not and did not like to disclose even the simplest of things. But this time was different, she could tell. He was more stiff than usual, his eyebrows were knitted and he barely paid attention to what she was saying.

In his defense, whatever she was saying was not that fascinating to begin with, but he would have normally at least tried to look interested. Today, he was not even aware of how rude he was being towards her.

As they had a cup of tea in his leaving room, he would stare at his drink for a full minute before she had to snap him back to reality. He would mumble a quick apology and they would start once more. He was definitely distracted, it did not take a genius to figure it out, but she would without a doubt find out the reason behind it.

"Is everything okay?" her green eyes found his tired ones.

"Hm?" he sleepily said, "Yeah, everything is alright."

She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at his answer, "Have you been sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Eating?"

"Yes."

"Then why–"

"Asami, please," with a grunt, he interrupted her question. He noticed the hurt in her eyes and his expression softened, "It's just work related stuff. Don't worry."

After listening to his explanation, her muscles relaxed, but she could not shake off the feeling that there was more to it than what he let out. This was Mako, after all. The last time they had met, soon after they had arrived in Republic City, he seemed perfectly fine with his job.

There were a million things that could possibly be bothering him. He had to worry about himself and also about someone who was miles way. Asami understood that he was not very open when it came to his feelings and she did not want to intrude, but she cared about him dearly and wanted him to know that he could always trust her with whatever was consuming his thoughts.

"Is it about Korra?" at the mention of her name, his jaw clenched immediately. The raven-haired girl did not need any further confirmation. He seemed to realize that his tense expression gave away whatever he was hiding, so his face loosened up.

She placed her hand on top of his, "You know you can tell me anything."

His golden eyes studied her for a few seconds, as if trying to decide whether or not she could be trusted.

After what felt like ages, he said, "You cannot tell anyone about this," his tone was completely serious and she could feel her curiosity peak, "Especially not _her_."

It was not needed to clarify who _she_ was. The moment he began to explain what he and the police force had been up to for the past couple of days, she felt her tongue dry up. She wanted to believe it was impossible, but the more reasonable part of her brain knew that it was meant to happen.

 _Her_ greatest fears were coming true.

* * *

She had been listening to Lord Zuko the entire morning and they were definitely some of the most interesting stories she had ever heard.

Sometimes it felt slightly surreal to be spending time with teachers from one of her past lives. To say that she was still wowed by it would have been an understatement.

It was beyond inspiring to hear how such a hero like him could have struggled so much throughout his life. But then again, struggling and suffering were the keys that shaped him into the hero he was. What he had overcome… amazing. She had no other words to describe the admiration she felt for this man.

He knew what it was to fail and disappoint others, and Korra felt immediately drawn to his past despair. She, too, was familiar with the whole concept of failure. She had made bad decisions during her short life, just like the next person, and she had had to deal with the horrible consequences.

She liked to believe that she was not the same girl who escaped to Republic City years ago.

"After a confrontation with my sister, Azula, my uncle decided to teach me more advanced styles of Firebending," continued the scarred man with his tale, "Lightning generation."

Her interested grew at the mention of the bending technique. It was one that the White Lotus had refused to teach her until she was more mature. She lacked restraint, they had always said.

"How was it?" she voiced with child-like anticipation.

"Difficult," the Firebender answered honestly, recalling the times his attempts ended up in explosions when learning with his uncle, "I was not able to do it at all."

"Oh," and then she whispered the only thing one could have asked such a respected man, "Why not?"

Smiling at her curiosity, the elder explained, "Fire is an expression of energy. Of your inner energy as well."

She nodded, thinking back to the similar conversation they have shared of her birthday.

"And in order to produce lightning, one needs a peaceful mind. At the time, I was a troubled boy. The last thing I had was peace."

His last sentence struck a sadness within her, because she could only imagine what it was like to go through what he did. But here he was, a changed man, at least compared to who he was before the end of the Hundred Year War. And he was not just any man, he was a legend, an inspiration. Just like Aang, just like Toph and Katara.

"How did you–" moving her hands, she tried to phrase the question she was thinking of, "Forget all of that? I mean… How did you find peace?"

"It is not about forgetting what once was, but about accepting it. Your grief and battles make you who you are," he said warmly with a smile as he took a sip of his tea, "I needed time to know _who I was and what I wanted._ It allowed me to rediscover myself and take the right path."

"But I know who I am–" she expressed out of frustration.

"Yet you're still scared," he interrupted her calmly, contrasting her exasperated demeanor.

She opened and closed her mouth, unable to come up with an argument. Even though she would not say it out loud, it was obvious, she was still afraid. Afraid of what was and what could have been. Afraid of what could happen in the future. Afraid of the _now._

As much as she hated it, it was her reality. She should have been used to it by now, but fear was not something she liked to give in to. It showed others her weaknesses.

She absolutely despised it.

"Being scared does not make you any less of a person," he spoke as if reading her thoughts, "It is only natural. Aang himself was afraid of many things. Do you think it made him any weaker?"

Shaking her head, she pressed her lips into a thin line. After everything she had heard and knew first-hand about her past live, it was impossible for her to think of him as anything less than what he truly was. One of the bravest, kindest people that had ever walked on this Earth.

"You're not any weaker either."

Eyeing the man in front of her, she allowed herself to believe his words. How could she not? If there was anyone who knew something about conquering inner demons, it was her mentor.

"Could you ignite a small flame for me?"

With a minimal move of her hand, fire appeared on top of her palm. She tried to regulate her breathing to prevent it from burning out or getting out of hand, literally. It was all about control.

"Good," complimented the Firebender, although she did not think it was anything worth complimenting, "I would like you to maintain it for as long as you can. Hours, if possible."

The last thing she wanted was to sound disrespectful, but she did not get the point, "Why?"

"Familiarize with your element again. It is a part of you, and it is asking you to release it," he clarified, "This energy that you have become disconnected with."

And he knew as well as she did that she had not only been disconnected from the element, but from herself. She understood what he meant. Fire was not destruction. It was life. Her drive and passion were somewhere within her, surfacing with every passing day during which she tried to recover.

But she could not recover fully unless she was one with her elements again. She was the Avatar, they were a part of her.

"After the war was over, I was able to learn lightning generation. I found peace in my surroundings and within myself," started the grey-haired royal, "I believe you will, too."

Her eyebrows shot up, her flame growing slightly stronger by her excitement, "You think I'm ready?"

"You will be very soon."

* * *

"Mako, slow down!"

But she knew he would not listen and would not care. She could not blame him either, as her own heart was beating horribly fast and her surroundings suddenly became unimportant. That being said, she also did not want to fall off his motorcycle.

Avoiding pedestrians and Satomobiles alike, they drove through the streets at a speed that would have definitely gotten them a speeding ticket, if not for the fact that a police officer himself was on duty.

The young entrepreneur had been visiting the Firebender to tell him about the recent phone call she had with Korra. Apparently he had not been taking her calls, but it was not Asami's place to judge him for it. She knew what he was keeping from her. What they were all keeping from her.

It was for the best.

What she did not know would not hurt her. At least that is what she told herself when she lied to her best friend. But they could not keep something like this hidden forever. And if they were lucky, the Avatar would not need to find out the hard way.

Their brief conversation had been interrupted by Mako's police radio, and that was when both of them held their breath and stared at each other.

" _Calling all units. Unknown group attempting to reach maximum security facility in the mountains. Backup needed. Do not allow them to access the river. I repeat, do not allow them to access the river. Units responding, identify."_

Time seemed to slow down after the two heard those few sentences.

They both knew what it meant, _who_ was trying to break into which prison and _who_ they were trying to break in for.

World leaders had been anticipating an attack on said prison, but no one had expected it to be so soon. The White Lotus made sure that the facilities were as unreachable as possible, but they were not impenetrable.

Without exchanging any words, the two jumped on his motorcycle and made their way towards the city outskirts. Every now and then they would pass another police patrol heading in the same direction. Usually, there would not be as many police officers on the same mission, but this time, it seemed to be dangerous enough.

Anyone who knew what they did would have agreed that what was happening was to be handled immediately.

They would not let him escape. Not this time. No matter what, they would not.

Zaheer was not getting out.

* * *

There were many things keeping Korra up at night.

Sometimes she thought of good things, such as her parents, her friends, Mako. Some other times, she did not have a choice on the things she thought about. They would simply crawl to the front of her mind, nagging her until she was forced to pay attention to them.

Her demons, her worries, her insecurities.

She was meant to have them, just like any other person. It seemed like an endless list to her. When she was freed from one for the night, the other would make an appearance and keep her from slumber. As exhausting as it was and as much as she wanted to get rid of them most of the time, she thought they were somewhat necessary.

To feel pain, to feel sympathy. It made her human.

But yes, it was tiring. At least the nightmares and visions were less frequent now, although appearing more often than she had expected. It still gave her some hope, because no matter how small the progress was, it was progress nonetheless.

A particular thought in her mind was her conversation with Asami a couple of days ago. The Sato Heiress was not one to keep secrets from her, so whatever it was, it must have been significant enough for her to betray the Avatar's trust.

Then again, she could be completely wrong.

She did not know what to think anymore, and quite sincerely, she did not want to think about it either. But as always, the night brought many thoughts and places that she did not want to visit when all she wanted was to sleep.

It would take her some time to fall asleep, she knew. It was always the same.

Insomnia was one of her greatest problem at night.

She was not hanging between slumber and reality, she was perfectly aware of all sounds around her. Aware of how the wind danced with the palm trees on the beach, of how the waves crashed against the shore, of how some birds tweeted outside of her window.

And she was mostly aware of the door of her room opening quietly.

Not a second after, her mind traveled to the night she thought she was being watched. No. She did not _think_ she was being watched, she was _certain_ of it. She had not told anyone about it, since it had not happened again.

The longer she listened to the person moving around the room, she was more and more convinced that maybe she should have told someone. Whoever this was, it was not Katara, or Jinora, who were surely sleeping somewhere in the cottage.

She decided to play it smart and remain immobile. When the intruder was close enough, she would make her move, and take him or her by surprise. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation like the time the Red Lotus almost kidnapped her in Zaofu.

However, the moment the intruder sat on her bed, she felt very confused. It seemed like a very careless motion for someone who might have wanted to hurt her. But she would not let her guard down. Her hand twitched, waiting for the right time to strike, if needed.

And the second she felt the person touch her arm, she raised the other one to airbend the trespasser across the room.

But the attempt was stopped when a hand firmly grasped her attacking wrist. Her first instinct was to scream, but another hand covered her mouth. Her blue eyes opened widely at the situation, her breathing and pulse quickening dangerously. Even though she wanted to calm herself to avoid another heart incident, she could not.

Before she could fight her way out of the grip, she heard a soft, "It's okay."

Her eyes blinked repeatedly at the voice. She did not need to hear it twice to recognize it, but that did not mean she was any less confused. Regardless of her current state of panic, she still felt more at ease thanks to the visitor.

As soon as she relaxed, and her vision was able to focus on the body in front of her, she noticed his bright golden eyes.

"You are okay."

As much as she wanted to ask questions that had been growing in her mind, all of them were forgotten the moment his lips were on hers. It felt electric, just like every other time they had kissed, as if a part of her was being completed. But this time, there was a certain need coming from him, like he wanted to make sure she was real and she was there.

"You're okay," he repeated embracing her hard enough to take the air out of her. He then stroked her hair.

She needed him too.

"They don't know I'm here," the Firebender said, "I have a lot of explaining to do tomorrow."

With a quiet laugh, she answered, "Yes, you do."

She did not sleep much that night, but at least it was for a good reason.

* * *

 **A/N:** The chapter jumped back from one setting to the other, but the suspense effect was my intention. A few notes necessary:

1\. This was meant to raise a lot of questions. Whether Zaheer got out or not, how Mako ended up in Ember Island and so on. I would like to hear your theories. But everything will be answered eventually.

2\. I must clarify that Mako was **not** the watcher from the end of the previous chapter. Someone else was indeed watching Korra.

 **I would very much appreciate the reviews with your thoughts, so please, share them. It definitely motivates me to update faster.**

 **Thank you!**


	18. XVIII

**A/N:** It has been a while! I must apologize for taking so long to update this chapter. It was a fantastic, yet busy month. But when I updated my other story two days ago, I promised I was going to update this one soon. And I did!

If you haven't checked my story _Clandestine_ , please do so.

* * *

" _You are concerned for your survival, but you must surrender those fears. Let your fears flow down the creek."_

– **Pathik**

* * *

 **XVIII**

"I am sorry," Mako said wholeheartedly after finishing the tale of the Red Lotus successful escape plan. He held his breath as he looked at the three seniors in front of him.

Silence consumed the circle, eyes traveled back and forth while they waited for the first one to open their mouth. His Adam's apple moved up and down as he fidgeted with the sleeves of his jacket. He did not know whether to feel scared or ashamed or nervous or frustrated. Perhaps even all of them. Although everyone would claim that what happened was not his fault, the weight on his shoulders would not be easily lifted. If it would be lifted at all. The consequences of the mishap were tremendous, but they would not directly affect him.

It was all about _her_.

When he had failed to stop Zaheer, as had the rest of the police and other allies, he had failed _her_. It was not only about letting an enemy escape, but about bringing her worst and most traumatizing nightmares back to life.

She was strong. Stronger than anyone he ever had the luck to encounter, but this was not a simple obstacle nor a mere battle. It was reliving the most horrible pain she had ever experienced in her life, all of that for a group of people who wanted to take her life to begin with.

And he would have done anything to protect her. He did everything he could, at least he tried to tell himself that every waking second. The moment that the Airbender had escaped his prison, the Firebender knew that he had to get to her no matter what.

Regardless of the rules, of his job, of the punishments that he would have to face in the future. But it did not matter. None of that mattered if he could not know that she was safe. It was something he _had_ to do.

He loved her.

Whether he would feel like that forever or not, whether she knew it or not, whether he would ever say it out loud again or not. He knew the answer to all of those was yes.

Clearing her throat, the Waterbender addressed the issue, "The White Lotus and the World Leaders need to be alerted immediately."

"They are most certainly already informed," assumed the former Fire Lord, locking his hands in thought, "What surprises me is the fact that we were not."

"Well, they sent us this one, didn't they?" Toph pointed out as she tilted her head in the young man's direction.

The dark-haired man pressed his lips into a thin line, a crease forming in his forehead, "Actually..."

"No one knows you're here," Zuko finished for him with a sigh.

"He cannot be that stupid," the three elders stared at him as the Earthbender interjected. When he did not reply and refused to meet their eyes, they got their answer. The former Chief of Police corrected herself, "Apparently he is that stupid."

Placing her hand on top of his, the Water Tribe woman exhaled, "Mako, I know you want to be with her. But you can't defy the verdict of the trial."

He tiredly ran a hand through his hair, finally locking eyes with the blue eyed woman, "I know it was not a smart decision," he heard the Metalbender snort but continued, "What can they do, really? Take her away and lock her up? They'll be doing her a favor anyway. She's not safe here."

"The kid has a point," agreed the Earth Kingdom elder, "But she's not safe anywhere. Do you think a few ice walls are going to stop Zaheer?"

The thought itself was terrifying, because it was absolutely true. It did not matter where she hid, she could not hide from the Red Lotus forever. For all they knew, Zaheer was watching them at this very moment.

But it could not be so soon, he kept telling himself to ease his mind from stress. They needed time to prepare. _She_ needed time. He was not sure how she would take the news, but even in the best scenario, it would shake her up immensely. But the best scenario barely ever happened. Regardless of when or how he delivered the news, it was going to upset her. And that was an understatement.

"Korra has not been able to enter the Avatar state, has she?" the scarred man in Fire Nation robes asked with furrowed eyebrows.

They turned their heads to observe Katara, whose expression remained composed in spite of the uneasiness that they were all feeling. The woman was the closest person to the Avatar for the time being, and no one knew her better than said Waterbender.

"No," she replied after thinking for a few seconds. Although she sounded calm, Mako could tell that there was an uncertainty to her words.

"That is not going to save her forever," added Zuko as the rest assented.

"He waited thirteen years in a prison. He will not have a problem waiting for her to enter the Avatar State," shrugging her shoulders, the original Beifong said.

Although he was the one who informed the Hundred Year War heroes of what had happened back in Republic City, he still felt left out of the conversation that was now happening. He wanted to help, of course. But whatever ideas or suggestions he could give would never be any match to what such veterans could come up with. There were reasons they were legends.

All he could do was listen and obey. The White Lotus would take charge of the situation soon, _if_ anyone could ever control the bomb that was about to explode.

Slowly but noticeably, he was excluded from the conversation as the elders lowered their voices. He could listen to what they were saying if he tried hard enough, but he took the hint. He was not supposed to listen.

Clearing his throat, the black haired man attracted the attention of the mentors, "Do I have to go back to Republic City?"

The three masters looked at each other before the three shook their heads, "No one will know you are here."

"But you will tell Korra what you have seen," ordered the grey-haired man with a stern expression. Mako did not need to be told twice. He was planning on telling her, as it was something he could not and would not keep from her.

"I will."

* * *

He found her later that night lying on the humid sand of Ember Island.

There was no one on the shore except her, and he was both grateful and scared for that fact. On one hand, it was private enough for him to tell her everything, but on the other one, he felt anxious with the mere thought of her being alone. Like an oblivious prey waiting to be hunted.

He was not sure what terrified him more. If she was alone, anything could happen. He believed she was strong enough to stand her ground, but he did not think she was psychologically ready to face what was coming. She was doing way better, but she was definitely not okay.

A thousand words came to mind, all of them related to the thing that he had to tell her but at the same time did not want to do so. He was not sure how severely it would break her. Perhaps he was underestimating her, but he knew she would crack. Anyone would, he did not blame her.

And he had to be the one to do that to her, to break those news. She seemed so peaceful as she looked at the night sky. He did not want to turn that peace into horror.

He did not want to be that person. But everyone believed that he was the most suited for the job. Not only because he had witnessed Zaheer's escape, but because he could be the one to console her after.

When he sat next to her, she did not even flinch. She did not face him and she did not talk either, she continued watching the sky. He noticed that the moon was shining above them, not full, but still present.

He wondered what demons were haunting her as she stared at it. She had a lot of those. Too many for someone that young.

Her hand moved towards him, and it waited closely next to his for a couple of seconds. He did not hesitate and gladly took it. Running his thumb over her skin, he noticed how soft it was. It was not something that he was supposed to be focusing on, as he had a purpose to be there with her, but he could not help but be engulfed by everything that she was.

She was the first one to break the silence with a gentleness that seemed so strange to her character, "Can you feel everything?"

Although she was not looking at him, his eyes were glued on hers, trying to comprehend what she was talking about. She was serene, making him feel even more troubled than he already was.

"The breeze on your skin. The sand. The water washing on your feet," she started lost in thought, "The warmth of human contact."

The elements. She was describing them in the simple things that she could notice. That is why she seemed so distracted, but then he understood that she was not distracted at all. She was aware of anything and everything around them.

For some reason he was only aware of her.

It was moments like this when he felt so unworthy of her. She was so wise and so unreachable. She did not belong to him, but to the entire world. She was the Avatar.

"You wanted to tell me something," with that sentence, she brought him back to reality, reminding him of his objective, "The reason you are here."

Feeling his tongue dry, he gave her hand a squeeze to let her know that she was right.

Her body tensed up slightly, something most people would not have noticed, but he did, "It cannot be good if you're this distressed."

He could feel his heartbeat quickening and he would have sworn that he had forgotten how to breathe. Just then, she looked at him. Whatever peace that he had seen in her blue eyes was no longer there.

"Mako," she whispered, and there was an urgency when she said his name that made him want the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

How could he ever hurt her like that?

He couldn't.

He could not bear the look in her eyes when he finally told her. But he had to, he had to, he had to.

Placing her palm on his cheek, she forced him to meet her eyes, "Tell me."

"I am so sorry, Korra," he muttered as he choked, "I am truly sorry."

Her mouth hung open, trying to find any kind of revelation in his eyes, "What happened in Republic City?"

"I–" and he could not bring himself to tell her, the thousand words that he had once rehearsed were now gone.

"Mako!" the urgency grew stronger and he could not take it. He could not handle the desperation in her voice any longer.

Taking a deep breath, he found her blue eyes and said, "Zaheer."

He did not think she needed any further explanation. And he was correct. She closed her eyes tightly, so hard that her eyelids began to shake. He grabbed her face between his hands, trying to get to her, but he knew that she was long gone.

Her body started to trembled, and with every passing second, the shivering became stronger.

"Korra, look at me," he commanded to no avail.

She stood up abruptly, her breathing hectic and loud. The Firebender was not sure what to do, but decided to give her space to let it sink in. He _had_ to know what to do. She could not deal with it on her own.

As she walked towards the water, her knees gave in. She fell on the surface but her hands caught her just in time. For the longest minutes of his life, she stayed there on her knees, her hands supporting her weight.

To say that he was scared would have been an understatement. He stopped hearing her uncontrollable breathing and she was no longer shaking. For just a second, he believed that she was calming down.

But he was completely wrong.

She did not move, she did not make a sound. Despite the terror growing inside of him, he approached her slowly.

"Korra?"

And as was expected, she did not answer nor give any kind of acknowledgement. She remained as rigid as a statue.

When he was right next to her, he lowered to her level to place his hand on her shoulder. Her hair was covering her face, which hung low, making it impossible to catch a glimpse of her expression.

"Say something. Anything. Please."

Of all the things that could have occurred after, he would have never expected what had happened next.

The ground started to rumble below him like an earthquake, catching his attention for a moment, and when he looked up at her, all he could see was that blinding light.

Her eyes were glowing.

That white light irradiating from her once blue orbs. He knew what that meant, he had seen it before. She was no longer in control of herself. And there were so many questions that he had no answers to. How could she suddenly enter the Avatar State? Was she hiding this from everyone else? Did her internal chaos provoke it in spite of the poison? He did not know. He could not find out the answers yet.

And if he was completely honest, he did not care either.

All he could think about was the fact that she was in so much pain that it somehow triggered this self-defense mechanism. She was no stranger to pain. And she kept reliving it and reliving it.

His senses kicked in rapidly, forcing him to shake her arm harshly but she gave no response. He could not think anymore.

Just then, blasts of air threw him feet away from her as she started to hover in the air.

As soon as he recovered from the painful crash, he made his way back to her. He fought against the strong hurricane that was circling her, but the wind was too strong for him to get near her.

He was grateful for the fact that it was past midnight and the islanders were already asleep, otherwise the chaos would have alerted anyone nearby. If people had not noticed the commotion already.

"Korra!" he screamed as loud as he could for her to hear, but she didn't. He tried yelling her name many times after, but each attempt was as unsuccessful as the first one.

He covered his face with his arms, protecting it from the bursts of air as he walked towards her. Several times he fell on the sand by the strength of her bending, but after a few tries, he found himself close to her.

Stretching his arm as far as he could, he held onto her hand, making her face whiplash in his direction.

White light looking back at him. There was so much power, so much strength in it.

So much _pain_.

In spite of the danger of the situation and what he knew she could do to him in such state, he did not feel afraid. Yes, he was scared of what the Avatar State meant to her well-being, but he was not scared of her hurting him.

She would never.

"It's me," he said desperately, hoping to pull her out of her eye-glowing trance, "Mako."

He did not dare move, he just waited for any sign of recognition from her part.

"I'm here," he reminded her, his heart breaking in the process, "Please come back. Please."

Just when he was about to lose hope, as if he could ever give up on her, he felt the wind weaken. A lifetime could have come and gone before she landed in his arms.

She fell against him on the sand with her eyes closed.

As he began to caress her back, whispering soothing words in her ear, she opened her eyes.

They were blue again.

* * *

 **A/N:** this is honestly one of my favorite chapters so far, and the last part made me emotional. Anyways, notes:

1\. You were probably expecting the Air chapter, but no worries, next chapter is coming soon.

2\. Zaheer's escape will be explained next chapter too.

 **Please do share your thoughts and opinion, they make me very happy. Any reviews are appreciated.**

 **Thank you for reading.**


	19. XIX

**A/N:** It has been a while! I must apologize for taking so long to update this chapter. It was a fantastic, yet busy month. But when I updated my other story two days ago, I promised I was going to update this one soon. And I did!

If you haven't checked my story _Clandestine_ , please do so.

* * *

" _You are concerned for your survival, but you must surrender those fears. Let your fears flow down the creek."_

– **Pathik**

* * *

 **XVIII**

"I am sorry," Mako said wholeheartedly after finishing the tale of the Red Lotus successful escape plan. He held his breath as he looked at the three seniors in front of him.

Silence consumed the circle, eyes traveled back and forth while they waited for the first one to open their mouth. His Adam's apple moved up and down as he fidgeted with the sleeves of his jacket. He did not know whether to feel scared or ashamed or nervous or frustrated. Perhaps even all of them. Although everyone would claim that what happened was not his fault, the weight on his shoulders would not be easily lifted. If it would be lifted at all. The consequences of the mishap were tremendous, but they would not directly affect him.

It was all about _her_.

When he had failed to stop Zaheer, as had the rest of the police and other allies, he had failed _her_. It was not only about letting an enemy escape, but about bringing her worst and most traumatizing nightmares back to life.

She was strong. Stronger than anyone he ever had the luck to encounter, but this was not a simple obstacle nor a mere battle. It was reliving the most horrible pain she had ever experienced in her life, all of that for a group of people who wanted to take her life to begin with.

And he would have done anything to protect her. He did everything he could, at least he tried to tell himself that every waking second. The moment that the Airbender had escaped his prison, the Firebender knew that he had to get to her no matter what.

Regardless of the rules, of his job, of the punishments that he would have to face in the future. But it did not matter. None of that mattered if he could not know that she was safe. It was something he _had_ to do.

He loved her.

Whether he would feel like that forever or not, whether she knew it or not, whether he would ever say it out loud again or not. He knew the answer to all of those was yes.

Clearing her throat, the Waterbender addressed the issue, "The White Lotus and the World Leaders need to be alerted immediately."

"They are most certainly already informed," assumed the former Fire Lord, locking his hands in thought, "What surprises me is the fact that we were not."

"Well, they sent us this one, didn't they?" Toph pointed out as she tilted her head in the young man's direction.

The dark-haired man pressed his lips into a thin line, a crease forming in his forehead, "Actually..."

"No one knows you're here," Zuko finished for him with a sigh.

"He cannot be that stupid," the three elders stared at him as the Earthbender interjected. When he did not reply and refused to meet their eyes, they got their answer. The former Chief of Police corrected herself, "Apparently he is that stupid."

Placing her hand on top of his, the Water Tribe woman exhaled, "Mako, I know you want to be with her. But you can't defy the verdict of the trial."

He tiredly ran a hand through his hair, finally locking eyes with the blue eyed woman, "I know it was not a smart decision," he heard the Metalbender snort but continued, "What can they do, really? Take her away and lock her up? They'll be doing her a favor anyway. She's not safe here."

"The kid has a point," agreed the Earth Kingdom elder, "But she's not safe anywhere. Do you think a few ice walls are going to stop Zaheer?"

The thought itself was terrifying, because it was absolutely true. It did not matter where she hid, she could not hide from the Red Lotus forever. For all they knew, Zaheer was watching them at this very moment.

But it could not be so soon, he kept telling himself to ease his mind from stress. They needed time to prepare. _She_ needed time. He was not sure how she would take the news, but even in the best scenario, it would shake her up immensely. But the best scenario barely ever happened. Regardless of when or how he delivered the news, it was going to upset her. And that was an understatement.

"Korra has not been able to enter the Avatar state, has she?" the scarred man in Fire Nation robes asked with furrowed eyebrows.

They turned their heads to observe Katara, whose expression remained composed in spite of the uneasiness that they were all feeling. The woman was the closest person to the Avatar for the time being, and no one knew her better than said Waterbender.

"No," she replied after thinking for a few seconds. Although she sounded calm, Mako could tell that there was an uncertainty to her words.

"That is not going to save her forever," added Zuko as the rest assented.

"He waited thirteen years in a prison. He will not have a problem waiting for her to enter the Avatar State," shrugging her shoulders, the original Beifong said.

Although he was the one who informed the Hundred Year War heroes of what had happened back in Republic City, he still felt left out of the conversation that was now happening. He wanted to help, of course. But whatever ideas or suggestions he could give would never be any match to what such veterans could come up with. There were reasons they were legends.

All he could do was listen and obey. The White Lotus would take charge of the situation soon, _if_ anyone could ever control the bomb that was about to explode.

Slowly but noticeably, he was excluded from the conversation as the elders lowered their voices. He could listen to what they were saying if he tried hard enough, but he took the hint. He was not supposed to listen.

Clearing his throat, the black haired man attracted the attention of the mentors, "Do I have to go back to Republic City?"

The three masters looked at each other before the three shook their heads, "No one will know you are here."

"But you will tell Korra what you have seen," ordered the grey-haired man with a stern expression. Mako did not need to be told twice. He was planning on telling her, as it was something he could not and would not keep from her.

"I will."

* * *

He found her later that night lying on the humid sand of Ember Island.

There was no one on the shore except her, and he was both grateful and scared for that fact. On one hand, it was private enough for him to tell her everything, but on the other one, he felt anxious with the mere thought of her being alone. Like an oblivious prey waiting to be hunted.

He was not sure what terrified him more. If she was alone, anything could happen. He believed she was strong enough to stand her ground, but he did not think she was psychologically ready to face what was coming. She was doing way better, but she was definitely not okay.

A thousand words came to mind, all of them related to the thing that he had to tell her but at the same time did not want to do so. He was not sure how severely it would break her. Perhaps he was underestimating her, but he knew she would crack. Anyone would, he did not blame her.

And he had to be the one to do that to her, to break those news. She seemed so peaceful as she looked at the night sky. He did not want to turn that peace into horror.

He did not want to be that person. But everyone believed that he was the most suited for the job. Not only because he had witnessed Zaheer's escape, but because he could be the one to console her after.

When he sat next to her, she did not even flinch. She did not face him and she did not talk either, she continued watching the sky. He noticed that the moon was shining above them, not full, but still present.

He wondered what demons were haunting her as she stared at it. She had a lot of those. Too many for someone that young.

Her hand moved towards him, and it waited closely next to his for a couple of seconds. He did not hesitate and gladly took it. Running his thumb over her skin, he noticed how soft it was. It was not something that he was supposed to be focusing on, as he had a purpose to be there with her, but he could not help but be engulfed by everything that she was.

She was the first one to break the silence with a gentleness that seemed so strange to her character, "Can you feel everything?"

Although she was not looking at him, his eyes were glued on hers, trying to comprehend what she was talking about. She was serene, making him feel even more troubled than he already was.

"The breeze on your skin. The sand. The water washing on your feet," she started lost in thought, "The warmth of human contact."

The elements. She was describing them in the simple things that she could notice. That is why she seemed so distracted, but then he understood that she was not distracted at all. She was aware of anything and everything around them.

For some reason he was only aware of her.

It was moments like this when he felt so unworthy of her. She was so wise and so unreachable. She did not belong to him, but to the entire world. She was the Avatar.

"You wanted to tell me something," with that sentence, she brought him back to reality, reminding him of his objective, "The reason you are here."

Feeling his tongue dry, he gave her hand a squeeze to let her know that she was right.

Her body tensed up slightly, something most people would not have noticed, but he did, "It cannot be good if you're this distressed."

He could feel his heartbeat quickening and he would have sworn that he had forgotten how to breathe. Just then, she looked at him. Whatever peace that he had seen in her blue eyes was no longer there.

"Mako," she whispered, and there was an urgency when she said his name that made him want the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

How could he ever hurt her like that?

He couldn't.

He could not bear the look in her eyes when he finally told her. But he had to, he had to, he had to.

Placing her palm on his cheek, she forced him to meet her eyes, "Tell me."

"I am so sorry, Korra," he muttered as he choked, "I am truly sorry."

Her mouth hung open, trying to find any kind of revelation in his eyes, "What happened in Republic City?"

"I–" and he could not bring himself to tell her, the thousand words that he had once rehearsed were now gone.

"Mako!" the urgency grew stronger and he could not take it. He could not handle the desperation in her voice any longer.

Taking a deep breath, he found her blue eyes and said, "Zaheer."

He did not think she needed any further explanation. And he was correct. She closed her eyes tightly, so hard that her eyelids began to shake. He grabbed her face between his hands, trying to get to her, but he knew that she was long gone.

Her body started to trembled, and with every passing second, the shivering became stronger.

"Korra, look at me," he commanded to no avail.

She stood up abruptly, her breathing hectic and loud. The Firebender was not sure what to do, but decided to give her space to let it sink in. He _had_ to know what to do. She could not deal with it on her own.

As she walked towards the water, her knees gave in. She fell on the surface but her hands caught her just in time. For the longest minutes of his life, she stayed there on her knees, her hands supporting her weight.

To say that he was scared would have been an understatement. He stopped hearing her uncontrollable breathing and she was no longer shaking. For just a second, he believed that she was calming down.

But he was completely wrong.

She did not move, she did not make a sound. Despite the terror growing inside of him, he approached her slowly.

"Korra?"

And as was expected, she did not answer nor give any kind of acknowledgement. She remained as rigid as a statue.

When he was right next to her, he lowered to her level to place his hand on her shoulder. Her hair was covering her face, which hung low, making it impossible to catch a glimpse of her expression.

"Say something. Anything. Please."

Of all the things that could have occurred after, he would have never expected what had happened next.

The ground started to rumble below him like an earthquake, catching his attention for a moment, and when he looked up at her, all he could see was that blinding light.

Her eyes were glowing.

That white light irradiating from her once blue orbs. He knew what that meant, he had seen it before. She was no longer in control of herself. And there were so many questions that he had no answers to. How could she suddenly enter the Avatar State? Was she hiding this from everyone else? Did her internal chaos provoke it in spite of the poison? He did not know. He could not find out the answers yet.

And if he was completely honest, he did not care either.

All he could think about was the fact that she was in so much pain that it somehow triggered this self-defense mechanism. She was no stranger to pain. And she kept reliving it and reliving it.

His senses kicked in rapidly, forcing him to shake her arm harshly but she gave no response. He could not think anymore.

Just then, blasts of air threw him feet away from her as she started to hover in the air.

As soon as he recovered from the painful crash, he made his way back to her. He fought against the strong hurricane that was circling her, but the wind was too strong for him to get near her.

He was grateful for the fact that it was past midnight and the islanders were already asleep, otherwise the chaos would have alerted anyone nearby. If people had not noticed the commotion already.

"Korra!" he screamed as loud as he could for her to hear, but she didn't. He tried yelling her name many times after, but each attempt was as unsuccessful as the first one.

He covered his face with his arms, protecting it from the bursts of air as he walked towards her. Several times he fell on the sand by the strength of her bending, but after a few tries, he found himself close to her.

Stretching his arm as far as he could, he held onto her hand, making her face whiplash in his direction.

White light looking back at him. There was so much power, so much strength in it.

So much _pain_.

In spite of the danger of the situation and what he knew she could do to him in such state, he did not feel afraid. Yes, he was scared of what the Avatar State meant to her well-being, but he was not scared of her hurting him.

She would never.

"It's me," he said desperately, hoping to pull her out of her eye-glowing trance, "Mako."

He did not dare move, he just waited for any sign of recognition from her part.

"I'm here," he reminded her, his heart breaking in the process, "Please come back. Please."

Just when he was about to lose hope, as if he could ever give up on her, he felt the wind weaken. A lifetime could have come and gone before she landed in his arms.

She fell against him on the sand with her eyes closed.

As he began to caress her back, whispering soothing words in her ear, she opened her eyes.

They were blue again.

* * *

 **A/N:** this is honestly one of my favorite chapters so far, and the last part made me emotional. Anyways, notes:

1\. You were probably expecting the Air chapter, but no worries, next chapter is coming soon.

2\. Zaheer's escape will be explained next chapter too.

 **Please do share your thoughts and opinion, they make me very happy. Any reviews are appreciated.**

 **Thank you for reading.**


	20. XX

_You must gain balance within yourself, before you can bring balance to the world._

 _– **Pathik**_

* * *

 **XX**

Sometimes she believed that she had been cursed. Maybe she was just naturally unlucky. Going through what she had, it was not a farfetched idea at all. During her lifetime, she had failed and failed repeatedly. She had disappointed others and been disappointed herself, she had lost and suffered. And every time she thought it could not get any worse, the Spirits or someone took this as a challenge to prove to her that, yes, it could get immensely worse.

It seemed that it would continue to be that way.

This time around, though, she believed that there was a reason for all of it. If she looked at the progress she had made on a daily basis, it was not noticeable enough for her to feel encouraged or proud. But when she thought back to the weeks she was attached to a wheelchair, the change had been undeniably significant.

She was stronger.

Everybody believed that, and for a while, she hadn't. She could only feel herself growing weaker and more dependent on people to protect her. Because there were certain scenarios in which she believed she could not protect herself anymore, when in reality she was only scared to get hurt again.

Deep down she was aware of that. Pain was part of her life. Of everyone's lives, really.

Before she had arrived in Republic City, she had been living inside a bubble. She merely had an idea of what it meant to be the Avatar. Experiencing what it was to live in the real world, that's what had defined her as an individual.

Everyone had known that she was strong since she was a child. That she was talented, that she was gifted, that she was a prodigy. They were not necessarily wrong either.

But the bending lessons and politic meetings and whatnot had not had the most significant impact in the person she was today. Otherwise she would have still been the same hot-headed, act-now-think-later 17-year-old girl. Experience, that was the impact she needed.

She had learned from it, from suffering, and last but not least, from her mistakes. And she had learned the hard way.

Even though she was afraid of the unpredictable future, she was not going to let the fear diminish all of the progress that she had tried so hard to accomplish these past few years. It had been a long way to where she was now, and she was not going back.

Being scared was natural, but being a coward… That had never been Korra.

"Lord Zuko?" while knocking on the front door of the house, she called her mentor, "It's me, Korra."

She rocked herself on her feet while waiting for someone to open the door. For some unknown reason, she was nervous. It came as a shock of some sort, since she had never been nervous regarding this specific matter. Excitement was more of a feeling she had anticipated, but she was just… tense.

As the door opened, a familiar face greeted her with a solemn smile, "Korra," and with a nod, he added, "I was certain you would come sooner rather than later."

While nodding in return, she gave him a sheepish smile, "There have been a few–" she scratched the back of her neck looking for the right word, "Complications."

If one could call entering the Avatar state in the least convenient time a simple complication.

With a raised eyebrow, he motioned towards the inside of his house, inviting her in.

The royal sat on one sofa, the brunette taking a seat opposite to him.

"Would you like to talk about these _complications_?" the way he stressed the last word made her think that maybe he was very well informed already. She had talked to Katara about the incident, after all. She doubted her Waterbending mentor would keep silent about something so crucial and dangerous.

"You see," she started, taking a deep breath as she remembered what had happened a couple of nights ago, "When I first heard about everything that happened in Republic City, I got really agitated. I know everyone expected that."

He remained as calm as ever, with his amber eyes calculating her every word. She did not understand why exactly, as he most likely already knew what had happened to her to begin with.

"We expected it."

Assenting in defeat, although she was not surprised, she continued, "In fact, I was so agitated that I lost control," her blue eyes found the floor as she gulped, "And I entered the Avatar state."

From the corner of her eyes, she looked at the scarred man, awaiting his reaction. She would have expected anything. A disappointed or worried expression, angry even. Nothing.

"I must agree that the timing is a bit inconvenient," the former Fire Lord expressed after a few seconds of silence, the corners of his lips raising understandingly, "But it was meant to happen regardless."

"I know," she exhaled, burying her face in her hands.

She felt a hand squeeze her shoulder, causing her to raise her head, "The Avatar state is a part of you. You cannot deny it. Let's not dwell on the negative consequences, but rather concentrate on the positive side of it."

"But I can't control it, or myself while in it," explained the young Water Tribe woman, "I can't access it at will like I used to."

"You are not who you used to be either," the elder countered.

Letting his words sink in, she stayed silent for a while. As much as she wanted to argue, she knew he was right. She had been thinking the exact same thing for some time, too.

She had grown and changed. For the better, she liked to believe.

"I can understand your struggle," he said sympathetically, "Aang had problems regarding the Avatar state as well. Many, actually."

Her eyebrows automatically rose with interest, recalling the stories that she had heard from Katara as a child.

Sensing her curiosity, the Firebender continued his tale, "He almost died while he was in the Avatar state. My sister–" he cleared his throat, although Korra couldn't understand the reason behind it, "Azula struck him with lightning. We were in Ba Sing Se at the time. He almost didn't survive, but–"

"Katara healed him," she finished for him, astonished at the memory of a young Katara saving the Avatar.

"Yes," he moved his head up and down, "Azula was a prodigy and it pains me to admit it, but that was a perfect shot. Anyone would have expected that to be the end of the Avatar cycle permanently."

"He was lucky," struggled the blue-eyed girl to say with a dried tongue.

The thought of a last Avatar sent shivers up and down her spine. She could have sworn that all color left her cheeks, as she fought to keep the memories of her own close call against the Red Lotus. And although she panicked internally for a moment, there was some comfort in Zuko's story. She had not been the only one to go through something that horrific. Aang had too, and that made her feel more at ease.

"Think of this incident as a step closer to regaining the connection to your past lives," his suggestion was sincere and not at all judgmental, which she appreciated, "And speaking of lightning–"

Inhaling deeply, she met his gaze, disappointed, "Lord Zuko, I know what you're going to say. That I'm unbalanced, that I'm not ready yet–"

"In all sincerity, I believe you are ready," contradicted the grey-haired man as her mouth hung open. She heard him chuckle soon after.

"But I just told you I am not in control," she said in disbelief, a crease forming in her forehead, "I don't think it's a good idea to learn this technique when I have yet to find peace in my mind."

He stared at her for a few seconds as if he was looking into her very own soul, "The fact that you're aware of your own struggles and weaknesses leads me to believe that you are, indeed, ready."

Biting her lower lip, she closed her eyes as he waited for her answer.

"This skill is all about guiding the energy, not commanding it. Perhaps it will teach you what you're looking for," he held out his hand for her to take as he continued, "You can't see it now, but you're more balanced than you have been in a long time, Korra."

And without thinking any further, she placed her hand in his.

* * *

"It's understandable if you're nervous," the man in royal Fire Nation garments said wholeheartedly, "But I saw you train during your very first Firebending lessons. You're a natural."

Trying and failing not to blush, the woman bowed before mouthing, "Thank you," it wasn't something she had never heard before, but coming from such a heroic figure, it felt different.

"Shall we begin?"

As she ignored the churning in her stomach, she answered, "Let's do this."

"Lightning generation is all about separating the energies. Positive and negative. Yin and Yang," motioning with his right arm and then the left one, he explained, "By separating them, the Firebender causes an imbalance. When these energies crash together again, you release them."

He stepped back away from her, starting the motions that he had already shown. He moved his right arm up, the left one following soon after. From his fingertips, and around him, she could see the lightning being created by the imbalance. The ambiance felt charged with electricity, making her feel excited for what was yet to come.

Raising his arm, he pointed his fingers up and released the energy, which illuminated the sky.

"Wow," she said with a smile, "You make it look so easy."

"It isn't," he reminded her with a stern look, "But I believe you can do it."

She prepared herself to mimic his motions, but he stopped her with a hand, "What?"

"You're not generating lightning today," when she was about to protest, he spoke, "Although this is a helpful technique in combat, there is something else you should learn that is more important."

All of sudden, someone ran quickly towards the courtyard, catching their attention, "I apologize for my lateness, Lord Zuko, I–"

The intruder closed his mouth as he looked at her from across the yard. She waved at him, but he did nothing. Typical Mako.

Furrowing her brows, she noticed that he was focused on what she was wearing. It hit her right there that it was the first time he actually had the opportunity to pay attention to her clothing. She could not tell whether he liked the Fire Nation style on her, but if his face was hint enough, he definitely did not hate it.

She could not help but giggle at his choked reaction.

On the other hand, she was also surprised by the fact that he was wearing Fire Nation robes himself. Not that there was anything wrong with the police officer uniform, but the red robe with maroon and yellow vest brought out something special about him.

The sound of someone clearing his throat brought them back from their intense stare contest, causing their cheeks to crimson.

"Thanks for joining us, Mako," said the elder as he looked at them respectively with a raised eyebrow.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him, fighting the grin that threatened to break through.

He shrugged, letting her know that he had no clue either.

"As I was saying, lightning generation is a skill that not every Firebender can master. It takes time and practice, and we will start eventually."

The two young adults looked at him in confusion, not knowing what his point was exactly.

"That being said," the elder explained, "There is another technique that you _must_ learn. We don't know what kind of enemies you will be facing in the future, so you have to prepare yourself."

"So we are not working with lightning," the tone of the younger Firebender was full with uncertainty.

With a nod, the war hero answered, "We are."

Both Mako's and Korra's mouths formed an 'o' as they realized what he had meant, "Lightning redirection."

"I am aware of your abilities when it comes to the already mentioned skills," he said as he turned to Mako, "Katara told me something about a well-executed lightning generation when Korra had that heart attack."

The black-haired man remained silent, a shade of pink tinting his cheeks. The young Avatar nudged him on his side, narrowing her eyes at him, "Yes. He is very talented."

"Which is why I believe he should train with you," the couple looked at each other with worried eyes, "But I will be helping you through it."

She wondered then why she had never asked Mako to teach her said techniques, just like she had asked Bolin to teach her his moves when she had first met him. The last few years had been chaotic, to say the least. But she knew that there was a lot she could learn from the Firebender brother, bending related or not.

"My uncle invented this technique by studying Waterbenders," Zuko caught the Avatar's attention with the introduction, "Waterbending deals with the flow of energy. Now, we redirect lightning by letting it follow the energy in our own bodies."

He moved towards Mako, motioning for him to start his demonstration. The younger man opened his arms widely. First, his hands were placed next to each other, on his left side. Then, his right arm started to move back to his left shoulder and then down to his stomach. It went up again towards the right shoulder, stretching his right arm out completely.

"You must direct your own energy from your fingertips towards your shoulders, then down to your stomach, and up to the shoulders again," he instructed as Mako continued with the redirection motions, "But never let the energy go through the heart. You can try it out with Mako now."

Gulping, she started to copy the man's actions.

In, down, up, out. In, down, up, out. She repeated as many times as it took for her body to start doing the motions naturally. For a while, she even forgot where she was and what she was doing, she just let her body redirect her own energy.

"Very good, Korra," complimented the grey-haired royal.

After repeating the steps a few more times, the two of them stopped.

"Maybe we could try it with lightning now?" she suggested eagerly as she looked at her mentor.

The scarred man stroked his beard in thought, while Mako immediately refused, "What? No! Are you insane?"

"Why not?" she challenged with crossed arms.

"I'm not going to strike you with lightning!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I won't!"

"Enough," the elder interrupted their short bickering, "Mako, you can regulate the voltage of your lightning, correct?"

With a long sigh, since he knew what that meant, he gave in, "Yes."

"As long as it is not a lethal shot, Korra should have no problem," Zuko said to the Firebender, before turning to the Avatar, "And this is no game, are you sure you want to do this?"

She nodded.

"Fair enough," the brooding black-haired man agreed, taking his stance.

The moment that lightning appeared from his fingertips, she knew she was ready. It had nothing to do with how many times she practiced or how strong her position was. Just like Zuko had said, she was a natural.

Bending was what she was born to do. It was who she was.

She could see the hesitation in the Firebender's eyes. The fear of something going wrong. The fear of her getting hurt, and on top of that, of it being his fault.

But she was ready. He knew it too.

As soon as the lighting left his fingertips, traveling in her direction, she caught it with her own.

Time seemed to freeze after that. Everything around her appeared to be in slow motion.

She felt the energy in her body seeking for release, waiting for her to guide it back out of her body. It felt exhilarating to have that amount of energy inside of her. The power. And she knew exactly what to do to redirect it. No missteps, no mistakes.

What she did after was no mistake whatsoever.

It had been a choice. One that she knew the repercussions of.

But it was something that she had to do. Something within her, or rather _someone_ , told her to let go. She felt it in every single pore, in every corner of her being. _Let go_ , she heard over and over.

Her eyes must have given her away, as the two Firebenders near her screamed, "No!" their amber eyes shot open, but there was nothing they could have done to prevent it nor stop it.

She had listened to the voice inside of her head.

And even though she could have listed a thousand reasons not to do it, she allowed her legs to give in to her weight, her body spasming due to the uncontrollable energy inside of her, which she had failed to release.

It was not a lethal shot, they all knew. But Spirits, it hurt so unbelievably much. It burned throughout her body. No wonder they called it cold fire. And it continued hurting.

But then it didn't.

For a moment, she felt much lighter than she usually was. In fact, she felt nothing at all.

When she opened her eyes, confusion overtook her as she noticed that she could see her body lying in front of her.

Somehow she was not inside of her body anymore. She panicked when the thought that maybe she had died went through her head, but it was impossible.

Was it?

She observed as a hysteric Mako hurried next to her, immediately grabbing her wrist. The terror in his eyes was palpable for what seemed like forever, but as soon as he exhaled in relief, she did too.

"We have to take her to Katara, now!" commanded the former Fire Lord.

The other Firebender obliged without hesitation, and her body was carried away.

But Korra was focusing on something else.

Blending into the palm trees, she saw a figure walking away from the scene. It was a man dressed in yellow and orange robes. And if that had not tipped her off, the blue ink on his head definitely had.

"Aang?"

* * *

 **A/N:** 20 Chapters already, wow. To be honest, when I did the layout of this story, I had planed to do 12 chapters at most. Yet here we are. Notes:

1\. Korra is obviously not dead. I wanted to include an out-of-body experience for her. I hope you remember what happened to Mako back at the beginning when he had visions of Raava and the past Avatars after striking Korra with lightning.

2\. Mako's and Korra's clothing do resemble Zuko's and Katara's back in Book 3 of ATLA. Fire Nation garments are just beautiful.

 **Please leave a review with your thoughts on this chapter. And in spirit of 20 chapters, I would love to know what was your favorite/least favorite scene of the story so far.**

 **Happy New Year, everyone!**


	21. XXI

**A/N:** I cannot stress enough how sorry I am for the time it took to update. My studies and other things really consumed most of my days, which did not leave much time for hobbies, such as writing. I hope you guys can understand.

But right now it's summer, so I will try my best to make it up to you. I truly hope you enjoy this one.

* * *

" _You struggled. You suffered. But you have always followed your own path."_

 **– _Iroh_**

* * *

 **XXI**

Nothing.

That's all she could see. Absolute darkness. She had no idea where she was going, but one thing was for sure, she was heading somewhere. Wasn't that what mattered at the end of the day? Getting somewhere?

But her hands kept pushing and pushing things out of the way and she was afraid, if only for a moment, that she had entered some kind of limbo, from which she would not be able to escape. The tunnel felt endless, if it was a tunnel to begin with.

Whatever she was touching on her path felt like plants. But how could she know, anyways? Her senses could have been clouded. After all, she had been struck with lightning.

Or had she?

The events seemed so long ago that she could not help but feel like they had been a mere fragment of her broken imagination.

And she could have stuck to that idea. She did not remember the light nor the sound nor the pain. From that, she could have concluded that she was simply going mental.

But it was never that simply.

She remembered the colors yellow and orange. There was something about those colors. It was important, she knew it in her heart. It was not an _it_ she was looking for.

With every passing second she felt more and more weightless. She had felt like that at some point in her life. She just had to figure out _why_.

There was still time to turn around. But go back to… where exactly?

She did not know what awaited later on nor back there, if she were to turn around. But one thing was certain. Regardless of the possible challenges ahead of her, it was always, _always,_ better to move forward.

The future was weightless. As if she had abandoned any kind of physical burden. She was just…

Her feet stopped and her arms landed on her sides.

She was in the Spirit World.

Aang had led her here.

The blackness around her started to dissipate, shades of blue invading her vision. To her surprise, there were no plants, no trees, no living thing around her.

It was just ice.

It seemed familiar. The clearer the picture got, the more she recalled from the place. At some point in her life, she had been there. She had stood over the same tall cliff before, and ironically, she had crumbled down on it.

" _I've been waiting for you,"_ she heard behind her.

A chill traveled up and down her spine, as she realized that it wasn't a voice or two. And as her eyes moved away from the cliff, her realizations were proven correct. Rows of bodies were standing in front of her. Bodies, which she knew too well. Lifetimes that had preceded hers.

Gulping, her vision landed on the figure she had been chasing earlier.

Even though she had a million questions in her head and her own mind was being consumed by excitement and anxiety, the first thing that escaped her lips, without even meaning to, was, "What am I doing here?"

No answer.

"Am I dead?" she asked nervously this time.

Only silence.

Tiny droplets of cold sweat formed on her forehead. She could feel her heart beating harshly under her blue coat, a piece of clothing she did not even think she was wearing a few hours ago.

"You ask what you already know," a woman with face painting and green clothing spoke sternly, "You're afraid of death."

Shaking her head, she burrowed her face in her hands, "I'm not."

She was met again by only silence. She was lying to herself, it was evident. And as they were a part of her, she was lying to them as well. They all knew.

"I can't be," she added more stubbornly this time.

"You _can_ be," a voice, which she knew belonged to the previous Fire Nation Avatar, rose above the rest.

"No," she assured them, shaking her head as her turquoise eyes started to close.

"You believe that because of what you are, you're not allowed to make mistakes," a man with blue arrow tattoos appeared in front of the rest of the bodies.

Running a hand through her hair, she gulped, "I've made too many."

"So did we," the monk added with a nod, "You've been through a lot, Korra."

She tried to gulp again, but her throat was dry.

"I've failed everyone. I've failed all of you. I–" but she failed to finish her sentence, because with all sincerity, she was not sure what she could say in her defense. If she could defend herself at all.

She knew, however, that they were not expecting any kind of defense to begin with.

"You're human," Aang continued, recognizing her internal turmoil, "You're meant to _fall_. You're meant to suffer."

The only word that she could mutter, and the only one she wanted to mutter at that point was, "Why?"

"How could you keep the balance, if you don't understand both sides?" Aang asked rhetorically, she assumed, as she knew he was not expecting an answer from her either, "You have the light of Raava living inside of you. Yet, you're still human. Do you know why that is?"

She thought about it for a while, but was not able to voice her thoughts.

"As the Avatar, you must be able to understand humans," Roku explained, "In order to understand them, you need to experience their pain, their weaknesses, their fears. You must _fall_."

They did not continue talking, but they observed her. She murmured after a while, "I won't be able to do what I must."

It was Kyoshi who answered this time, "If you have failed and given up," her stern look penetrated her very spirit, "Then let go."

"I don't know if I can," she felt that was all that went through her head. She knew nothing.

"If you are done with this life," Kyoshi repeated, "This is your time."

Following the gazes of her past lives, she found herself staring at the horizon. More specifically, at the end of the cliff.

Her brow furrowed, her feet backed down quickly, away from the seemingly infinite drop. She did not remember it to be that high.

Her hurried legs caused her to trip and fall, but she still backed away as much as she could, "You want me to jump?"

She had expected to be met with dead silence, as she had before, and as she had for years. But this time was different.

"Do what you must, _Avatar Korra_. Be brave."

When she turned around, she was completely alone. She could hear nothing but her breathing.

She took the longest breath of her lifetime. At least that was the way it felt, as she removed her coat and boots, and so on.

Weightless again. Until her skin was stabbed by a thousand knives that was the freezing water.

And then nothing.

* * *

"She is okay."

Those words were probably the most relieving sentence he had heard in a while.

The young Airbender took a seat next to him, placing her small hand on top of his bigger one. She gave him a smile, which did not quite reach her eyes, but he appreciated her effort.

"Gran Gran is doing everything she can," the brown-eyed girl comforted him with a squeeze of her hand.

He merely nodded. There was not a lot people could say to make him feel better. But it was not their job to do so, he knew that. No one was exactly sure what had happened during that training. Somehow, the energy striking Korra had built some kind of spiritual connection strong enough for her to go into the Spirit World. Only one thing was certain, it had been no one's fault.

At least that was what Lord Zuko had said.

After sighing for a few seconds, he voiced the question he had been too afraid to ask before, "Do you think that will be enough?"

Jinora looked down at her feet, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"It is up to Korra now," answered the brunette, "There is a reason she is in the Spirit World. Maybe there is something she must do."

"What if she's in trouble?" asked the golden-eyed man only loud enough for the girl to hear, "What if she stays there too long?"

And she replied with the expected, "I don't know," he could hear the worry in her voice, "She's the Avatar. I can't know if her experience will be anywhere close to mine."

"But what if it is?" the Firebender asked again, this time looking at the teenager, "If she needs help–"

"Mako, we do not know where she is or what she is doing there," Jinora interrupted with apologetic eyes, "She could be anywhere."

"Then help me find her," Mako told her without thinking.

She was taken aback for a couple of seconds, trying to read his expression, "I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's dangerous," she answered with furrowed eyebrows, "I don't think I can go by myself."

He shook his head, "You would not be going by yourself."

As she raised an eyebrow, she questioned disbelievingly, "You? But you have never–"

"I know it sounds impossible, but just hear me out," he pleaded with his eyes.

Her eyes shifted from left to right as she bit her lip, "So many things could go wrong–"

"It's unfair of me to ask this from you," Mako sighed again in frustration, "I can't just sit here and hope for the best. If she needs me…"

It was unnecessary to finish the sentence, as the young girl had already understood. Yet, the Airbender still stared at him, unsure of what to do.

After a while, she said, "Okay. Let's hear that plan of yours."

* * *

When she had submerged into the cold water, she had anticipated many outcomes. Waking up was the first idea that came to mind. She pictured herself opening her eyes in Ember Island, ready to hear the familiar voices of her mentors and friends. She pictured Mako.

It seemed like the most logical aftermath. Her meeting with her past lives could have been a dream, some kind of lesson, from which she had to learn something before continuing with her own life.

That had not been the case.

The second scenario she had imagined was death. Maybe she was not strong enough to finish the job, carry on with her duties. Maybe the lightning had indeed killed her. But there would have been nothing much after that.

That had also not been the case.

As soon as she recovered her senses, numbed by the excruciating contact with the ocean, she had found herself drowning.

Her first instinct was bending the water around her but failed in the process. That is when she noticed that she was still in the Spirit World.

Her eyes shot open, her arms moved and legs kicked as fast as she could to reach the surface. The lack of oxygen had made her feel dizzy and brought back memories that she was terrified of. The images in her head, the feeling of not being able to breathe caused her whole body to be invaded by panic.

She could not calm herself down.

She did not even try to calm herself down.

It seemed like an eternity before she was able to breathe. The moment she broke out of the water, her mouth opened immediately, inhaling as much air as possible.

She continued to swim out of the water, and the moment her feet touched the ground, she allowed her legs to give in and fell on her knees as she kept coughing.

As soon as she regained her strength, she examined her surroundings. The place was completely silent, not even the leaves could be heard, dancing with the wind. The woodland was full with tall trees and she spotted a single stream running through the grove.

She could have been anywhere, but then she noticed that the water was red.

As soon as the realization hit her, she could have sworn she felt the color abandon her face.

There was no time for her to escape or prepare herself, because someone was already waiting for her.

"Welcome to Xai Bau's Grove once more, Avatar Korra," said someone behind her.

Her eyes met the person behind the voice and every single part of her body tensed.

His hair was long and grey, completely different from the way he looked when she first met him. Other than that, he looked exactly the same. His expression as unreadable as ever. That was what unsettled her the most.

Legs crossed, eyes closed. He seemed to be calm.

Too calm.

Although it seemed as if he was not prepared to fight, she knew better. He had somehow always had the upper hand when it came to surprises. She was not in advantage here. She was not in her element.

As if reading her mind, he said, "There is no use in trying to bend."

She knew that already, if her almost drowning experience had been any indication. Yet, her hands could not help but twitch.

"You have been hiding for a long time," the corners of his lips lifted, but she knew that the grin was more disturbing than anything.

And in spite of how alarmed she felt, she managed to be as inexpressive as he was, "I am not hiding from anyone."

"That is true," the Airbender agreed, but the look in his eyes unnerved her, "You are not hiding anymore."

The message was clear as crystal to her. He knew where she was physically located. There was an initial shock, which she did not show, but she had already had the feeling that she had been watched at some point. She did not think, however, that he was the one who had been watching her.

"What are you waiting for then?" spat the brunette, already having enough of his presence, "You know where I am. You are free now. Come find me."

Her pretended bravery did not shake him in the slightest. Only a quiet laugh left his mouth, which only made her feel foolish to try to fool someone like Zaheer.

"None of us are free _yet_ ," answered the Red Lotus member, "Not even you."

Snorting, the Water Tribe woman countered, "You don't know anything about me."

"You can't go into the Spirit World," there was no doubt in his statement, it was a fact, and that only disturbed her more, "I spend most of my time in the Spirit World and it's well-known that the Avatar's spirit hasn't been there for a few years."

She remained stoic, standing a few meters away from the reason behind her nightmares. On the inside, though, she felt like she was not strong enough to carry on with this unexpected meeting. She could only hope that the distance between them could mask the way her hands slightly shook and her forehead glowed with sweat.

"It seems to me," continued Zaheer, "That you are your own prison."

Her eyes narrowed at his words.

The anger, which she did not know was building up inside of her along with fear, started to surface, "No, my problem is you!" her voice rose with every word, hatred spilled into each one of them, "You poisoned me! You've ruined me! People used to think I was unstoppable, but now they don't think I'm capable of anything!"

By the end of her sentence, she was breathing heavily. Those words were not new to her, but it was the first time she had said them out loud. She had poured all of her anger and frustration into them, and even though she wished it had made her feel better, it hadn't.

"Blaming me is just a crutch to make you feel better, but it's not helping you recover."

And with that, she could feel herself exponentially losing it. She could not listen to him any longer.

He saw it in her eyes too. Maybe that was what he wanted. He wanted her to crack. It would surely make his goals a lot easier to achieve.

"We cannot bend in the Spirit World," he repeated what he had said before, noticing the way her hands twitch to bend.

But for a second, she stopped caring.

"I will no longer be scared of you!" she screamed with rage as her fists took their stance in front of her chest.

She looked at her enemy, eyes burning with fury as she waited for his next move.

He did not move a finger. He did not even blink.

Her brain warned her not to lower her guard for a second, and she did not. However, the more she waited, the weaker her legs became. There was something bizarre about the way he was looking at her.

Right then and there she knew that it did not matter how much she tried to conceal it, how much she pretended, he would recognize the fear in her eyes.

And he did.

Even though she was on the defense, she could have never been able to block his attack. He lunged towards her and she took a step back, but he had the advantage.

He had, after all, nothing to fear.

She expected a blow, which never came. His hand harshly grabbed her forearm before Xai Bau's Grove vanished into new surroundings.

The two appeared on top of a tall rock. A foggy abyss under them.

"I guess it didn't work", his laugh, along with the look in his eyes, was something she would never forget, but it was his words that had paralyzed her with fear on the inside, "You still seem scared."

Taking a step forward, he made his final move, pushing her into the fog that would soon be her _real_ prison.

This time, she never felt the landing.

* * *

 **A/N:** So there it is. After so many months, I hope it did not disappoint! A few notes:

1\. The encounter between Korra and Zaheer was similar to the one in Book 4, when Korra goes into the Spirit World. Some of the lines are taken from that scene too. Obviously this time, there was a different outcome. Also, this is not the last of Zaheer.

2\. The very last part was a parallel to the conversation between Aiwei and Zaheer in Book 3. Zaheer threw Aiwei into the Fog of Lost Souls, now we get to see what would happen to Korra in there.

3\. The past Avatars wanted Korra to "jump" in order for her to face her fears, "to do what she must."

 **I must apologize if it feels a bit rusty, first time writing a chapter since January. I will try to update by the end of this week if possible. But please, let me know what you think. It would help a lot to get some feedback after such a long time.**

 **Thank you for reading.**


	22. XXII

_"The true mind can weather all the lies and illusions without being lost. The true heart can tough the poison of hatred without being harmed."_

– **Lion Turtle**

* * *

 **XXII**

Her eyes adjusted to the nothingness.

Everywhere she turned, everywhere she looked, there _it_ was. The Fog.

After minutes, hours, or days, for all she knew, it did not become easier to be trapped there. She had tried everything she could've thought of.

She ran in one direction for as long as her legs allowed her to. The fog did not dissipate in the slightest. It seemed to extend in every endless direction.

She tried screaming for help to no avail. No one came.

The silence was so overwhelming that she could hear her own heart pumping. Her breathing had become louder and louder. It was driving her mad.

With every passing second, Korra forgot more and more about who she was. The mist was responsible for her current state, and she was aware of it.

That awareness would not last long.

It was an enemy she did not know how to defeat. It was unstoppable, unbreakable, unbearable. The Fog was not going anywhere.

Neither was she.

"My name is Korra," she murmured to herself, "I was born in the Southern Water Tribe. I'm the Avatar. My parents are Tonraq and Senna."

She felt it poising her very core. It became more difficult to recall positive memories, as well as small details.

It was impossible for her to keep track of time, which made it all more intolerable. If she could not engineer a way to get of the labyrinth, she would be there forever.

She did not even know if it was possible for her to perpetually be there. Perhaps when her physical self passed away, she would be freed from this prison.

Or maybe not.

Looking at her predicament, she found herself wishing she had given up when her past lives had offered her the chance. But she did not quit or back down at the sight of trouble. That was not her.

At least she thought she wasn't.

The Fog could be manipulating her once more, replaying false images in her mind as she tried to sort fiction from reality. Perhaps she was not who she thought she was. If she was the strong, brave person that she believed herself to be, she would certainly not be in this position. She should've at least found a way out by now.

But what did _by now_ mean at all? Ten minutes? Ten hours? Ten days? Ten—

"My name is Korra!" she repeated hastily for the hundredth time, this one more desperate than the ones before, as if trying to convince herself, "I was born in the Southern Water Tribe. I'm the Avatar. My parents—"

Brows furrowed, forming a crease on her forehead. She could not find the names in her brain. They were there, she knew, hiding from her grasp. The more she tried to recollect the information the further it seemed to be from her.

She ran a hand, which was shaking uncontrollably, through her messy hair. Attempting to calm herself down, she started to rub them against each other, as if she were cold.

She kneeled on the dusty ground, a frustrated grunt escaping her lips. Her fingers curled towards her palm, her nails digging into it until crescent shaped wounds started to appear. She raised her fists and hit the ground. Nothing. She hit it again.

And again.

And again.

"Do something!" her tone was loud, but never seemed louder than her own pulse, "Bend!"

But she knew she couldn't.

Her blue eyes snapped to her left, where she heard something. It was minimal, but in such a place, minimal felt like an earthquake to her.

She focused her vision and squinted to try to decipher the silhouette in the distance. As it came closer, she noticed a hairless head and robes with difficulty.

"Aang!" a smile displayed on her lips as she ran towards the person.

He knew how to help her, she would be finally get out of–

She stopped dead in her tracks when she could finally recognize the figure in front of her. It was indeed a bald man wearing robes, but he had golden chains connecting his nose and ear.

"You!" Aiwei pointed at her with his shivering finger, but the first thing she noticed about him were his eyes. They were moving rapidly from left to right, unable to focus on her. He did not look like the controlled, poised man she once met, but the complete opposite.

She pondered how much time she had until she lost her mind like he had.

"I'm not going to hurt you," the Avatar assured him, raising her arms in surrender, "We can help each other."

His shoulders relaxed for a moment as she neared him. Just when she thought that he was coming to his senses at the sight of a familiar face, he charged.

Her guard was down when he tackled her, giving him the upper hand. Her back hit the ground with force, but he did not give her time to wince in pain.

"You did this to me!" shrieked the madman on repeat, his hands circled her neck, "You did this to me!"

She was stronger than him, she knew, but she could not bring herself to stop him. As he pressed harder and harder, the lack of air revived nightmares that froze her in the spot.

It was the way it had to end, thought the girl. It was, after all, how it all started.

The suffering, the visions, the trauma. Korra should not have survived that day and she only had because of the Airbenders. She had not been strong enough. She had needed help.

When she closed her eyes, however, she realized that she was not _that_ Korra anymore. She was not the reckless child that was poisoned. Throughout these years, she had indeed suffered, but she had also changed. She grew stronger, even as she felt weaker.

She did not fear Aiwei, and not even Zaheer. They were physical representations of what she was truly terrified of.

Her own failure. Losing control.

That was what she needed to disclose in the Fog and she would be damned if she let the Fog win. In a swift motion, her fist collided with the aggressor's nose causing him to stumble backwards.

The man brought his hands towards his nose before running away, screaming.

She could not help but sympathize for a second, as she caught her breath. All souls that were trapped in the misty maze for long would never find peace. Perhaps some of them deserved it, but some did not. Even after what he had done, she wanted to believe Aiwei did not deserve it either.

Letting her arms fall cross behind her head, she engaged in thought. The Fog was testing her, and soon enough, it would claim her sanity as it had Aiwei's.

"It's just the fog," her voice came out as a reminder.

The sudden attack had distracted her, but now that it was just her once again, she could feel the infection of the prison spreading through her body. Soon enough, she would lose her mind. She would forget who she was.

What unsettled her the most was the uncertainty of how long _soon enough_ was.

In the Spirit World, she had an eternity of time. Nevertheless, in the physical world she was not as lucky.

There was someone after her. And that someone knew exactly where she was in both worlds.

Zaheer had attempted to abduct her more than once in the past. One of those times, she had been in the Spirit World as well. He had been with her too, but had informed the Red Lotus of her whereabouts somehow.

The cerulean-eyed woman sprang forward, crossing her legs on the ground. She inhaled deeply as her arms connected through the end of her fists.

Her lids lowered until the fog was no longer visible. She thought of the days meditation had been dreadful to her. When she had just moved to Republic City, she thought it was some sort of pointless punishment. Sitting down and breathing, what a waste of her time. Korra had always been more action-thrived.

Today, she welcomed the peacefulness that came along with it. It sharpened her mind, which she longed for in a place and time like this. She had to take advantage of it while she could. Meditating could become tainted as her mind succumbed to the foggy poison.

She imagined air traveling through her body, feeling lighter and lighter. If she opened her eyes, she knew where she would be. But for now, she was nowhere.

Air within her, air around her. She was air. Something a young Airbender Master had told her once while meditating.

Her mind showed her Jinora then.

"He's here. Be ready," she whispered.

* * *

The starless night slithered through the bedroom, a single candle providing the otherwise nonexistent light. The windows had been closed by the occupant, surrendering to the distress that she had been experiencing in the last few hours.

The twist and turn of the sheets only increased by the hour as she tried, and failed miserably, to give into sleep.

Her mind was too alert and awake to allow her to doze away. She guessed that the other residents of the house were possibly as insomniac as she was.

She was supposed to be too young to grasp the reality of what was going on. Yet, she understood. She knew too much.

Bringing her hand to her forehead, she traced the blue arrow with her fingers. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she was granted the honorable tattoo. It was the greatest accomplishment of her short life. She yearned reliving the memory as it once was: a celebration.

Tonight, she could not.

Something she remembered about that ceremony was clouding her thoughts. Korra on a wheelchair.

Jinora had always admired the bold woman from the moment the Avatar had set foot on Republic City. It was painful to see her like that. Broken. A sight that she had never imagined nor wished to see.

She had witnessed Korra defeat her enemies before. Amon, Unalaq, Zaheer. The blue eyed woman had not come out of it unscathed, losing even her connection to her past lives, but she had survived. Korra had defeated darkness itself.

" _Don't worry, they're alright,"_ the young Airbender had told her grandmother with a smile. They were in the South Pole at the time, after the Avatar had defeated Vaatu, _"Korra saved the world."_

The Avatar had been willing to give her life for the survival of the new Air Nomads, and paid the price for it in the end. And even after everything that she went through, Jinora knew that Korra would do it all over again.

She was nothing if not selfless, as every Avatar should be.

Now it was their turn to return the favor. Each and every one of them had to play their role to keep her safe. Not only because of what she was, but because of _who_ she was.

But while the young woman was in the Spirit World, there was not much they could do. What the Airbender had told Mako was true, Korra could be anywhere. They could not know if she was in danger there. But they knew for a fact that she was in danger in Ember Island.

She was in danger anywhere as long as Zaheer was alive.

Every nation had been alerted of the fugitive and Ember Island was protected by the White Lotus. If Zaheer made a move, they would know.

For those reasons, the girl could not agree to bring Mako to the Spirit World. He had tried to persuade her into it after Korra was struck by lightning. But she did not know if she could get him in, and most importantly, she was not sure she would be able to get him _out_.

If something went wrong, there would be three comatose bodies instead of just Korra's.

Her mind refused to shut down for the night, forcing her to remove the sheets off her body. She proceeded to the center of the room, gently lowering herself into a sitting position.

With crossed legs and touching fists, she closed her brown eyes. Her worries and anxiety seemed to fly away with every deep breath, and she was certain in that moment that she was levitating.

The candle next to the bed flickered.

Immersed in her meditation, the Airbender failed to notice it. She merely inhaled again, as her mind showed her Korra. Her position mimicked Jinora's, her blue eyes closed. They were meditating together, as they had done many times before. It could have been a few days ago. Or months. She tried to pinpoint the source of the memory.

The flickering of the flame continued.

Jinora noticed a shift in the room, it felt heavier. The air dense with realization. Her brown eyes bolted open and the fire of the candle extinguished.

It was not a memory.

Before she could comprehend what she was doing, her legs carried her out of her bedroom. As she ran up the stairs and then down the hall, she stumbled into something, breaking it in the process and startling everyone in her wake.

Nonetheless, her feet did not stop the sprint until they had reached the Avatar's room. She slammed the door open, alerting two individuals.

"Jinora—" her grandmother, who had been tending Korra, addressed the young Airbender with perturbed eyes.

The brown eyed girl interrupted her in between breaths, "I saw her!"

Mako, who had been resting on a couch nearby jolted towards her, grabbing her arm, "What happened?"

She yanked her arm away from his grip and stood next to Korra, panic dripping from her voice, "She is in the fog."

The elder gulped, while a thousand questions formed in the Firebender's mind. More people arrived in the room, doubtlessly because of the Airbender's previous commotion. Lord Zuko, as well as Toph, had joined the unsettling conversation.

"We have to help her," Jinora stated without hesitation.

None of them knew what it felt like to be trapped inside that prison. But Jinora knew. And what she knew was terrifying enough to guess what that place could do to someone with as many demons as Korra.

She wanted to cry, but could not bring herself to do it, so she placed a hand on the Avatar's.

The dark-skinned woman looked undisturbed, as if she were having the most calming of naps. There were no frowns on her forehead, her eyes were not stressed. She hoped that her friend could take care of herself.

Jinora was gently squeezing the other's hand, when an almost inaudible whisper turned every head in the room in its direction, _"He's here. Be ready."_

Stillness engulfed the room at the sound of _her_ voice. Korra's eyes were still closed, as if nothing had happened. However, every other mouth was hanging open.

None of them needed to ask questions. They knew exactly what Korra meant.

They were under attack and did not even know it.

* * *

 **A/N:** A year goes by in the blink of an eye. Unbelievable. I saw the last time I updated and was in utter shock. This was the 22nd chapter and there should only be a couple more left. It has been a pleasure to write this story and it will be done before this year ends. Notes as always:

1\. In Book 3 "The Stakeout", Zaheer tells Gazhan, Ming-Hua and P'Li that Korra is the Misty Palm Oasis while he is in the Spirit World. I always thought it was impressive how he did it, which is why I wanted Korra to do it.

2\. Korra could not be out of the Fog of Lost Souls in one chapter, this one was meant to show her struggle.

I'd also like to give special thanks to Steven Bodner for his help and for always sharing ideas.

 **Please let me know what you thought, if there's anyone reading at all. I will always appreciate your reviews and it motivates me to write more.**

 **Thank you for reading and sticking with the story.**


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